Posted on 07/19/2008 8:31:11 AM PDT by MaryFromMichigan
Calvin "Clicker" Embry talks a little funny these days. You would, too if a 15-pound snapping turtle ever latched onto your tongue and wouldn't let go."
I started doing this trick years ago, and it's a great crowd pleaser," the legendary turtle hunter said. "I guess I've kissed about a hundred snappin' turtles and never been bit — until this last time."
....
The chunk of tongue that's missing makes "Clicker" talk a little funny, but it's not serious enough to stop him from kissing snapping turtles on the snout or licking their eyeballs.
This bizarre story started to unfold just before dusk this past Fourth of July. Embry, 41, a laborer from Wayne City, Ill., was at a local fireworks display when one of his buddies asked if he'd show everybody how he can hypnotize a snapping turtle and kiss him right on the snout.
"I started doing this trick years ago, and it's a great crowd pleaser," the legendary turtle hunter said. "I guess I've kissed about a hundred snappin' turtles and never been bit — until this last time."
Embry just happened to have a 15-pound "snapper" with him at the fireworks show, and he proceeded to demonstrate his bizarre animal hypnotism routine.
"I got him out of the truck, tilted him down at just the right angle and started rubbin' his belly," Embry said. "If you do it just right, they get all relaxed and everything and you can kiss 'em right on the snout."
Well, Embry did everything the same way he had the previous hundred times, but something went wrong.
"I must have tilted him the wrong way, 'cause he woke up," Embry said. "I can usually kiss him on the snout, then lick their eyeballs before they wake up, but something went really wrong."
What went wrong was the 15-pound turtle woke up and latched onto Embry's tongue as he was preparing to lick the creature's eyeballs.
"When it happened, everybody started running around like crazy and were yelling," Embry said. "Do you know how hard it is to talk with a 15-pound snappin' turtle hanging off the end of your tongue?"
Embry finally was able to communicate to a friend to get a knife and stick it into the turtle's mouth and work it back and forth. "They'll let go every time," Embry said.
Once his friend had pried the turtle off his tongue, "Clicker" decided it was time to go to the emergency room to see what was left of his tongue.
"That doctor hadn't ever seen anything like this, so he took some pictures for the Southern Illinois University School of Medicine," Embry said. "I got a tetanus shot and he sent me home."
Embry later saw his family physician and got some antibiotics. The chunk of tongue that's missing makes "Clicker" talk a little funny, but it's not serious enough to stop him from kissing snapping turtles on the snout or licking their eyeballs.
"I kept that old turtle and will probably have him mounted by a taxidermist one of these days," Embry said. "For now, though, I'm keeping his water changed every day and don't have any plans to dress him out."
If anyone's keeping score, that's "Clicker" Embry 100, snappin' turtles 1.
Democrats In The News Ping!
Well it had to happen sometime. I’m sure the odds were running against him. Wonder if there was beer involved? He should have given some to the turtle.
He still thinks it was worth it . After all he was licking a snapping turtle’s eyeball . Who wouldn’t be proud of that ?
Paging "WTF Cat."
Kissing and licking snapping turtles is vile! Have you ever smelled one? They always smell like sewage and have little bugs and worms crawling around on their shell. This guy is nuts.
Eating doggy poop would be more sanitary than licking a snapping turtle
"I said NO TONGUE!"
Potlatch, this story is so gross you need to see it, lol.
pucker up baby!
Went to the website of the Evansville newspaper that published this gem of a story. It seems Wayne County is considered to be the meth capitol of the midwest. Any bets that old Calvin might have been under the influence of more than a couple of beers?
Years ago I heard about some guy who loved the taste of snapping turtle meat, and decided to be the “Johnny Appleseed” of snappers across the US heartland. He would get a trunk full of baby turtles and set out to find uninhabited lakes.
I have no idea if the story is real, or if he started a plague of snapping turtles, or if all of the turtles he transplanted died for whatever reasons.
A big snapping turtle got my bulldog. , Gave her quite a scratch on her face.
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