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Little Known Facts about Sarah Palin
Sarah Palin Facts ^ | Aug. 31, 2008

Posted on 08/31/2008 5:41:01 PM PDT by Alouette

Sarah Palin used to wrestle kodiak bears in Alaskan bare knuckles fight clubs.

Sarah Palin once bagged a caribou by staring it down until it died.

Sarah Palin turned down a job as skipper of a Deadliest Catch boat because it wasn't challenging enough

Sarah Palin fishes salmon by convincing them it's in their interest to jump into the boat.

Sarah Palin once guided Santa's sleigh through an Alaskan blizzard with the light from her smile.

Chuck Norris wishes he was Sarah Palin trapped in a man's body.

Sarah Palin paid her way through school by hunting for yeti pelts with a slingshot.

Sarah Palin knows the location of DB Cooper's body because she threw him from the plane.

The Northern Lights are really just the reflection from Sarah Palin's eys.

The raw energy of Sarah Palin melts the Alaskan ice roads every spring.

We don't know who would win in a Chuck Norris - Sarah Palin cage match because they've never inventea cage that can hold Sarah Palin.

Alaska is the 49th state solely because they knew even before she was born that Sarah Palin would never finish last.

Global Warming doesn't kill polar bears. Sarah Palin does - usually with her bare hands.

Three of Sarah Palin's five kids came out sideways - she never flinched.

Sarah Palin's hotness is the largest single contributor to melting polar ice caps.

It's not raining in DC. Those are God's tears of joy that McCain picked Sarah Palin.

We don't know who would win in a Chuck Norris - Sarah Palin cage match bcause they've never invented a cage that can hold Sarah Palin


TOPICS: Humor; Society
KEYWORDS: palin; politics; sarah; sarahcuda
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1 posted on 08/31/2008 5:41:01 PM PDT by Alouette
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To: 1st-P-In-The-Pod; 2ndDivisionVet; A_Conservative_in_Cambridge; af_vet_rr; agrace; Aiko; ...

Add your own!


2 posted on 08/31/2008 5:41:51 PM PDT by Alouette (Vicious Babushka)
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To: Alouette

u b series?


3 posted on 08/31/2008 5:43:25 PM PDT by ken21 (people die and you never hear from them again.)
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To: Alouette
Sarah Palin can kick the @ss of any RAT metrosexual in Washington, DC and her husband, the First Dude can whup anything the RATs can field nationwide.
4 posted on 08/31/2008 5:44:40 PM PDT by WorkingClassFilth
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To: Alouette

Sarah can make a grizzly bear skin itself and lay it at her feet.. all of this with that wonderful smile of hers.


5 posted on 08/31/2008 5:45:29 PM PDT by Ancient Drive
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To: Alouette

Sarah Palin will give birth to the man who will lead humanity’s war against the machines


6 posted on 08/31/2008 5:46:18 PM PDT by skaterboy (Sarah Palin...VPILF :o))
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To: Alouette

Sarah Palin’s smile saves PUMAs


7 posted on 08/31/2008 5:47:54 PM PDT by Ancient Drive
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To: Alouette

LOL!


8 posted on 08/31/2008 5:47:57 PM PDT by Salvation (†With God all things are possible.†)
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To: Alouette

Sarah Palin never went to a Madrassa.


9 posted on 08/31/2008 5:48:56 PM PDT by Nachum (Obama: building a religion)
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To: Alouette

Sarah Palin is so hot, she increased the recession of the Exit Glacier


10 posted on 08/31/2008 5:49:08 PM PDT by bert (K.E. N.P. +12 . Conservation? Let the NE Yankees freeze.... in the dark)
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To: Alouette

Sarah’s living room couch is a polar bear she lets loose for the night before she goes to bed.


11 posted on 08/31/2008 5:49:40 PM PDT by Krankor (Are you claiming you eat toucans or)
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To: skaterboy

Sarah Palin will step on the Serpent’s head.. ooops getting biblical here.


12 posted on 08/31/2008 5:49:40 PM PDT by Ancient Drive
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To: skaterboy
Sarah Palin will give birth to the man who will lead humanity’s war against the machines

This is an excellent vein to mine for net/blog parallels, imagery and pop-culture snippets. The idea of the human struggle against a leftist machine state is, as Tony the Tiger says: G-r-r-r-eat!

BTW, mind if I steal your post for use?
13 posted on 08/31/2008 5:51:13 PM PDT by WorkingClassFilth
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To: Alouette
She's a babe with glasses . . . 'nuff said!

Why are all the good ones taken? ::Sigh!::

14 posted on 08/31/2008 5:51:15 PM PDT by Zionist Conspirator ('Ani Ledodi Vedodi Li.)
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To: Alouette
Sarah Palin can out-bowl Obama with both hands tied behind her back.
15 posted on 08/31/2008 5:51:50 PM PDT by Shqipo (Palin for Veep...? The shot....SCORE!!!!!)
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To: Ancient Drive

Now, leave Carville out of this Palin thread............


16 posted on 08/31/2008 5:51:54 PM PDT by doorgunner69
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To: Alouette

Senator Biden wears Sarah Palen underwear.


17 posted on 08/31/2008 5:53:39 PM PDT by Always Right (Obama: more arrogant than Bill Clinton, more naive than Jimmy Carter, and more liberal than LBJ.)
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To: Salvation

Sarah Palin’s story is real, Joe Biden’s story is plagiarized.


18 posted on 08/31/2008 5:53:57 PM PDT by political1 (figure skating)
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To: Alouette

Howwwwllling with laughter here ...


19 posted on 08/31/2008 5:55:25 PM PDT by GOPPachyderm
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To: Alouette

Sarah Palin is Algore’s Inconvenient Truth...

He knew something was causing warmer temperatures in the North, he just didnt know what, or who...


20 posted on 08/31/2008 5:57:38 PM PDT by Tennessee Nana (McCain/Palin Now that's a ticket that deserves a tagline)
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To: Alouette
Three of Sarah Palin's five kids came out sideways - she never flinched.

OK, I'm suspicious. That one is stolen from Planes, Trains, and Automobiles.

The others I can believe.

21 posted on 08/31/2008 5:57:45 PM PDT by Mediocrates (The Audacity of Hype)
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To: Alouette
“Three of Sarah Palin’s five kids came out sideways - she never flinched.”

Ha! Planes, Trains, and Automobiles.

22 posted on 08/31/2008 5:57:49 PM PDT by ryan71 (McCain/Palin 08)
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To: political1

Sarah Palin is so HOT.... Maxim Magazine offered to Rename the Magazine to “Palin Magazine”


23 posted on 08/31/2008 5:59:08 PM PDT by Swingj (Link to Islip in Newsday)
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To: Alouette

Sarah Palin once glared at Bill Brassky - and he ran away like a little girl.


24 posted on 08/31/2008 6:03:48 PM PDT by beezdotcom
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To: Alouette

Sarah Palin once fought fire with fire and fire was admitted to the hospital with third degree burns.


25 posted on 08/31/2008 6:04:53 PM PDT by NavVet ( If you don't defend Conservatism in the Primaries, you won't have it to defend in November)
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To: Alouette

Sarah Palin once fought fire with fire and fire was admitted to the hospital with third degree burns.


26 posted on 08/31/2008 6:05:01 PM PDT by NavVet ( If you don't defend Conservatism in the Primaries, you won't have it to defend in November)
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To: Alouette
A moose once bit Sarah Palin’s sister. It was the last thing he ever did.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris. When the Chuck Norris goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Sarah Palin.
Sarah Palin drank Daniel Plainview's milkshake.
Sarah Palin doesn't go hunting. Hunting implies the possibility of failure. Sarah Palin goes killing.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Sarah Palin has allowed to live.
27 posted on 08/31/2008 6:05:54 PM PDT by lesser_satan (Satire today, headlines tomorrow...)
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To: Alouette

28 posted on 08/31/2008 6:08:51 PM PDT by WaterBoard
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To: Always Right
Senator Biden wears Sarah Palin underwear.

I thought someone would find that funny.

29 posted on 08/31/2008 6:15:42 PM PDT by Always Right (Obama: more arrogant than Bill Clinton, more naive than Jimmy Carter, and more liberal than LBJ.)
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To: Alouette

If Moses had failed, God would have caused Sarah Palin be born 3500 years ago.

Liberace was gay, but only because he never met Sara Palin!

Abraham’s wife’s last name was Heath (Sarah Palin’s maiden name).


30 posted on 08/31/2008 6:19:20 PM PDT by Blood of Tyrants (G-d is not a Republican. But Satan is definitely a Democrat.)
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To: Always Right
senator Biden would like to wear Sarah Palin's underwear!
31 posted on 08/31/2008 6:24:09 PM PDT by CaptRon (Pedicaris alive or Raisuli dead)
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To: Alouette

Take any, or all, of Davey Crockett’s “Tall Tales” and attribute them to Sarah Palin. For Sarah; they are not merely “Tall Tales.”


32 posted on 08/31/2008 6:26:05 PM PDT by Grizzled Bear ("Does not play well with others.")
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To: Alouette

33 posted on 08/31/2008 6:28:51 PM PDT by Krankor (Are you claiming you eat toucans or)
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To: Alouette
Sarah Palin... a real "man" of genius ;-)


34 posted on 08/31/2008 6:53:26 PM PDT by Trajan88 (www.bullittclub.com)
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To: Alouette
McCain picked Palin because he wants to see an entire team of Secret Service walk a pack of 10 Alaskan Malamutes past congress every day and have them snarl at the RATS.
35 posted on 08/31/2008 6:59:08 PM PDT by IllumiNaughtyByNature (OBAMA: He was a flop before he became a flipper.)
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To: Ancient Drive
thats just toooo damn funny...
36 posted on 08/31/2008 7:00:07 PM PDT by Chode (American Hedonist - McCain/Palin'08 = http://www.johnmccain.com/)
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To: Alouette

Sarah Palin is not only a Creationist, but she personally went to Westminister Abbey and stole the bones of Charlie Darwin, replacing them with the bones of William Jennings Bryan just to tick them off

After this feat, she took Darwin’s bones and hurled them at wolves in Alaska while circling in a helicopter overhead


37 posted on 08/31/2008 7:13:09 PM PDT by Blogger
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To: Alouette
My new favorite:
Sarah Palin’s finishing move in the VP debate will be pulling Biden’s still beating heart from his chest & taking a bite.

38 posted on 08/31/2008 7:18:39 PM PDT by NonValueAdded ("John McCain has a birthday but he gives US the present.")
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To: Krankor

Excellent!!!


39 posted on 08/31/2008 7:20:00 PM PDT by NonValueAdded ("John McCain has a birthday but he gives US the present.")
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To: lesser_satan

Can I borrow this for a tag?

Sarah Palin doesn’t go hunting. Hunting implies the possibility of failure. Sarah Palin goes killing.


40 posted on 08/31/2008 7:22:16 PM PDT by GOPJ (Sarah Palin doesn't go hunting. Hunting implies the possibility of failure. Sarah Palin goes killing)
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To: GOPJ

Yeah, go right ahead!


41 posted on 08/31/2008 7:23:45 PM PDT by lesser_satan (Satire today, headlines tomorrow...)
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To: Alouette

Sarah Palin’s 7-10 mile run is actually the earth rotating under her feet at at the feel of her sneakers. The earth don’t wanna end up as a terrarium in her living room.


42 posted on 08/31/2008 7:39:04 PM PDT by Ancient Drive
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To: Alouette
Sarah Palin's tears cure cancer...

Unfortunately, she's so tough she never cries...

With apologies to the Chuck Norris joke makers....
43 posted on 08/31/2008 8:46:18 PM PDT by Acrobat (Can I get a specific answer Mr. O?)
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To: Alouette

Sarah Palin can knot a cherry tree with her tongue.

Sarah Palin came here to do two things... kill caribou with her bare hands and kick ass, and she’s all out of caribou.

Sarah Palin lets Superman hang out in her Fortress of Solitude only because he makes a great mojito.


44 posted on 08/31/2008 9:07:48 PM PDT by GraniteStateConservative (...He had committed no crime against America so I did not bring him here...-- Worst.President.Ever.)
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To: Alouette

Sarah Palin wears glasses only because they are specially designed to keep her eye death ray from destroying cities when she sneezes.


45 posted on 08/31/2008 9:10:47 PM PDT by GraniteStateConservative (...He had committed no crime against America so I did not bring him here...-- Worst.President.Ever.)
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To: Grizzled Bear

Funny, the minute Palin was introduced, I started humming the Davy Crockett theme song. She wasn’t born on a mountain top in Tennessee, was she?


46 posted on 08/31/2008 9:14:33 PM PDT by ntnychik
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To: Alouette

Sarah Palin has a bumper strip that says
Vegetarian: an old Indian that can’t hunt

This is true, according to Billy Cunningham (took over Drudge’s Sun. night radio show), who is singing her praises.


47 posted on 08/31/2008 9:18:05 PM PDT by ntnychik
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To: Alouette

Sarah Palin makes the greatest ice sculptures ever seen using only her perfectly manicured nails, that were manicured with a woodchipper.

And Sarah Palin said, “Let there be the Northern Lights, and there were the Northern Lights.” And Sarah Palin saw the Northern Lights, that it was good. Amen.


48 posted on 08/31/2008 9:26:28 PM PDT by GraniteStateConservative (...He had committed no crime against America so I did not bring him here...-- Worst.President.Ever.)
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To: ntnychik
She wasn’t born on a mountain top in Tennessee, was she?

She made the mountain and the mountain top in Tennessee Davy Crockett was born on... Plate tectonics describes the large scale motions of Earth's lithosphere, caused by Sarah Palin crushing her enemies under her ruby red peep-toe platform heels.

49 posted on 08/31/2008 9:38:55 PM PDT by GraniteStateConservative (...He had committed no crime against America so I did not bring him here...-- Worst.President.Ever.)
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To: GraniteStateConservative

Gosh, those ruby red shoes were the greatest. She should use them as a campaign logo.


50 posted on 08/31/2008 10:08:22 PM PDT by ntnychik
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