The 10 Most Devastating Insults [Actually Comebacks] of All Time

Cracked.com ^ | 12/1/08 | Michael Swaim

[Slings and Arrows]

The French call it “l’esprit d’escalier,” or “staircase ghost.”

To the rest of us, it is known simply as the comeback, that divine and tender coincidence of all the universe’s comedic forces at the perfect moment. A truly good comeback can instantly turn tables, elevate the terminally zinged to the status of champion, and reduce the zinger to a stuttering fool.

Sadly, many of us will go our entire lives without scoring a decent comeback, doomed to pause awkwardly and mutter some pathetic variation of “your face” for the rest of our miserable lives. For us, it must be enough simply to marvel at the comebacks of the better equipped, and possibly memorize them for later personal use.

[Enchante]

Here’s a good one that belongs on such a “top ten” list:

Lady Astor to Winston Churchill: “If you were my husband I would put poison in your tea.”

Churchill to Lady Astor: “Madam, were I married to you I would drink it!”

[Lady Jag]

REPARTEE:   What you think of today that you should have said last night.

[JoeSixPack1]

Inside Info always adds fuel to the flame. :-)

[dr_lew]

But how else could a materialist imagine it?

Spirit as other than a ghost, you mean ?

Cf. Lucretius, De Rerum Natura, Chapter 3, for an interesting discourse on mind and spirit from the materialist perspective.

Furthermore, the quickened power of body and mind have vigor and enjoy life only in close conjunction together - 3.558

[Harmless Teddy Bear]

WARNING: Contains strong language, blasphemy, confusion of James Garfield with Grover Cleveland.

And no mention of Florence King.

Humph!

[GOP_Raider]

Strangely enough, there's no entry for "What's your DU screenname?"

Or even "at least when I drive over bridges, I don't drown my lover." :)

[thefactor]

That's a nice shirt. You should have bought 2 of them and thrown 'em both out.

You get a free bowl of soup with that haircut?

They sell men's clothes where you bought those pants?

[MoochPooch]

Retort to someone who sticks out his tongue:

“No thanks, I use a scrub brush to clean my toilet.”

(BTW, doesn’t Oscar Wilde look like Snape (HARRY POTTER), played by Alan Rickman?)

[Always Independent]

Hey where’d you get that personality? A car accident!

[Always Independent]

I had a shirt like that! Then I got a job!

[Mojave]

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