The gravity of skiing (Dave Barry)

Miami Herald ^ | Dave Barry

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BY DAVE BARRY

(This classic Dave Barry column was originally published Feb. 29, 2004.)

I haven't attempted to ski for years, but recently I decided to take another stab at it. I was hoping they'd done something about the gravity problem.

Gravity is the biggest drawback to skiing. Without gravity, it would be a carefree activity: You'd put on your skis, head for the slopes and just . . . HOVER for a while. Then it would be time for ``apres ski''

(French for ''no longer skiing''). Instead, you have gravity. Huge amounts of it. Ski areas are located smack dab on top of giant gravity piles called ``mountains.'' Most areas also use machines to make more gravity at night. Thus powerful forces are always trying to suck you, the skier, down the mountain and into large fixed objects such as buildings. This is why the Number One Rule of Skiing Safety is: ``Never go up the mountain without a good reason, such as it is summer.''

This lesson was driven home to me dramatically the first time I tried skiing, which was in 1964 at a ski area in southern New York State, where much of the time, instead of snow, you ski on frozen mud (or, as we say in ski-area terminology, ``excellent conditions'').

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pong again

[WellyP]

Dave should have called me first!

[ETL]

An initially stationary object which is allowed to fall freely under gravity drops a distance which is proportional to the square of the elapsed time. An image was taken 20 flashes per second. During the first 1/20th of a second the ball drops one unit of distance (here, a unit is about 12 mm); by 2/20ths it has dropped a total of 4 units; by 3/20ths, 9 units and so on.

Free-body diagrams of an object on a flat surface and an inclined plane. Forces are resolved and added together to determine their magnitudes and the resultant.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Force

[maryz]

Then it would be time for "apres ski" (French for ''no longer skiing''). Instead, you have gravity.

And this is why many forward-looking people have switched from skiing as their sport to ski-resorting! ;-)

[Daffynition]

Funny read ...but Dave ought try X-country ... you can do it most anywhere, without the crowds, lift lines and insane boarders and it's a lot cheaper/free. Frankly, I think it's a better workout.

[3catsanadog]

I tried to learn how to ski when I lived in Colorado. I kept getting nausous - and this was on the bunny slope. I couldn’t get over that feeling no matter how many times I tried. I gave up. I didn’t care that everyone who lived in that state made themselves learn how to ski. It wasn’t for me.