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If There were A Husband Store For Women (Humor)
??? | 1/17/10 | ?????

Posted on 01/17/2010 8:15:05 PM PST by Tom Hawks

The Husband Store

A store that sells new husbands has opened recently in New York City. A woman may go there to choose a husband. At the entrance to the store is a description of how the store operates:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors, and the value of the products increases as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you may not go back down except to exit the building!

One day a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband for herself. At the first floor a sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs

She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.'

So she continues upward.  The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.

'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking, and Help With Housework.

'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor number 31,456,012 to this floor.  There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Education; Humor; Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: genderwars; men; pleasing; vanity; women
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Just though everyone one needed a good laugh
1 posted on 01/17/2010 8:15:06 PM PST by Tom Hawks
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To: Tom Hawks

Its funny and so true.


2 posted on 01/17/2010 8:18:36 PM PST by packrat35 (Democrat Healthcare is a 9-11 Attack on the Constitution)
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To: Tom Hawks

What would the woman store be like?

floor one: these women have boobs

floor two: these women have big boobs

floor three: these women have bigger boobs

floor four: No one knows whats on this floor since no man has made it this far


3 posted on 01/17/2010 8:20:46 PM PST by mamelukesabre (Si Vis Pacem Para Bellum (If you want peace prepare for war))
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To: Tom Hawks
Sorry i am a mean SOb tonight.
4 posted on 01/17/2010 8:23:01 PM PST by GSP.FAN (These are the times that try men's souls.)
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To: Tom Hawks

I got my husband on Floor 5. :-)


5 posted on 01/17/2010 8:26:21 PM PST by Tuscaloosa Goldfinch ( T.G., global warming denier.)
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To: Tom Hawks

I know some guys who have been looking for The Wife store. They haven’t found it yet because they won’t stop and ask for directions....


6 posted on 01/17/2010 8:28:20 PM PST by TexasNative2000 (There's a reason the oath talks about defending the country from enemies both "foreign AND domestic")
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To: mamelukesabre

Pretty good! You nailed it.


7 posted on 01/17/2010 8:28:50 PM PST by ottbmare (I could agree wth you, but then we'd both be wrong.)
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To: Tom Hawks

What a hoot!


8 posted on 01/17/2010 8:29:02 PM PST by umgud (I couldn't understand why the ball kept getting bigger......... then it hit me.)
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To: mamelukesabre
Photobucket
9 posted on 01/17/2010 8:30:26 PM PST by SkyDancer (I Believe In The Law Until It Interferes With Justice)
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To: TexasNative2000

Bada BING! :)


10 posted on 01/17/2010 8:30:26 PM PST by REDWOOD99
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To: Tom Hawks

I just forwarded this to my wife. Fitting for a day of me taking her abuse...


11 posted on 01/17/2010 8:30:39 PM PST by BreezyDog
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To: Tom Hawks; scripter

i would have kept going because one very important attribute is missing... high intelligence... my husband is from the fifth floor with the added intelligence... ;-)


12 posted on 01/17/2010 8:30:43 PM PST by latina4dubya ( self-proclaimed tequila snob)
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To: Tom Hawks

Little rat turd :p

Thanks for the giggles...


13 posted on 01/17/2010 8:32:11 PM PST by Irenic
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To: SkyDancer

Someone’s gotta tell ya how much they like your boobs.


14 posted on 01/17/2010 8:33:47 PM PST by mamelukesabre (Si Vis Pacem Para Bellum (If you want peace prepare for war))
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To: Tom Hawks

lol. Thought the sign would say, “..and gay.”


15 posted on 01/17/2010 8:33:50 PM PST by CodeToad (If it weren't for physics and law enforcement I'd be unstoppable!)
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To: mamelukesabre

[floor four: No one knows whats on this floor since no man has made it this far]

AND, that shows what BIG BOOBS men can be, lol!


16 posted on 01/17/2010 8:33:54 PM PST by potlatch (- What a co-inky-dink-)
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To: Tom Hawks

Now days the 6th floor is full of Queens from SF.


17 posted on 01/17/2010 8:34:16 PM PST by MaxMax (Lets get a sense)
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To: Tom Hawks
I am gay. A former lover of Bawney Fwanks. I went into the store and put my lips to work on a man on each floor. Except for the last floor. I was really pished not to be able to have another go on floor 6, but then a short little woman came up and dragged me over to her house for me coaching her on what she had seen me do on Floor 5.Her name was Croakley, some dame from Massachusetts. Kept mumbling things about the magic negro,whoever that is, getting ready for him or something like that.Did my best, wasn't much to work with.

( sarc.)

18 posted on 01/17/2010 8:34:56 PM PST by Candor7 ((The effective weapons against Fascism are ridicule, derision , truth (.Member RA))
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To: TexasNative2000
Photobucket
19 posted on 01/17/2010 8:36:41 PM PST by SkyDancer (I Believe In The Law Until It Interferes With Justice)
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To: MaxMax

LOL


20 posted on 01/17/2010 8:37:17 PM PST by mamelukesabre (Si Vis Pacem Para Bellum (If you want peace prepare for war))
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To: Tom Hawks
Yet another reason to remain single, celibate, and sane.

/johnny

21 posted on 01/17/2010 8:37:45 PM PST by JRandomFreeper (Gone Galt)
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To: mamelukesabre

Did you see “Leatherheads”? There’s a great scene in there where Renée Zellweger accuses this guy of looking at her bosom’s ....


22 posted on 01/17/2010 8:39:48 PM PST by SkyDancer (I Believe In The Law Until It Interferes With Justice)
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To: Tom Hawks

LOL!!!!!!!!!!


23 posted on 01/17/2010 8:39:51 PM PST by rabidralph ("Precedenting" is a lot tougher than community organizing.)
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To: SkyDancer

What an amateur! I’m an expert. I never get caught. Unless I want to.


24 posted on 01/17/2010 8:42:13 PM PST by mamelukesabre (Si Vis Pacem Para Bellum (If you want peace prepare for war))
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To: SkyDancer

No, it’s the interplay between her and the guy ... she accuses him of looking at her bosoms and he says he wasn’t then she says ... (you have to watch it) ....


25 posted on 01/17/2010 8:44:39 PM PST by SkyDancer (I Believe In The Law Until It Interferes With Justice)
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To: BreezyDog

I just did the same thing. Dittos on the abuse thing, too.


26 posted on 01/17/2010 8:45:49 PM PST by 50cal Smokepole (Effective gun control involves effective recoil management)
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To: potlatch

A boob on floor 3 has more fun than a nag on floor 6


27 posted on 01/17/2010 8:48:41 PM PST by mamelukesabre (Si Vis Pacem Para Bellum (If you want peace prepare for war))
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To: potlatch; pandoraou812
AND, that shows what BIG BOOBS men can be, lol!

We all know that BIG BOOBS rule the world. ;^)

28 posted on 01/17/2010 8:51:14 PM PST by TigersEye (It's the Marxism, stupid!)
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To: SkyDancer

Spiders and heavy furniture.


29 posted on 01/17/2010 8:57:16 PM PST by metalurgist (Want your country back? It'll take guns and rope. Marxists won't go without a fight.)
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To: metalurgist

Not afraid of spiders, the little fuzzy ones are cute, cat likes to chase them - as for heavy furniture, what I have looks ok where it is ....


30 posted on 01/17/2010 8:59:44 PM PST by SkyDancer (I Believe In The Law Until It Interferes With Justice)
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To: All

I would have stopped at Floor 2 and been happy with my purchase


31 posted on 01/17/2010 9:04:01 PM PST by wheninthecourse
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To: SkyDancer
Not afraid of spiders, the little fuzzy ones are cute, cat likes to chase them - as for heavy furniture, what I have looks ok where it is ....

I call double bull. Also,it figures you would have a cat.

32 posted on 01/17/2010 9:05:14 PM PST by metalurgist (Want your country back? It'll take guns and rope. Marxists won't go without a fight.)
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To: TigersEye

WEFG!


33 posted on 01/17/2010 9:09:56 PM PST by pandoraou812 (time to dump tar & feathers on DC!)
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To: metalurgist
I call double bull ...

Whatever ....

34 posted on 01/17/2010 9:11:16 PM PST by SkyDancer (I Believe In The Law Until It Interferes With Justice)
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To: pandoraou812

I meant the elected and appointed kind. Mostly. lol


35 posted on 01/17/2010 9:12:07 PM PST by TigersEye (It's the Marxism, stupid!)
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To: ryan71; boxerblues; Hammy; Petruchio; Phinanceguy; DollyCali; Yorlik803; ...

36 posted on 01/17/2010 9:12:59 PM PST by RandallFlagg (30-year smoker, E-Cigs helped me quit, and O wants me back smoking again?)
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To: metalurgist

Spiders???


37 posted on 01/17/2010 9:15:05 PM PST by ktscarlett66 (Face it girls....I'm older and I have more insurance....)
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To: TigersEye

Hmmm oookk lol.


38 posted on 01/17/2010 9:17:33 PM PST by pandoraou812 (time to dump tar & feathers on DC!)
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To: RandallFlagg

Oriental shorthairs — I had a pair like this, the same colors.


39 posted on 01/17/2010 9:18:58 PM PST by kabumpo (Kabumpo)
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To: TexasNative2000

*ouch*


40 posted on 01/17/2010 9:19:41 PM PST by null and void (We are now in day 361 of our national holiday from reality. - 0bama really isn't one of US.)
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To: SkyDancer

That’s quite profound ..


41 posted on 01/17/2010 9:30:00 PM PST by STARWISE (They (LIBS-STILL) think of this WOT as Bush's war, not America's war- Richard Miniter)
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To: RandallFlagg; Tom Hawks

42 posted on 01/17/2010 9:36:59 PM PST by JoeProBono (A closed mouth gathers no feet)
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To: Tom Hawks

So true.


43 posted on 01/17/2010 9:42:06 PM PST by HANG THE EXPENSE (Life is tough.It's tougher when you're stupid.)
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To: mamelukesabre

LOL


44 posted on 01/17/2010 9:43:13 PM PST by HANG THE EXPENSE (Life is tough.It's tougher when you're stupid.)
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To: kabumpo

I have, “Acquired,” six cats over the last four years.

Shoot me, please.

One bullet. My head.

I’m a cheap kill.


45 posted on 01/17/2010 9:46:33 PM PST by RandallFlagg (30-year smoker, E-Cigs helped me quit, and O wants me back smoking again?)
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To: Tom Hawks

Pretty good.


46 posted on 01/17/2010 9:54:49 PM PST by Red Steel
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To: Tom Hawks

Floor 7:

Over the years you’ve taken home a couple of samples from various floors and have tried them out and have now returned to take the express elevator directly to Floor 7.

Floor 7 offers: Peace and quiet, no remote controls, no beer, no one asking (starting at 7 AM) “What’s for dinner tonight?”, no ESPN, no laundry, no car dealerships, no camping gear, no fishing gear...


47 posted on 01/17/2010 9:59:25 PM PST by Happyinmygarden (Yes, actually, I have pretty much seen and heard it all before...)
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To: Happyinmygarden
May I add ...........hunting gear.

Sitting in the front hall presently are:

A Benelli shotgun in case, a new ice augur, a soaking wet portable blind [probably full of leaves and brambles], 5-6 camo outfits; compound bow and four pairs of hunting boots ...and that's only the top 'o the heap ...who knows what lurks below?

48 posted on 01/18/2010 2:25:46 PM PST by Daffynition (What's all this about hellfire and Dalmatians?)
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To: Daffynition

LOL

Good additions! As one woman to another........sigh


49 posted on 01/18/2010 5:07:24 PM PST by Happyinmygarden (Yes, actually, I have pretty much seen and heard it all before...)
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To: Happyinmygarden
Where's the man who keeps his junque organized ...like in the ads? **Double SIGH**


50 posted on 01/18/2010 5:16:20 PM PST by Daffynition (What's all this about hellfire and Dalmatians?)
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