Drunk Baboons Plague Cape Town's Exclusive Suburbs

The Telegraph ^ | 29 Aug 2010 | Jane Flanagan

[nickcarraway]

The sun is setting over South Africa's oldest vineyard and the last of the wine-tasting tourists are climbing onto their buses. But one large family group has no intention of leaving – and there is little the management can do about it.

Groot Constantia, in the heart of Cape Town's wine country, can deal with inebriated holidaymakers – but it is invading baboons which have developed a taste for its grapes that the wine makers are struggling with.

Each day, dozens of Cape Baboons gather to strip the ancient vines – the sauvignon blanc grapes are a particular favourite – before heading into the mountains to sleep. A few, who sample fallen fruit that has fermented in the sun, pass out and don't make it home.

"They are not just eating our grapes, they are raiding our kitchens and ripping the thatch off the roofs. They are becoming increasingly bold and destructive," said Jean Naude, general manager at the vineyard, which is celebrating its 325th birthday this year. Guards banging sticks and waving plastic snakes have been deployed with only limited success, and not even a blast of a vuvuzela, the plastic horn made famous at the World Cup, seems to frighten them.

It is not just the vineyards in South Africa which are under siege, however, but also the exclusive neighbouring suburb of Constantia, home to famous residents including Earl Spencer, Wilbur Smith and Nelson Mandela.

Crisis meetings between animal welfare groups and traumatised locals are struggling to find a workable solution.

"Where there's a mountain, there's a baboon," said Justin O'Riain of the Baboon Research Unit at the University of Cape Town. "As we take up more and more of their land, the conflict increases."

[nickcarraway]

"You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here...

[2banana]

How about serving baboons stew with the wine...

[Snardius]

Just by changing a few words and the location, this story could very well be about the boat club I belong to...

[nickcarraway]

“Hi, I’m Joe, and I’m a baboon...”

[mmercier]

black bears in the northeast get drunk from eating old apples in the late fall.

they are scary, but funny as all hell to watch.

from distance.

[nickcarraway]

Let me guess: At your boat club, you’s change the word, “baboons,” to the word, “yuppies?”

[jessduntno]

“A few, who sample fallen fruit that has fermented in the sun, pass out and don’t make it home.”

I hate it when that happens.

[Hot Tabasco]

Nothing worse than an obnoxious drunk monkey.......
If you’ve ever wondered why they never get invited to parties, now you know.

[taildragger]

As a former resident of Massachuetts, I ain't touching this one :-)....

[dfwgator]

Drunk Baboons Plague Cape Town's Exclusive Suburbs

[Slings and Arrows]

Now you know what Kennedys reincarnate as.

[dennisw]

All looters will be shot...Including baboons.

[JRios1968]

“I don’t always drink beer...”

[bt579]

[PowderMonkey]

"PUT 'EM ON THE ENDANGERED SPECIES LIST!"

[TheOldLady]

Now you know what Kennedys reincarnate as.

Oh, so that's why I've always hated monkeys.

Yes, yes. I love snakes, beetles, cats, lions, possums, raccoons, birds, duck-billed platypuses, camels, lynx, bears, foxes, bugs, horses, geese, elands (my favorite), dogs, spiders, armadillos, leopards, and cows, to name a few, but I really don't like monkeys. And clowns.

[Snardius]

Let me guess: At your boat club, you’s change the word, “baboons,” to the word, “yuppies?”

Actually no..."baboons" accurately describe some of them once the've got "a little Captain in them"...

[freedomlover]

A little .223 tonic would fix that problem nicely.

[Clay Moore]

[Clay Moore]

[mmichaels1970]

Drunk Baboons Plague Cape Town's Exclusive Suburbs

The World Cup is back so soon?

[Slings and Arrows]

So what do you have against baboons?

[Slings and Arrows]

Monkeys are a little creepy. Apes rock, though.

[Little Ray]

Ya know, a few guys with varmint rifles would be happy to fix this for them. All they’d have to do is pay for ammo and accomodations.

[Slings and Arrows]

I really don't like monkeys. And clowns.

Most clowns, sure. But a brave few...

[TheOldLady]

Ew. Brave but still creepy. That isn’t Tim Curry, is it?

[Some Fat Guy in L.A.]

There was an old (80’s maybe) HBO movie called “Animals Are Beautiful People”. It was a humorous documentary about animal life in southwest Africa, particularly the Namib Desert. My favorite scene shows a bunch af animals (baboons, elephants, etc.) eating fermented fruit, then partying the night away. The morning after scene is hilarious.

[Eaker]

but I really don't like monkeys. And clowns.

Now we know why you are so mean to gunner!

[humblegunner]

Now we know why you are so mean to gunner!

In the interests of accuracy, I AM a couple of steps up from monkeys.

Clowns are another matter entirely.

[Grizzled Bear]

"They are not just eating our grapes, they are raiding our kitchens and ripping the thatch off the roofs. They are becoming increasingly bold and destructive," said Jean Naude...

Oh, so they're acting like progressive-liberals.

[Grizzled Bear]

What have you got against Wombats?

Darks, TheOldLady is dissing the Wombats.

[Eaker]

I’m going to have to side with Eaker on this .............

[TheOldLady]

Now we know why you are so mean to gunner!

But he said he liked those whips and chains.

[TheOldLady]

I love wombats, as Darksheare well knows. I just forgot to mention them, so they fall into “among others.” I forgot the zombie deer too. Are you going to break my arm for that too? Meanie. ;-)

I’m old; I forget stuff.

[Grizzled Bear]

You love Wombats? That's wonderful! Perhaps you might know how to get custard stains off of Wombat armor. Wombats are notoriously messy eaters; but they do love their dessert!

[SunkenCiv]

“I remember that topic well, I think it’s the one where we all got banned for life.”

Thanks nickcarraway.

[TheOldLady]

What kind of wombat armor are you wearing? I would suggest a new armorer so that you can get a better set, and then you won't have to ask for cleaning tips from and old lady. ;-p

And this precious little thing doesn't look too messy to me.

[STD]

I think this might just be the perfect set-up line ever? Gasp

The victory of the ANC, Nelson & Winnie Mandela's revolution has reached it's final objective today after it was reported that Drunken Baboons Plague Cape Town's Exclusive Suburbs

[SunkenCiv]

http://www.styreta.com/Pics/Posters/racial-stereotypes-demotivational-poster.jpg

[Henchster]

If you love wombats, I'm sure you have a 1970 Hodaka Combat Wombat:

[TheOldLady]

Ooooh, ouch. No. I have a 1982 Suzuki GS1100. Hubby has a 1982 Katana, a “1979” Dunstall Norton (new construct from older bikes — California motorcycle registration rules called it a “1979”), and a spare Norton for parts.

I don’t ride anymore because of my arthritis.

[Impy]

Just wait till try crack. Then they’ll think they can come to American and run for President.

[Arthur Wildfire! March]

“Just wait till try crack.”

ROFL! Good one! [The rest was funny, too.]

[Yardstick]

Have they not tried appeasement yet?

[blackie]

0bama voter??

[AGreatPer]

I was playing golf in Cape Town a few years ago.
It was amazing why with a hundred or so monkeys lining each fairway I was amazed they didn't touch the golf balls.
I had to ask, "Why don't they touch the golf balls?"
Answer from the caddy: "After you shoot 30,000 of them they sort of get the message".

[Arthur Wildfire! March]

And ACORN workers.

[MinorityRepublican]

lol