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The worst gifts ever
MSN.com ^ | By Sean Fallon

Posted on 12/24/2010 11:55:18 AM PST by metesky

Underpants for the hands and other unspeakables among the holiday horrors for presents...

(Excerpt) Read more at msnbc.msn.com ...


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: getonetoday; itsnottoolate; merrychristmas
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That neighbor or relative that thinks you're an asshat? Prove you're not by sending them one of these thoughtful, tasteful gift selections.
1 posted on 12/24/2010 11:55:22 AM PST by metesky
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To: Madame Dufarge

Look under the tree in the morning, Honey.


2 posted on 12/24/2010 11:56:57 AM PST by metesky (My retirement fund is holding steady @ $.05 a can.)
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To: metesky
Not to be all anal or anything,but I believe the Victorian term for undergarments was “unmentionables.”

But then Queen Victoria smoked pot for menstrual cramps and criminalized only male homosex because she insisted lesbianism was impossible.

3 posted on 12/24/2010 12:01:13 PM PST by Happy Rain ("Every Christmas the Leftist atheists become "hatetheists.")
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To: metesky

Shake Weight {{{TeeHee}}}}

The South Park episode “Creme Fraiche” destroyed them...
Every time I see the shake weight commercials - I crack up......


4 posted on 12/24/2010 12:01:37 PM PST by libertarian27 (Ingsoc: Department of Life, Department of Liberty, Department of Happiness)
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To: metesky
You peeked!

Jerk.


5 posted on 12/24/2010 12:01:47 PM PST by Madame Dufarge
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To: Happy Rain

For HRH anyway...


6 posted on 12/24/2010 12:04:42 PM PST by metesky (My retirement fund is holding steady @ $.05 a can.)
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To: metesky

Obozo and Forrest Biden in 2008.


7 posted on 12/24/2010 12:05:54 PM PST by DarthVader (That which supports Barack Hussein Obama must be sterilized and there are NO exceptions!)
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To: DarthVader
Hey, this is a joke thread!

Oh... never mind.

8 posted on 12/24/2010 12:13:57 PM PST by metesky (My retirement fund is holding steady @ $.05 a can.)
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To: metesky
Meaning perhaps being the only “queen” not to be hit on by deviants may somewhat explain her amazingly influential eccentricities?
9 posted on 12/24/2010 12:14:09 PM PST by Happy Rain ("Every Christmas the Leftist atheists become "hatetheists.")
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To: metesky

A real laser light saber? Seems like a practical gift to unwrap those blister packed items in style.

10 posted on 12/24/2010 12:17:51 PM PST by DeFault User
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To: Madame Dufarge

Wow, do they make an edible version of those?


11 posted on 12/24/2010 12:19:07 PM PST by equaviator ("There's a (datum) plane on the horizon coming in...see it?")
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To: equaviator
You have to upgrade to "Deluxe."

Maybe next year.

12 posted on 12/24/2010 12:21:40 PM PST by Madame Dufarge
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To: equaviator
Wow, do they make an edible version of those?

Yeah, but it's bacon strip flavored.

13 posted on 12/24/2010 12:23:44 PM PST by digger48
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To: metesky
Maybe I'm just sort of twisted (OK, there's really no "maybe" there), but I think this is hilarious:


14 posted on 12/24/2010 12:26:35 PM PST by Allegra (I painted red and green stripes on my biceps.)
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To: metesky

Handerpants

I’m still laffing...


15 posted on 12/24/2010 12:26:53 PM PST by Paisan
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To: metesky

Every year I get something useless from one sister and bro-in-law.........I now come to expect it. Just once I’d like to get a tool of some sort, even if I might already have one.


16 posted on 12/24/2010 12:29:52 PM PST by Hot Tabasco (There's only one cure for Obamarrhea......)
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To: metesky

...I was almost tempted to get their grand-kids a drum set or some loud obnoxious toy this year.


17 posted on 12/24/2010 12:31:21 PM PST by Hot Tabasco (There's only one cure for Obamarrhea......)
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To: Madame Dufarge
The only way you get skid marks on those skivvies is if you run out of TP.

Now other stains—well, the possibilities are many as the single and/or collective manual contact with sundry human or animal bodily fluids are damn near endless.

18 posted on 12/24/2010 12:32:22 PM PST by Happy Rain ("Every Christmas the Leftist atheists become "hatetheists.")
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To: Hot Tabasco
Tools? My motto has always been "two of each".

Although my pocketbook hasn't always allowed me to live up to my motto.

19 posted on 12/24/2010 12:33:19 PM PST by metesky (My retirement fund is holding steady @ $.05 a can.)
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To: DeFault User
> ...unwrap those blister packed items in style.

Not to mention, defending your still-wrapped presents from your little sister or brother.... :-)

"Lemme unwrap one...!"

"BACK OR I'LL SHOOT!"

"Aw c'mon, lemme do this one..."

ZZZZAAAPPPPP!!!

"AAARRRRGGGGGHHH!!!!"

Ah, the Christmas spirit... :-)

20 posted on 12/24/2010 12:34:04 PM PST by dayglored (Listen, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government!)
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To: metesky
Worst Gift From SNL
21 posted on 12/24/2010 12:36:20 PM PST by edpc (It's Kräusened)
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To: Allegra
I bet if momma was to wash your mouth out with those you wouldn't cuss.
22 posted on 12/24/2010 12:36:24 PM PST by Happy Rain ("Every Christmas the Leftist atheists become "hatetheists.")
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To: Happy Rain
As with any high-quality item, the user must approach with respect and strive for a level of proficiency.

Or cover with Saran Wrap.

23 posted on 12/24/2010 12:37:30 PM PST by Madame Dufarge
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To: Hot Tabasco
Every year I get something useless from one sister and bro-in-law

Yeah, one year I got the -coffee filter dispenser- and the sad thing was, they really thought it was the greatest thing since sliced bread.

24 posted on 12/24/2010 12:39:42 PM PST by GunsAndBibles (All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing)
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To: metesky; a fool in paradise
Solution:


25 posted on 12/24/2010 12:43:54 PM PST by Revolting cat! (Let us prey!)
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To: metesky

One year, my mother ‘gave’ my dad a large wooden Coventry Candle... you know, the wooden ones with candles that spin..

Dad REFUSED to accept it, and we ALL had agood laugh!


26 posted on 12/24/2010 12:45:48 PM PST by SomeCallMeTim
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To: metesky
The worst gift, hands down, is that iPod loaded with his speeches that Obama gave the Queen!
27 posted on 12/24/2010 12:46:45 PM PST by SonOfDarkSkies
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To: Happy Rain
The only way you get skid marks on those skivvies is if you run out of TP.

Well then, Sheryl Crow might find them useful...

28 posted on 12/24/2010 12:48:08 PM PST by Allegra (I painted red and green stripes on my biceps.)
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To: metesky
Image and video hosting by TinyPic
29 posted on 12/24/2010 12:52:44 PM PST by death2tyrants
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To: metesky

The worst is forgetting the reason for the season....


30 posted on 12/24/2010 12:58:48 PM PST by Dallas59 (President Robert Gibbs 2009-2013)
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To: Happy Rain
But then Queen Victoria smoked pot for menstrual cramps...

One of the reasons why libertarians are so hepped up on drug-law repeal is because there were no drug laws when laissez-faire ran high. None.

Regarding opiates, Paul Johnson noted in Birth of the Modern that the typical clientele for liquid opium were middle-class women of a certain age. Incredible as it sounds now, there may have been Woman's Christian Temperence Movement meeting where the party favor was lanaudum.

Bizarre, I know, but it shows how profoundly times have changed. To make the scene even more bizarre, such women would not have been hypcrites by the lights of the time. No social ills accompanied opium use back then, unlike alcohol back then.

Merry Speculative History Day.

31 posted on 12/24/2010 12:59:58 PM PST by danielmryan
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To: Dallas59
Merry Christmas!
32 posted on 12/24/2010 1:01:09 PM PST by metesky (My retirement fund is holding steady @ $.05 a can.)
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To: Allegra
LOL!

Merry Christmas, Allegra.

Take care of yourself out there.

33 posted on 12/24/2010 1:13:28 PM PST by Churchillspirit (9/11/01...NEVER FORGET.)
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To: SonOfDarkSkies
The worst gift, hands down, is that iPod loaded with his speeches that Obama gave the Queen!

Followed closely by the bunch of DVDs he gave PM Brown - who is legally blind.

34 posted on 12/24/2010 1:23:28 PM PST by Churchillspirit (9/11/01...NEVER FORGET.)
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To: danielmryan
In John Wayne's last movie,”The Shootist” his character guzzled laudanum to offset the pain of his terminal cancer.
It was not a prescription but a recommendation by Doctor Jimmy Stewart.
35 posted on 12/24/2010 1:29:35 PM PST by Happy Rain ("Every Christmas the Leftist atheists become "hatetheists.")
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To: Churchillspirit; SonOfDarkSkies

IIRC, the DVDs weren’t even for the right region.


36 posted on 12/24/2010 1:37:47 PM PST by Huntress (Who the hell are you to tell me what's in my best interests?)
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To: Happy Rain
Yeah...times really change.

I think what pushed things over the edge was the introduction of heroin in 1898. It proved to be too strong and too addictive.

Bayer Company sold both. Strangely, there was more hope for heroin as a "wonder drug" than for aspirin. If you love history, you gotta love irony.

37 posted on 12/24/2010 1:41:05 PM PST by danielmryan
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To: Huntress

LOL. You are correct. Wouldn’t even play in the UK.


38 posted on 12/24/2010 1:44:47 PM PST by Churchillspirit (9/11/01...NEVER FORGET.)
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To: danielmryan
Heroin addicts,if affluent and thus assured of a clean and easily acquired “product” can live long and healthy lives as the drug posseses no true toxic properties other than the addiction itself.
But the opiates,like THC,often makes the users too content and thus uninterested in industrious pursuits so they tend to become entitlement junkies and thus solid liberal Democrat voters.

Reasons enough to make drug crimes capital offenses don't you think?

39 posted on 12/24/2010 2:03:20 PM PST by Happy Rain ("Every Christmas the Leftist atheists become "hatetheists.")
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To: Huntress; Churchillspirit
I can forgive narcissism, particularly when it has some basis in excellent performance, but malicious tackiness and tastelessness...never!

And Obama isn't just a pathological narcissist without any apparent justification for such...he's tacky and tasteless in a mean-spirited kind of way.

When he returned the Churchill bust, I wanted to kick his teeth in and snap his skinny neck...in a nice way, of course.;-)

40 posted on 12/24/2010 2:05:01 PM PST by SonOfDarkSkies (Liberalism is evil hiding being a specious ideology!)
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To: Happy Rain
THC is the active chemical in weed, nowhere near an opiate.

But nice attempt at thread highjacking, spud.

41 posted on 12/24/2010 2:16:53 PM PST by metesky (My retirement fund is holding steady @ $.05 a can.)
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To: Happy Rain
But the opiates,like THC,often makes the users too content and thus uninterested in industrious pursuits so they tend to become entitlement junkies and thus solid liberal Democrat voters.

There you go: in the nineteenth century, there were no entitlments to speak of - only private charity and, at most, city payments. Anyone ending up "uninterested in industrial pursuits" either had to go to the frontier or would be set straight fairly quickly.

Reasons enough to make drug crimes capital offenses don't you think?

By deporting 'em to Cuba?

42 posted on 12/24/2010 2:17:41 PM PST by danielmryan
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To: metesky
I know opiates and THC are not the same—I said opiates,like THC—not opiates such as THC.

My bad,perhaps,for poor composition—your bad for misunderstanding a clear point.

43 posted on 12/24/2010 2:31:45 PM PST by Happy Rain ("Every Christmas the Leftist atheists become "hatetheists.")
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To: libertarian27

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mYfDnc42wog


44 posted on 12/24/2010 2:46:25 PM PST by ErnBatavia (It's not the Obama Administration....it's the "Obama Regime".)
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To: Happy Rain; Madame Dufarge; metesky

Last physical, my doc said he’d like urine, stool and semen samples.....so I just left him my skivvies.


45 posted on 12/24/2010 2:49:42 PM PST by ErnBatavia (It's not the Obama Administration....it's the "Obama Regime".)
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To: ErnBatavia

Too......much.....information. :-)


46 posted on 12/24/2010 2:56:58 PM PST by Madame Dufarge
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To: DeFault User
I thought I was the only one that cussed out they packages. Also company's have to put so much on packages, the print is so small, I get out a large magnifying glass to real the directions....yuk
47 posted on 12/24/2010 3:08:51 PM PST by goat granny (Great dad's are a blessing to son's but more so to daughters...)
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To: SonOfDarkSkies
Actually, in a way, I'm glad "Churchill" is not witnessing the goings-on in the Oval Office these days.

I hope the UK will return it when a genuine American presides there again.

48 posted on 12/24/2010 3:34:12 PM PST by Churchillspirit (9/11/01...NEVER FORGET.)
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To: Hot Tabasco
Sure you want a tool?


49 posted on 12/24/2010 5:30:47 PM PST by ApplegateRanch (Mohammad: the earliest documented pedophile "priest"...and he was proud of it.)
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To: metesky

50 posted on 12/24/2010 5:48:44 PM PST by Doomonyou (Let them eat Lead.)
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