Posted on 02/16/2011 9:31:50 AM PST by JamesP81
I don't really have anybody I can talk to about this that would understand. I don't expect FR too either, but it's as good a place as any to vent.
You know what I do? I get up every day and go to work. I do my job and get my work done. I come home. I do it again the next day. And then again, and again, and again.
When I am dead, the most anyone will ever say about me is "he went to work ever day". If I were to simply drop dead, everything would pretty much be as if I had never lived. I have accomplished nothing noteworthy and I don't expect to. When my life is over with, the world will not be a better place, no one's lives will have been improved, and the evil that lives in the world will not have been pushed back.
This leaves me feeling....sick inside my soul. As if something is very, very wrong. The only thing I really look forward to is burying myself in the mundane of the normal to the degree that I do not think about these things. By and large this works, but some days I take my head out of the sand, and the result of that is days like today.
I've tried many things. When I was in school, I spent time every week in a nursing home. It did the folks there good to see anybody. But it did not fill the void. I am a blackbelt in karate and used to exercise a lot. It was good for me, but it did not fill the void. I have good friends, but I don't see them as much as I used to. We're all out of college, have jobs, and some have kids now. But even during the heyday of college, I couldn't fill the void with other people. I have hobbies. They're fun, but they leave me empty. I don't want to drop everything and be a drifter, but I don't want to sit still. I am not into carousing and having casual sex with whatever comes along. Never have been, and I'm fairly certain it would make me feel worse. I am a Christian; I do not speak to God as much as I should, but I do at times. He is supposed to have purpose for me, but I don't know what it is. I hope He has something for me other than work 9-5 until I'm dead.
A lot of people will say that your purpose is what you make of it. Every bit of evidence and observation I have tells me that's true. Yet I don't believe it, and never have.
In before "man up you wuss".
God has a purpose for your life. JESUS is at the door. Open it. Remember to do everything. EVERYTHING as if you were doing for the Lord. Get into His Word and stay in daily fellowship with Him. Things will change in your life.
Sure, or something like it. Fear of women.
1936. I would have been around for old time radio, pulp magazines, and 10-cent comic books.
Awesome.
Several months ago someone close to me was Baker Acted because his “I don’t care” attitude turned suicidal. The results of his blood work revealed that he needed Vit B-12 (500mcg), Vit D (1000iu), and Omega 3 Fish Oil (1000mg).
Taking those three little pills daily has made a world of difference!
Sorry to keep chiming in, but I really relate to you. Things are better now.
I, too, was an old-school romantic (still am in many ways).
Again, we have to get out of self, keep expectations reasonable, put God above all else, be useful, and forget about all that Oprah “find yourself, know yourself, etc” crap.
Life is not like the movies or romance novels, and happiness is not the loftiest ideal.
Seek God, and you will know truth. And you will be content in your own skin, no matter what your present circumstances.
It hasn't worked for me, but that's, I suppose, my problem, my circumstances. In dire straits still.
No matter how bad things seem, someone is feeling worse.....Imagine being a Detroit Lions fan.
“He is supposed to have purpose for me, but I don’t know what it is. I hope He has something for me other than work 9-5 until I’m dead. “
God gave you a brain so you could find a purpose for yourself and give Him credit later if you feel like it. There will be no epiphany from God, despite what many will tell you, and you can wait a lifetime waiting for one.
If you are 29, have worked a productive job for a while, and have a little nest egg - well the world is your oyster.
The only suggestion I’d have is to travel someplace or places and see how other folks live - to some other country preferably.
You may find that you have a different perspective and appreciation for what you see now as a boring life.
If you don’t have an exciting enough/meaningful enough life - it’s not God’s fault, not anybody elses fault - it’s yours.
Remember this time, you may look back at it fondly should you be blessed with teenage daughters one day in the future.
You are correct.
My dogs do know how whacky I am, and yet the love me unconditionally (well, as long as I feed them).
There is an old hymnal that goes, "Count your blessings, name them one by one. Count your blessings, see what God has done....". Try to take a minute and just do that and contemplate how he has blessed you. I can see that one thing he has blessed you with is a lot of FReeper friends that care about you, of which I am one. - OB1
Very well said, mancini.
In my experience, God has denied me those things that I put before Him and refused to let go of.
Once I let go, He ALWAYS had something better in store.
This is just how FReepers are. They are just about the kindest, most caring group of people around. The media and the left (OK... I know... That was redundant) describe us as ogres who eat small children, but I've never seen a thread like this fail to get dozens if not hundreds of compassionate responses.
Welcome to life.
If you feel this way as a Christian, then I don’t think there’s anything anyone could do or say to make you feel any different.
You’re very young. The times ahead are certain to be a challenge, and preserving freedom will require everyone to play a part. You may very well be called upon to leave a legacy.
But you have to take care of yourself first. If that means seeking help, by all means do so.
Get a hobby, sign up for match.com, take some St. Johns Wart, plan a vegetable garden for the Spring, start shooting regularly. Just a few ideas.
A couple of suggestions: when I'm feeling *down* one of the best/quickest fixes I can get is to go to the range and shoot a bunch of targets. I always come out feeling better.
Got a pet? Can you have one where you live? Perhaps an adoption is a possibility. Even a couple of goldfish aren't a big bother.
Good luck to you!
An Ass Always Gets What He Brays For
bttt
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