Skip to comments.TomTom GO 700 Automotive GPS Receiver (Ebay ad with a storyline)
Posted on 09/24/2011 4:06:47 AM PDT by tlb
You are bidding on a TomTom Go 700
This was my wife's, may her knicker draw be infested with the fleas of a thousand Camels...
The Go 700 was once the top of the range Sat Nav from TomTom, with an internal Hard Disk Drive instead of the traditional SD Card, and had full Bluetooth and Wireless capabilities.
I bought this for the back-stabbing harlot, some four or five years ago, before she met Nigel with the Little Penis, and it cost me over £400... As bless her cheating little heart, she gets lost driving out of the street...perhaps without this she would never have found the way to Nigels door, nor perhaps his stain riddled bed...
Her infidelity was discovered when I took her car for an MOT, and while waiting, I was tinkering with the Sat Nav and noticed that all her recent journeys had all been to Nigel's... So, like any normal human, I reprogrammed Nigel's address to one in a town far far away...
My wife bless her treacherous ways, didn't realise there was anything amiss until she was driving East along the M4.
She then tried to act all innocent and lying through her cherry red venemous snake lips, asked if I could sort out her beloved TomTom as something was terribly wrong with it: when she used it to drive to her sisters it took her along the M4.
I presume her sister means Nigel with the erectile problems...
With the anger of the betrayed I said I would, but my frustration and anger caused me to accidently delete all the files from the internal drive instead...
Words were spoken, accusations were made... The air hung heavy and was coloured blue with profanity... I find it difficult to believe her claims that this is all my fault... I wasn't the one getting lost while travelling to Pencil Dick Nigel's house...
After much arguing she has decided her future lies in the squallor of Nigel's cockroach infested hovell... Good luck to them both... may the ten plagues of Egypt visit their stained adulterous bed...
I now have her TomTom Go 700 but have no idea how to reinstall the software, and really I don't want the reminder of the cheating, lying, heartless, creature of the night. All the other accessories are still in her car, so I hope they are happy living at Nigels together.
Therefore this auction is just for the TomTom Go 700 itself...
I'm sure someone somewhere can make this work...
As an after thought... There is no returns for this...I really don't want it back...
The auction Starts at a low but fair £20 and all proceeds will go to taking me out on a bloody good night with copious amounts of alcahol, wine, women, and song...and if the price is right...maybe a curry to boot...
So please bid with confidence that all proceeds are for a very worthy cause...
Oh and Postage is for UK only So anywhere else contact me for a price to anywhere else...
I bet Nigel is going to bid on it....or offer a swap (snort)
I saw something like this coming, a mile away. Tom-Tom would have told him, “Turn around and go back when possible.” If he’d really had a sense of humo(u)r he would have programmed Nigel’s house to be in Brixton or a run-down no-tell motel.
some funny ad.
Or a cliff, as close as some people have been known to follow these computerized direction systems.
I find I can get around quite well with a map.
Talk about going viral on the Internet - this one is taking off! Most entertaining thing I’ve read here for a long time!
Hey, tlb, some ladies are not worth keeping, ya know? But thanks for posting this.
After tropical storm Irene blew through Vermont several of our main routes were destroyed. Of course the state road crews set up barriers to keep people from driving down the destroyed roads. That didn't stop a woman from Mass. from driving around the barriers and off the edge of the destroyed road. Fortunately she wasn't hurt but how stupid could someone be?
She’s the woman who needs to know which computer key is ‘any key’.
She is what is referred to in computer jargon as problem ID-ten-t.
I think it is safe to assume that you have never driven in Boston, then. I love my Tom-Tom for any number of reasons. I like to bring a map too, of course.
Massholes voted 0bama 62%, McLame 36%, so statistically speaking she has a two in three chance of being extremely stupid.
On the other hand that’s a lot of attitude from a guy who couldn’t keep his lady.
Some “ladies” aren’t worth keeping.
She wanted a boyfriend with a future in British steel.
Dave is a bit bitter. His harlot wife is the laughingstock of the interwebs.
And Nigel, let's not forget Nigel and his...attributes.
You know, I just can't get into this modern music. It lacks something.
Stupid enough to program her boy toy in her Tom Tom.
Wow! Now there's an obscure song. I had to actually think about that for a second. ::golf clap::
I knew I could count on you.
Sorry for the delayed reply!
I’ve been working hard, and recently spent four days in Tampa for a friend’s wedding. It was beautiful and I didn’t want to come back to North Cackalacky!
Sometimes you just need a break. Looks like Martin will be out here for the balloon fiesta.
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