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TomTom GO 700 Automotive GPS Receiver (Ebay ad with a storyline)
eBay ^ | Sep 23, 2011 | dave200661

Posted on 09/24/2011 4:06:47 AM PDT by tlb

You are bidding on a TomTom Go 700

This was my wife's, may her knicker draw be infested with the fleas of a thousand Camels...

The Go 700 was once the top of the range Sat Nav from TomTom, with an internal Hard Disk Drive instead of the traditional SD Card, and had full Bluetooth and Wireless capabilities.

I bought this for the back-stabbing harlot, some four or five years ago, before she met Nigel with the Little Penis, and it cost me over £400... As bless her cheating little heart, she gets lost driving out of the street...perhaps without this she would never have found the way to Nigels door, nor perhaps his stain riddled bed...

Her infidelity was discovered when I took her car for an MOT, and while waiting, I was tinkering with the Sat Nav and noticed that all her recent journeys had all been to Nigel's... So, like any normal human, I reprogrammed Nigel's address to one in a town far far away...

My wife bless her treacherous ways, didn't realise there was anything amiss until she was driving East along the M4.

She then tried to act all innocent and lying through her cherry red venemous snake lips, asked if I could sort out her beloved TomTom as something was terribly wrong with it: when she used it to drive to her sisters it took her along the M4.

I presume her sister means Nigel with the erectile problems...

With the anger of the betrayed I said I would, but my frustration and anger caused me to accidently delete all the files from the internal drive instead...

Words were spoken, accusations were made... The air hung heavy and was coloured blue with profanity... I find it difficult to believe her claims that this is all my fault... I wasn't the one getting lost while travelling to Pencil Dick Nigel's house...

After much arguing she has decided her future lies in the squallor of Nigel's cockroach infested hovell... Good luck to them both... may the ten plagues of Egypt visit their stained adulterous bed...

I now have her TomTom Go 700 but have no idea how to reinstall the software, and really I don't want the reminder of the cheating, lying, heartless, creature of the night. All the other accessories are still in her car, so I hope they are happy living at Nigels together.

Therefore this auction is just for the TomTom Go 700 itself...

I'm sure someone somewhere can make this work...

As an after thought... There is no returns for this...I really don't want it back...

The auction Starts at a low but fair £20 and all proceeds will go to taking me out on a bloody good night with copious amounts of alcahol, wine, women, and song...and if the price is right...maybe a curry to boot...

So please bid with confidence that all proceeds are for a very worthy cause...

Good Luck

Oh and Postage is for UK only So anywhere else contact me for a price to anywhere else...


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Computers/Internet; Humor; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: ebay; harlot; napl; reparations; tomtom
88,000 views. On the other hand that's a lot of attitude from a guy who couldn't keep his lady.
1 posted on 09/24/2011 4:06:54 AM PDT by tlb
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To: tlb

I bet Nigel is going to bid on it....or offer a swap (snort)


2 posted on 09/24/2011 4:14:46 AM PDT by ZinGirl
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To: tlb

I saw something like this coming, a mile away. Tom-Tom would have told him, “Turn around and go back when possible.” If he’d really had a sense of humo(u)r he would have programmed Nigel’s house to be in Brixton or a run-down no-tell motel.


3 posted on 09/24/2011 4:17:57 AM PDT by Lonesome in Massachussets (Ceterum autem censeo, Obama delenda est.)
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To: definitelynotaliberal

some funny ad.


4 posted on 09/24/2011 4:18:59 AM PDT by Loud Mime (The voters are dumber than you think)
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To: Lonesome in Massachussets

Or a cliff, as close as some people have been known to follow these computerized direction systems.

I find I can get around quite well with a map.


5 posted on 09/24/2011 4:26:11 AM PDT by Jonty30
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To: tlb
Breaking Up is Hard to Do
6 posted on 09/24/2011 4:30:42 AM PDT by PowderMonkey (WILL WORK FOR AMMO)
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To: tlb

Talk about going viral on the Internet - this one is taking off! Most entertaining thing I’ve read here for a long time!

Hey, tlb, some ladies are not worth keeping, ya know? But thanks for posting this.


7 posted on 09/24/2011 4:38:34 AM PDT by expat1000
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To: Jonty30
Or a cliff, as close as some people have been known to follow these computerized direction systems.

After tropical storm Irene blew through Vermont several of our main routes were destroyed. Of course the state road crews set up barriers to keep people from driving down the destroyed roads. That didn't stop a woman from Mass. from driving around the barriers and off the edge of the destroyed road. Fortunately she wasn't hurt but how stupid could someone be?

8 posted on 09/24/2011 4:44:40 AM PDT by Straight Vermonter (Posting from deep behind the Maple Curtain)
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To: Straight Vermonter

She’s the woman who needs to know which computer key is ‘any key’.

She is what is referred to in computer jargon as problem ID-ten-t.


9 posted on 09/24/2011 4:53:02 AM PDT by Jonty30
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To: Jonty30
I find I can get around quite well with a map.

I think it is safe to assume that you have never driven in Boston, then. I love my Tom-Tom for any number of reasons. I like to bring a map too, of course.

10 posted on 09/24/2011 4:57:39 AM PDT by Lonesome in Massachussets (Ceterum autem censeo, Obama delenda est.)
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To: Straight Vermonter
That didn't stop a woman from Mass. from driving around the barriers and off the edge of the destroyed road. Fortunately she wasn't hurt but how stupid could someone be?

Massholes voted 0bama 62%, McLame 36%, so statistically speaking she has a two in three chance of being extremely stupid.

11 posted on 09/24/2011 5:27:48 AM PDT by from occupied ga (your own government is your most dangerous enemy)
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To: Slings and Arrows; tlb
Ping

Bid

12 posted on 09/24/2011 5:40:10 AM PDT by Titan Magroyne (What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.)
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To: tlb

funny story

HHC’s husband


13 posted on 09/24/2011 5:43:05 AM PDT by hellinahandcart
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To: tlb

On the other hand that’s a lot of attitude from a guy who couldn’t keep his lady.

Some “ladies” aren’t worth keeping.


14 posted on 09/24/2011 6:00:07 AM PDT by freedomfiter2 (Brutal acts of commission and yawning acts of omission both strengthen the hand of the devil.)
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To: Constitution Day

She wanted a boyfriend with a future in British steel.


15 posted on 09/24/2011 6:15:45 AM PDT by Tijeras_Slim
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To: tlb

Dave is a bit bitter. His harlot wife is the laughingstock of the interwebs.


16 posted on 09/24/2011 6:18:48 AM PDT by netmilsmom (Happiness is a choice)
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To: netmilsmom
His harlot wife is the laughingstock of the interwebs.

And Nigel, let's not forget Nigel and his...attributes.

:-)

17 posted on 09/24/2011 6:38:02 AM PDT by RikaStrom (Pray for Obama - Psalm 109:8 "Let his days be few; and let another take his place of leadership.")
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To: Jonty30
She’s the woman who needs to know which computer key is ‘any key’.

I've always thought, in a funny way, but in "feature is needed" kind of way too, that, somebody needs to create a keyboard that includes the "any key", even if it's out of the way of the rest of the useful keys, and it should be brightly colored so that, it's easily found for those times when "press 'any key'" to "resume" (or something like that is offered as an option).
18 posted on 09/24/2011 8:40:25 AM PDT by adorno (<)
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To: Titan Magroyne; MeekOneGOP; Conspiracy Guy; DocRock; King Prout; Darksheare; OSHA; martin_fierro; ..
All the good jokes have already been made, so I'll just add some theme music.


19 posted on 09/24/2011 10:26:07 AM PDT by Slings and Arrows (You can't have Ingsoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
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To: Slings and Arrows
Your Cheating .... TomTom GO 700 Automotive GPS Receiver, will tell on you.

You know, I just can't get into this modern music. It lacks something.

20 posted on 09/24/2011 11:35:55 AM PDT by Harmless Teddy Bear (Can we ask questions which God finds unanswerable? Easily. All nonsense questions are unanswerable.)
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To: Straight Vermonter
how stupid could someone be?

Stupid enough to program her boy toy in her Tom Tom.

21 posted on 09/24/2011 11:41:47 AM PDT by Lady Jag (Notice how the Democrat party is all Democratic now)
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To: Tijeras_Slim
She wanted a boyfriend with a future in British steel.

Wow! Now there's an obscure song. I had to actually think about that for a second. ::golf clap::

22 posted on 09/30/2011 6:17:35 AM PDT by Constitution Day
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To: Constitution Day

I knew I could count on you.


23 posted on 09/30/2011 6:26:53 AM PDT by Tijeras_Slim
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To: Tijeras_Slim

Sorry for the delayed reply!

I’ve been working hard, and recently spent four days in Tampa for a friend’s wedding. It was beautiful and I didn’t want to come back to North Cackalacky!


24 posted on 09/30/2011 6:47:11 AM PDT by Constitution Day
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To: Constitution Day

Sometimes you just need a break. Looks like Martin will be out here for the balloon fiesta.


25 posted on 09/30/2011 6:57:39 AM PDT by Tijeras_Slim
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