Posted on 10/15/2012 10:26:38 AM PDT by Lonesome in Massachussets
Washington The stock market is poised to soar today after the release of a report by the Council of Economic Advisers projecting a major surge in economic activity upon President Obamas reelection in November.
Recent events demonstrate that after the upcoming election, President Obama will finally have the tools needed to jumpstart a robust economic recovery, with significant declines in unemployment, the deficit and national debt, the report states. Until now, the administrations recovery efforts have been stymied by a simple lack of information.
Pressed for details, White House press secretary Jay Carney explained, Until last week, neither the intelligence community nor the Labor Department had told the president and vice president that the unemployment rates been above 7.8 percent for the last 44 months. Had they only known, they wouldve taken some kind of action to lower the rate.
Reached for comment outside a local pharmacy, a grinning Joe Biden confirmed Carneys assessment. The economys in shambles, he giggled. The middle class has been buried over the last four years because the intelligence community and the Treasury Department never told the president and me that weve got a $1.3 trillion deficit and $16 trillion national debt. Look pal, he snarled, had we known, you can bet we wouldve implemented a recovery plan. But no one ever asked us to. Aides to the vice president privately admit that he remains bitter after Langley supposedly incorrectly informed him that President Roosevelt went on television in 1929 to reassure Americans about the state of the economy.
(Excerpt) Read more at nationalreview.com ...
I know several business owners. I have spoken to many others over the last 6 months. All of them agree with the articles in the media. “If ‘Zero’ wins we are letting people go. We have no choice.”
First satire I have seen coming out of NRO. Pretty good.
That's about as likely as me walking to the moon tonight and getting back by dawn!
Is this one of those satire articles?
I didn’t know the National Review ever did satire. Caught me off guard. Very funny once I realized that.
NRO = Now Reading the Onion
Has to be satire. “Lack of information”? LOL. There is no one on Earth with more information at their fingertips than the President of the United States.
Think guns and ammo.
Actually, they do do sarcasm. This one was so obvious that I refrained from adding any tags or warnings. I was sure that anyone who got to the end of the fourth paragraph, the last one I posted, would recognize it.
I think a lot of people read the headline and pulled the trigger. I cannot say that I blame them.
That right there is funny I don’t care who you are. I went to the source link and read the third paragraph again and finally got it!
Hmmmm.. Where’s the ‘satire, humor’ keywords?
Oooops. Sorry, now I see it.
Ha!! Satire.. good one!
I think I can hang on until 2014. After that no matter what happens, it’s lights out. We are all kulaks now.
"...deputy White House press secretary André A. Mitchell"
I'm not sure that's satire.
Yeah I fully expect the lamestream media to go into full protection mode for 0bama and "Bite me" Biden. If 0bama comes out tomorrow night and drools on himself for 90 minutes I'm sure he'll immediately be declared the winner.
I believe they are mocking you, your excellency.
John Hinckley and Charles Manson?
Where is that desk located? Is the Oval Office through the open door? Could this mean he works in the closet next to the Oval Office and keeps the Oval Office desk clean so he can put his feet up on it? (Frankly, I’m surprised to see him at a desk with computer, papers, pencils and other actual implements of WORK. He even has an In Box and Out Box. Color me shocked!)
It’s political rubbish. If they’re correct, the economy would also boom if Romney got elected.
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