Posted on 10/15/2012 11:26:14 AM PDT by subterfuge
Ladies and gentlemen, as you know I’ve been very proud to be your president these last 4 years. Aaand, you know, while I’ve worked as hard between rounds of golf as I possibly could have during these tumultuous times, there simply wasn’t enough time for me to fix all the horrendous things George Bush did to make me inherit the worst economy the U.S. has EVER faced. Some say, ah, that no one man could have repaired all the damage my predecessor had done in 8 years, let alone 4.
The important thing to remember is that none of our economic woes, ah, as a country, were put in place by me. I didn’t do that. I didn’t build that. As a matter of fact, if I could do it all over again, I wouldn’t change a thing. Why is that do you ask? I’ll tell you why, and ah, let me be clear.
Energy costs, and particularly gas prices, needed to ‘necessarily skyrocket.’ That goal was easily achieved by me. America’s enemies hate us more now than ever before and that was no easy feat that I accomplished. I have bowed, apologized, whined and sucked up to every dictator and despot in the free world as few could have. I’m just, ah, really, really great.
Also, to get my signature accomplishment to become reality, even though more than half the country didn’t want it, I twisted arms, cajoled, brow-beat, threatened and lied to anyone who had a different view than mine in order to get the job done. Medical care or, Obama-“care” if you will, named after me, is an important part of the economy that ah, as any decent economist will tell you, needs to be under the control of government—just like in Cuba.
My other main accomplishments are probably too numerous to mention, such as my strengthening unions at the expense of bond-holders and other Americans. Or my yearly NCAA basketball bracket picks that everyone was keenly interested in. And don’t forget my dismantling of the coal industry in favor of green energy at the expense of the middle class and suburbia.
In closing, I have to say I have no regrets. Black unemployment is still close to 20%, the U.S debt has risen to more than $16 trillion, racial disharmony has increased exponentially and the middle class has been buried during my term, according to my esteemed Vice President, Slow Joe Biden. As anyone can see by now, it was never my intention to fix any of those things. In the end ladies and gentlemen, the entire experiment of a hard-core leftist community organizer (me) was a huge success because America Just Got Served, biotches!! OUT! (git cher sh!t Shellie!)
Should have put VANITY in the title. Sorry folks, had to get this one off of my chest.
IF Hussein concedes (Gore NEVER did), then I think we’ll be seeing a lecture to Romney telling Romney what Hussein expects to be done to America.
“Can't we all just get along?”
Or will Obama say
“Burn Baby Burn!”
As I recall, obama himself and the media claimed he was already “governing” the day after the election back in ‘08.
So owebama needs to just stand-down the minute We The People “let him go.” Just go to the local course and let the adults handle things from here on out Barry.
“Social injustice”, “RASISM”, “millionaires and billionaires”.
Mr. All EGO, No Class, will say....
“I’ll be back in 2016 to rescue America from the disaster that is about to befall you!”
“Can't we all just get along?”
Or will Obama say
“Burn Baby Burn
I'd say "Can't we all just get along" is probably way more than we can hope for. "Burn baby Burn" highly likely. Oh, and Pardons for Terrorists, just like Slick Willie!
I half expect him to try to create a new “America Czar”, and name himself to a lifetime post by executive order.
I can only hope they keep anything sharp far away from Matthews when Obama concedes
MSNBC should be a riot to watch
Big Media will ALWAYS refer to him as PRESIDENT Obama, unlike his predecessor who is simply Mr. Bush if they must use his name.
They’ll come up some lofty title for him, too, like “World Advisor”.
Not enough umms, uus, ahwells, I’s, mee’s and Let me make this perfectly clears.
‘s OK! Emailed it out. Hope it goes viral. We can dream!!
My favorite phrase in 2013 will be:
“Former president obuma”.
Very true 5th. It would just be too hard to read if I wrote it exactly as the ONE the world was waiting for actually would say it.
That’s funny!!! I like it!!
Cool. I sent it out too. My e-mail pals send me enough junk already. Now they have something good to send. I added a pic of obama with Big Bird though.
As long as he(on his one last gratis trip on Airforce One out of DC) doesn’t stop to review the troop detail like Billy Boy did!
And, as long as MO doesn’t cram her pockets and luggage with stuff from the WH that WE paid for (Like Evita).
You didn’t put in enough “uhs” or blame enough people.
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