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***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD***

Posted on 02/22/2013 5:33:41 AM PST by Lucky9teen

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To: BenLurkin

A German salesman is on the road visiting his accounts. Typically German, he’s very precise. Not only does he stay in the same hotel in every town, he always requests the same room number. He never deviates!

One day, he arrives in Frankfurt and goes to the Hotel Montana. That’s his Frankfurt regular, as always. And as he checks in, the staff greets him “Welcome back Herr Zimmer! So good to see you again!!”. Herr Zimmer asks for Room 308 - again, his regular room at the Montana. The desk clerk swallows hard. knowing how Herr Zimmer does not like a break from his “specification”.

“Herr Zimmer”, the clerk says, “I have some unfornunate news. Room 308 is not available.”

“Vas!!!!!!”, shouts Zimmer. “I alvays havf room 308. I havf been since 1988 mit out fail. Ven I madt mine room reservation, you said nothingg about 308 being not available. Undt vy is der reeason?!!!”

The clerk again swallows hard. “Herr Zimmer, we apologize. We could not havf planned this. It was an unfornutate, sudden and delicate circumstance vy we couldn’t offer you your regular room. Undt, because of the delicacy, we’d rather not say vy. But, we’d be glad to offer your the manager’s suite - for no extra charge - which is room 408. The view is the same as 308 undt a much more fitting room for a customer as gudt as you!”

Zimmer starts to settle down a bit. And he has a dinner appointment with one of his best customers in minutes so is not really able to quible. After all, they did up grade him and in the virtual same location as 308. He takes the key, drops off his bags in 408 and rushes off to his dinner.

Later that evening, after a few bottles of Mosel and sausages, he comes staggering into the Montana. It’s late and a junior clerk is on the night desk. Out of habit, and being tipsy, Herr Zimmer asks for the key to 308. The clerk, not knowing about the previous discussion gives him the key to 308.

The next morning, the day manager comes to work and is shocked to find Zimmer in 308. He fires the night cllerk on the spot. When Zimmer comes down for breakfast, he intercepts him and starts apologizing over and over.

“Herr Zimmer, did you sleep in 308 last night?”, asks the manager.

Ja! Undt I had a wonderbar sleep! As always!!”, replies Zimmer.

“But, Herr Zimmer,you obviously discovered vy we asked you to use Room 408 this time. Didn’t you notice there vas undt dead voman in derr 308’s bed? ? We havf the moritician komming dis morning”, says the manager,

“Deadt!!!”, exclaims Zimmer. “Mein Godt! I Sot she vas British!!”


61 posted on 02/22/2013 12:01:02 PM PST by llevrok (Keep your arms out. ItÂ’ll make it harder for them to throw a net over you.)
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To: Lucky9teen
RUN BOY RUNS SAYS THE WILD BIRD FOR A MUSHROOM CLOUD IS COMING!
62 posted on 02/22/2013 12:01:48 PM PST by Berlin_Freeper
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To: CSM

http://www.johnspeedie.com/healy/dontknow.wav


63 posted on 02/22/2013 12:05:30 PM PST by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both)
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To: BenLurkin

Oh snap! I’m gonna use that link in many a conference call and as a reply to many a dumb e-mail question.


64 posted on 02/22/2013 12:19:54 PM PST by CSM (Keeper of the Dave Ramsey Ping list. FReepmail me if you want your beeber stuned.)
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To: Arrowhead1952
A young Irish man goes to confession

He admits to the priest, “Father. I have sinned. I had relations with a woman outside of marriage.”

Yes my son. That indeed is a sin. Now tell me, was it Peggy Galligan?

No Father.

Well it must have been that Patricia Fitzpatrick. Now who was it son?!!

Father, I won't say...to protect the girl.

Well then, Seamus. You have indeed sinned and need to give the Holy Mother 5 Hail Mary's.

Thank you Father. I shall not sin again, says the lad.

When he leaves the confessional, his buddy is waiting for him outside. “How’d it go, Seamus? Father O'Brien can be tough!”

Not bad, says Seamus. I admitted to having relations with an unmarried woman. Father gave me 5 Hail Mary's and a couple of leads for dates this Saturday night.

65 posted on 02/22/2013 12:26:34 PM PST by llevrok (Keep your arms out. ItÂ’ll make it harder for them to throw a net over you.)
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To: Berlin_Freeper

66 posted on 02/22/2013 12:33:59 PM PST by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both)
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To: bert

I feel sorry for all the kids that missed out on these REAL cartoons...funny stuff, and I’m an ‘old’ man.


67 posted on 02/22/2013 12:47:48 PM PST by who knows what evil? (G-d saved more animals than people on the ark...www.siameserescue.org.)
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To: bert

I have always wanted the Coyote to catch that little $H!T


68 posted on 02/22/2013 12:49:51 PM PST by verga (A nation divided by Zero!)
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Image and video hosting by TinyPic
69 posted on 02/22/2013 12:52:06 PM PST by EveningStar ("What color is the sky in your world?" -- Frasier Crane)
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To: Lucky9teen
i typed @[033:5]

...my phone texted back and said STFU!

70 posted on 02/22/2013 12:53:47 PM PST by Baynative (Lord, keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth.)
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To: verga
The coyote DID catch the roadrunner once. They ran into a big pipe that got smaller and smaller. When they came out the other end, they were both tiny. They ran back into the pipe. When the emerged from the big end, the roadrunner was normal size but the coyote was still tiny. He quickly wrapped his arms around one of the roadrunner’s legs. Roadrunner looked down and said (in a very deep voice) “BEEP!!! BEEP!!!” Coyote held up a sign that said, “Well I’ve caught him” turned the sign around where it said, “Now what do I do?”
71 posted on 02/22/2013 3:12:41 PM PST by fredhead (I'm not losing my hair, it's just retired and relocating further south.)
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KJJW7EF5aVk


72 posted on 02/22/2013 3:17:03 PM PST by fredhead (I'm not losing my hair, it's just retired and relocating further south.)
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73 posted on 02/22/2013 3:18:58 PM PST by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both)
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To: fredhead

Love it, I had heard rumors over the years, thank you for confirming.


74 posted on 02/22/2013 6:26:17 PM PST by verga (A nation divided by Zero!)
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To: Lucky9teen
The Cat in the Hat leaving a trail of destruction where ever he goes..


75 posted on 02/22/2013 7:33:15 PM PST by clearcarbon
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To: Lucky9teen

BUMP!!!!!! >:-D


76 posted on 02/23/2013 7:16:38 PM PST by DeoVindiceSicSemperTyrannis
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To: who knows what evil?

I know, me too. I’m 43 and I can remember very fondly every saturday morning watching Looney Tunes with a bowl of Count Chocula.

Did you know that Tom & Jerry are now friends and go on ‘cultural adventures’ together. My childhood died when I found that out.


77 posted on 02/25/2013 11:52:24 AM PST by envisio (Its on like Donkey Kong!!)
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To: who knows what evil?

Not only that, but I can remember every Saturday, after cartoons, we would hop on our bicycles and ride down to the creek or play football in the cow pasture. We wouldn’t come back until suppertime. And everyone from our generation knows when suppertime is and what it means if you are not there on time.

Now kids watch Jersey Shore or pregnant teens and stay inside all day with their face in a computer screen or some type of other electronic gadget attached to their head. ALL DAY.

I fear for the health of these kids but it saddens me more that they will never have memories of childhood like we had... carefree, roming the great outdoors, getting mudding and scrapping knees. Its sad.


78 posted on 02/25/2013 12:03:13 PM PST by envisio (Its on like Donkey Kong!!)
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To: envisio
I know, me too. I’m 43 and I can remember very fondly every saturday morning watching Looney Tunes with a bowl of Count Chocula.

Best part was that you had a 'bonus' serving of chocolate milk when the cereal was gone. :-)

Did you know that Tom & Jerry are now friends and go on ‘cultural adventures’ together?

I heard about that 'revival' but I knew it would be nothing like the 'classics'...I didn't think it would be THAT bad.

79 posted on 02/25/2013 12:10:27 PM PST by who knows what evil? (G-d saved more animals than people on the ark...www.siameserescue.org.)
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