Skip to comments.Angry Mother of Twins Throws Flaming Diapers at Late Night Firework Shooters
Posted on 07/07/2013 1:50:17 PM PDT by metmom
Police were called to a Hillcrest neighborhood early this morning when neighbors reported that a local mom of twins began throwing flaming dirty diapers at a group of people setting off fireworks.
The woman, Ernie Orsborn, became angry over fireworks going off in her neighborhood while her two young children were trying to sleep. Records show repeated calls to 311 reporting the firework violators between 8:30p.m. and 1 a.m.
Around 9:00 Orsborn posted to her twitter account: I mean, if you like fireworks, go to Pops on the River and let us abstained sip our wine in peace as babies sleep.
Witnesses tell us that sometime around 1:30 a.m. she decided to take measures into her own hands.
I heard her yell, you want to see fireworks, here you go assholes, a neighbor tells us. Suddenly I see her holding a diaper bin and a lighter. She started pulling them out one by one and lobbing them over the fence at a group of drunk men shooting bottle rockets at each other. I sort of wanted to go help her throw them.
None of the individuals shooting the fireworks sustained any injuries, although several did have large amounts of child fecal matter on their faces. Police say that the men promptly put away the fireworks and apologized to the angry mother. None of the men are pressing charges according to police.
As of this morning several bottles of wine, fresh fruit, and pastries have been set outside Orsborns house. Neighbors additionally tell us the men in question have spent much of the morning quietly washing Orsborns car, weeding her flowers beds, and pruning her rose bushes while their wives and girlfriends watch from across the street.
Not a ping.....
Now that’s funny, metmom.
I completely understand her frustrations. We always dreaded 4th of July and New Year’s Eve. Loved it when it rained those days...
Don’t tell me. Local law enforcement officials do not believe terrorism was involved at this time. Ever been hit with a flaming dirty diaper?
“As of this morning several bottles of wine, fresh fruit, and pastries have been set outside Orsborns house. Neighbors additionally tell us the men in question have spent much of the morning quietly washing Orsborns car, weeding her flowers beds, and pruning her rose bushes while their wives and girlfriends watch from across the street.”
Saw this and thought - “must be in the Midwest”.
Arkansas. Love it.
Whoops, looks like it was a satire-type of news...definitely believable for me, however! =)
Damn....I just sent it around, then realized that I’d been “Semmensized”; now I gots to go clean up.
I know where she is coming from. Fireworks were legalized in our city limits recently. The people around here start at 10:30-11 and don’t stop until 4 in the morning. They have been doing these for weeks, including weekdays, when people have to work the next day. My husband wants to know why kids are being expelled or suspended when they draw a picture of a gun or wear the wrong t-shirt.... yet these same kids can buy/and or set off powerful fireworks. They can start fires and hurt others with them. My poor silky Luci Belle, is so scared she won’t come out from under the bed. I hate fireworks and really hate to see people who can’t afford it, spend hundreds on these and have nothing to show for it but sometimes skin burns or worse.
I knew her brother, Ozzrie.
The Flaming Diapers will be performing at the next Emo Fest
I’m on the mom’s side. Here in Illinois and Missouri, the hoosiers have a fireworks fetish. They start drinking and shooting off fireworks not caring on whose property they land. Alcohol/drugs, hoosiers, and fireworks don’t mix..
This kinda sounds like a Sharon stunt.
Kind of a shame it’s satire.
It’s the south, for sure. Our neighbors went crazy with fireworks late last night which terrified babies, sent our indoor pets into a tizzy, and had some area dogs cowering in porch corners. My husband had a talk with the guy and mentioned “consideration” and “respect” and such. The guy said he wanted his kids to be excited about the Fourth of July (which we completely understand), and he finished his fireworks. About 10 minutes after finishing the show, he called and apologized all over the place and the two of them worked out a solution for next year. (Notification ahead of time so kids, pets, etc., would be prepared.)
If this had happened in our neighborhood in So. Cal., mortal lifetime enemies, expletives, and obscene hand gestures would have been the result.
Darn it! I was wanting to move there, wherever it was, flaming diapers and all!
Great balls of ....
Wow. I did not see that one coming. Maybe there is hope after all.
OK. I thought everything was hopeless. That our country was down the tubes. I guess there is at least one neighborhood where they still repent their sins and make things whole again.
"© 2012 - 2013 Rock City Times. The content on here is presented as fictional news with an intent for humor."
Too bad because it's so believable.
Thanks for posting the article. Whoever the author is (Greg), he writes very well.
I went into the article expecting dark clouds, and instead found joy and clear skies.
I think we should just keep the fact that it’s satire under our hats. I was totally fooled because I didn’t go to the link. I BEE EMBARRAZZED.
Maybe it is hopeless because this is satire, not real life.
Although it SHOULD be real life....
He writes better than many journalists who report real news.
You should read the comments at the bottom of the link.
You’re not the only one.
Talc + “Baby Residue” == Bunpowder
I too would get a little cranky changing the diapers on twins.
Re: the disclaimer—darn!
Those guys were ****faced.
>> looks like it was a satire-type of news...
I couldn’t tell for sure until the part about the sobered-up drunks cleaning her yard, washing her car, etc... that outed it as fiction!
Anyone here ever try to light and fling a dirty diaper, without starter fluid? I must say I haven’t... I have my doubts that they’d burn. On the other hand, they might be effective hand grenades WITHOUT the fire.
Loved the laugh for the day!!
I live in Southern California and we’ve been “celebrating” the 4th for about three weeks now. Some idiots came by in a car and were throwing bottle rockets out the window — I think one was thrown at me and my dog when I was out walking, they were moving too fast for me to get a license or make on the car. I could hear bottle rockets being thrown up the street. Everything here is dry as a bone and there is a huge danger of wildfires (I live in the foothills).
I have been hearing piccolo petes for at least two weeks too — no gunfire, yet — they save that for New Years.
I have a general wish that one of the idiots in charge loses a thumb or finger and that will be the end of their idiotic and dangerous drunk fireworks for a long while.
we;ve had a lot of summers where it’s extremely dry or stuff lands on someone’s roof and can start something on fire.
It is believable, lol.
With a name like that I’d be throwing poop too
Shoulda bought a squirrel...
That didn’t conclude like I figured it was gonna... ;-)
I must be odd because I have always loved the sounds. When my girls were babies and young, they slept through everything. Then they got old enough to enjoy them too. I turned the tv really low the other night so I could hear them.
With Thin Mints, no arson threats are necessary.
“Ever been hit with a flaming dirty diaper?”
No, but I’m gonna add that to my “Bucket List of Things I Want Before I Die”. LOL.
Tell me about it. It’s supposed to be the Fourth of July, but it always turns into ten days of hoozh fest...
Love this story.
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