Hillary Campaign Slogan Chosen: "Hell to Pay"

WASHINGTON, July 30 - Spokesfeminists for Hillary Clinton confirmed today that should her talking, listening, peeking, probing, threatening, paying, triangulating and surveillance tours in the next year poll out to indicate that running for president might be seen as a positive career move in 2016, under certain conditions, to be determined, which might or might not include good miniseries ratings for her highly edited, completely candid, NBC limited, full, autobiography, then, possibly, Hillary's campaign slogan will almost certainly, but not yet actually, be: "Hell to Pay."

And even if it is not chosen as the overt slogan, a spokesfeminist noted that it surely is an abiding meme that almost everyone on the planet should take to heart, at the end of the day, if they want to be on the same page, versus, for example, being torn out of the notebook, crumpled up, and lit on fire.

Picking up on this message, another spokesfeminist remarked that this is why the phrase perfectly captured the nuanced communication of total blazing destruction for the many disappointing, disloyal and saddening former acolytes who betrayed, dumped and rejected the former Arch Goddess Ruler of the Universe (Averted Eyes Class), in favor of Obama. "This is Hillary's way of reaching out in a caring, compassionate way towards those who still want to live," the spokesfeminist said.

Hillary Clinton and her driver were cruising along on a country road one evening when an ancient cow loomed in front of the car.

The driver tried to avoid it but couldn't. The aged bovine was struck and killed. Hillary told her driver to trek up to the farmhouse to explain to the owners what had happened, while she stayed in the car, wanting to avoid trouble at all costs! About an hour later, her driver staggered back to the car, with his clothes in complete disarray. He was holding a half-empty bottle of very expensive wine in one hand, a rare huge Cuban cigar in the other, and was smiling happily, smeared in lipstick!

"What the hell happened to you?" demanded Hillary.

"Well," the driver replied, "The farmer gave me the cigar, his wife gave me the wine and his beautiful two daughters made wild, passionate love to me."

"My God, what did you tell them?" Hillary asked?

The driver replied, "I just stepped inside the door and said to them, 'I'm Hillary Clinton's driver and I've just killed the old cow.' The rest happened so fast I couldn't stop it."

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