Skip to comments.***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD***
Posted on 12/13/2013 4:44:09 AM PST by Lucky9teen
The trouble with quotes on the Internet is that you never know if they are genuine. Abraham Lincoln
When in doubt, attribute quotes to Mark Twain. Mark Twain
The greatest thing about Facebook, is that you can quote something and totally make up the source. George Washington
I hate it when people quote me on the internet, claiming I said things that I never actually said. Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr.
A woman can have a smile, and a woman can have a large backside, but I have been to the mountain and I am here to tell you that when a woman has both of those things she is not to be trusted. Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr.
Dude, I never said half the shit people attribute to my name, lolz. Mark Twain
Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. will have some good ideas. Theodore Roosevelt
People who use unattributable and obviously made-up quotes to make some clever point on the internet are the absolute worst. Anonymous
The fabrication of Oscar Wilde quotes is among the noblest of endeavors. Oscar Wilde
Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but the living room in your fortified compound. Kurt Vonnegut
Wear sunscreen. Count Dracula
The use of CGI for Green Lantern's costume is, frankly, a bit distracting. I wish they hadn't done that. David Ben-Gurion
On the Internet, nobody knows youre not quoting Martin Luther King, Jr. Abraham Lincoln
Behind every great man there stands a great woman. Behind every great woman is a great behind. Bill Clinton
Some of my best friends are Oscar Wilde. Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr.
I once killed a man for snoring too loudly. Gandhi
Rumors of my wit have been greatly exaggerated. Mark Twain
A fish in the bush is worth two in the pants. Benjamin Franklin
2 million people will misquote me on Facebook, but most of them won't drag their lazy ass out bed to go vote. Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr.
Laugh loudly and carry a big stick of butter. Paula Deen
Who's on first are belong to us. Bud Abbott & Lou Costello
We wants it, we needs it. Must have the precious. They stole it from us. Sneaky little hobbitses. Wicked, tricksy, false! Rush Limbaugh
That's not a quote! This is a quote! Crocodile Dundee
It is pitch black. You are likely to be eaten by a grue. Thomas Edison
Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you. Albert Einstein
I've got a bad feeling about this. Albert Camus
You are excluded from surf and turf night. You are excluded from ravioli night. You are excluded from chicken cutlet night. Queen Elizabeth II
One misquote is one too many already! Caesar Augustus
A family had twin boys whose only resemblance to each other were their looks. Opposite in every way, one was an eternal optimist, the other a doom and gloom pessimist.
Just to see what would happen, on Christmas day their father loaded the pessimists room with every imaginable toy and game. The optimists room he loaded with horse manure.
That night the father passed by the pessimists room and found him sitting amid his new gifts crying bitterly.
Why are you crying? the father asked.
Because my friends will be jealous, Ill have to read all these instructions before I can do anything with this stuff, Ill constantly need batteries, and my toys will eventually get broken. answered the pessimist twin.
Passing the optimist twins room, the father found him dancing for joy in the pile of manure. What are you so happy about? he asked.
To which his optimist twin replied, Theres got to be a pony in here somewhere!
And for most Obama voters
ONce again no IBTP. I think you’ve taken this on as some sort of challenge.
Top something! (15?)
Chiming in from work.
Just a little more and I can fill this glass.
Yay top somethingish!
Wow. There really is a FReeper with the handle “Christmas.” They posted just once back in 2004. Obviously this place didn’t have the holiday spirit they were looking for.
The Hobbit was very good last night. I highly recommend the new movie.
WOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOO TGIF!
In before the 5 inches of sleet...
“I need another specimen cup!”
Ugga Wugga Meatball http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XpKcSllexag
A portable cassette tape player? That cartoon has to be circa 1989.
“I think I pee’d a wittle bit”
That is just wrong!!
True story, prescription side effects
A woman asks her husband at breakfast time, “Would you like some bacon and eggs, a slice of toast, and maybe some grapefruit juice and coffee?”
He declines. Thanks for asking, but, I’m not hungry right now. “It’s this Viagra,” he says. “It’s really taken the edge off my appetite.”
At lunchtime, she asks him if he’d like something. “How about a bowl of soup, homemade muffins, or a cheese sandwich?”
He declines. “The Viagra,” he says, “really trashes my desire for food.”
Come dinner time, she asks if he wants anything to eat. “Would you like a juicy rib eye steak and some scrumptious apple pie? Or maybe a rotisserie chicken or
tasty stir fry?”
He declines again. “No,” he says, “it’s got to be the Viagra. I’m still not hungry.”
“Well,” she says, “Would you mind letting me up? I’m starving.”
Lol! I’m cranberry and popcorn strung.
After a recent wave of identity thefts, the FBI estimates there are over 500 fake Obamacare websites set up for the sole purpose of stealing your personal information.
So protect yourself and remember: The real web site is the one that doesnt work.
|You Are a Cranberry and Popcorn Strung Tree|
From cookies to nicely wrapped presents, your unique creations impress everyone.
Oh, that is soooooo good!
Oh please excuse me, said the bunny. I didnt mean to trip over you, but Im blind and cant see.
Thats perfectly all right, replied the snake. To be sure, it was my fault. I didnt mean to trip you, but Im blind too, and I didnt see you coming. By the way, what kind of animal are you?
Well, I really dont know, said the bunny. Im blind, and Ive never seen myself. Maybe you could examine me and find out. So the snake felt the bunny all over, and he said, Well, youre soft, and cuddly, and you have long silky ears, and a little fluffy tail and a dear twitchy little nose. You must be a bunny rabbit!
The bunny said, I cant thank you enough. But by the way, what kind of animal are you?
The snake replied that he didnt know either, and the bunny agreed to examine him, and when the bunny was finished, the snake asked, Well, what kind of an animal am I?
The bunny had felt the snake all over, and he replied, Youre cold, youre slippery, and you havent got any balls . You must be a politician.
Whatcha saying Willis?
Gotta pee, gotta pee, gotta pee
I printed this out, laminated it, and hung it up in my class as a warning to my students.
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