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9 Things Cats Know but Won't Tell You
vetstreet.com ^ | 12/22/2013 | Dr. Marty Becker

Posted on 12/22/2013 4:10:27 PM PST by boatbums

Most dog owners come into the veterinary office with their canine companions devotedly following them. Tails wagging, the dogs look up at their people with adoring eyes. Most cat owners, on the other hand, wrestle a cardboard box into the exam room, reach in like a magician and pull out not a rabbit, but an angry feline. For their efforts they get covered with furry shrapnel and sometimes raked with claws until their face and arms look like so many tic-tac-toe games. (It doesn't have to be like that, by the way.)

As a lifetime pet lover and practicing veterinarian of more than 30 years, I've noticed a few things about cats. And so for all you cat owners, here's the Secret Code of Cat Behavior (or What Cats Know but Won't Tell You).

•Strategically place your hairball. If you have to hack up a hairball, toss it like a trophy onto something visible and valuable, like the new leather couch. If you can't reach that in time, an Oriental rug is an appropriate substitute.

•Know the enemy and embrace him. If mom is entertaining, determine quickly who hates or is allergic to cats, race immediately to that person and leap into his or her lap. Mom's watching, so he won't dare push you off and will even fake affection by stroking you and repeating, "Nice kitty. Niiiice kitty."

•Wear fur proudly. You must always select clothing in sharp contrast to your own fur color on which to rub, leap or audition for the president of the Hair Club for Cats. Again, dare to share.

•Be Johnnie on the Spot. As a courtesy, always accompany guests to the toilet. Your job is to sit and stare like you're a peeping-tom cat.

(Excerpt) Read more at shine.yahoo.com ...


TOPICS: Humor; Pets/Animals
KEYWORDS: cats; kittehs; kittyping
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To: jimsin

‘Fraid our Beaux would need a LOT longer than 5 minutes. ;o)


41 posted on 12/22/2013 7:12:24 PM PST by boatbums (God is ready to assume full responsibility for the life wholly yielded to Him.)
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To: boatbums; Revolting cat!; Slings and Arrows; Daffynition

42 posted on 12/22/2013 7:16:40 PM PST by a fool in paradise (America 2013 - STUCK ON STUPID)
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To: deweyfrank

How ‘bout them PANTHERS???!!!


43 posted on 12/22/2013 7:34:22 PM PST by boatbums (God is ready to assume full responsibility for the life wholly yielded to Him.)
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To: boatbums
They are playing well indeed. If we end up with 3rd seed, we might play Panthers in playoffs. E A G L E S...Eagles!!!
44 posted on 12/22/2013 7:41:53 PM PST by deweyfrank
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To: Noumenon

I got a Maine Coon and took her recently to a new vet, told him I needed to be in the room with her as she aint much for fecal exams. He said he could handle her with a smirk. Thru the door I heard a loud series of hisses and growls followed by excited human voices. Shortly after the now much more humble vet appeared and wanted to know if he could sedate her, I said no, she is an older cat and might not live thru it. I asked what do you think of her condition? He said she is beautiful, her lungs seem fine, and her teeth are excellent as he had gotten some close views.

Taking her for checkup tomorrow to my new vet. Will report if it is more successful.

Merry Christmas!


45 posted on 12/22/2013 7:56:08 PM PST by Foundahardheadedwoman (God don't have a statute of limitations)
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To: boatbums

Sounds to me like they’re talking about a pampered house cat. My fat black street cat came home the other day with a bad cough. He has short hair, and has never had a hairball in his life. But when he came inside he started coughing and laying around the house like a beanbag. He’s been my best friend since I was 11 years old and he was a kitten, so I was worried. So I stuffed him into a cat carrier and drove him to the vet. And he was really pissed off about it. He hissed and yowled, and started shedding his fur in a way that I’d never seen before. But the vet was a nice lady with lots of experience with cats. She said he had something called “kennel cough”, which is kinda weird since he’s never been in a kennel in his life. She kept him overnight, gave him some shots, and charged me 200 dollars for some cat medicine. And she said “keep him inside for at least a week”. So I bought a litter box and put it in the laundry room, and Gremlin is a very unhappy cat today because he can’t go outside. And Wolfie Dog is laughing at him.


46 posted on 12/22/2013 8:47:35 PM PST by jespasinthru (Proud member of the Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy)
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To: Foundahardheadedwoman

Good luck with your Coonish girl - hope it goes well. And a very merry Christmas to you as well.


47 posted on 12/22/2013 9:03:25 PM PST by Noumenon (Resistance. Restoration. Retribution.)
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To: Monkey Face

Mew’re welcome.


48 posted on 12/22/2013 9:32:05 PM PST by Slings and Arrows (You can't have Ingsoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
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To: a fool in paradise

Love those little calico girls!


49 posted on 12/22/2013 9:40:28 PM PST by Slings and Arrows (You can't have Ingsoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
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To: jimsin; CatherineofAragon
I am with Catherine on this one... I mean, look at this picture:

I mean... her legs are just like paper towel tubes...

please, Ann... you are tall and lovely... intelligent, well-spoken, attractive and respectable patriotic woman with the right set of values... but please... put on some weight.

50 posted on 12/22/2013 9:42:44 PM PST by Rodamala
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To: angcat

Cats look at rugs as convenient patches of grass to puke on. It’s in their nature. They think they’re doing you a favor.


51 posted on 12/22/2013 9:47:47 PM PST by MediaMole
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To: Foundahardheadedwoman
Main Coons have very sweet dispositions, which is good since they are some of the biggest cat breeds there are. However, no matter how sweet any kitteh is, that is one area where they do NOT like messin' with. One of ours is a Ragdoll named Stella. She is small for her breed (approx. 8 lbs.) where most females can be from 10 -15 lbs. and is usually very good at the vets. One time she had a problem with bladder spasms as well as a case of diarrhea - which got all over her bloomers (the abundant fur on her back legs and long, fluffy tail, see picture). She was a mess. So I took her to the vet and they said they would clean her up and trim up her bloomers. When I went to pick her up, the vet and two aides said this normally sweet and quiet kitteh had no patience for anyone messin' back there and had put up a real fight. One of the girls had a big bruise on her wrist from Stella's "rabbit kicking" her so hard. My little girl can sure raise cain when she wants!

Stella is the one standing.

Hope everything goes well for yours at the vets!

52 posted on 12/22/2013 10:23:59 PM PST by boatbums (God is ready to assume full responsibility for the life wholly yielded to Him.)
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To: jespasinthru

I hope Gremlin pulls through okay. If you live in a state with a cold winter, it might be a good idea to just keep him in through the season. I, personally, think most cats should be indoor only as they can have all sorts of things happen to them on the outside. Now that he’s in his elder years, he may be able to thrive much better if you do. Just give him lots of love and playtime and he most likely will get used to being indoors. Maybe he and Wolfie will become besties! Good luck.


53 posted on 12/22/2013 10:30:36 PM PST by boatbums (God is ready to assume full responsibility for the life wholly yielded to Him.)
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To: boatbums

‘Fraid our Beaux would need a LOT longer than 5 minutes. ;o)

WELL I BET Beaux’S THE BEST CAT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN...


54 posted on 12/23/2013 12:57:15 AM PST by jimsin
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To: AlexW
FREE Philippine kittens,

Years ago when my niece was attending college in St. Thomas, she brought her little cat home on the plane in her purse...........LOL!

55 posted on 12/23/2013 2:47:35 AM PST by Hot Tabasco (Miss Muffit suffered from arachnophobia.....)
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To: boatbums
"How ‘bout them PANTHERS???!!!"

YES!! I am loving it!

In the immortal words of Deion Sanders: "Cam....whoaaa Cam!"

56 posted on 12/23/2013 8:57:13 AM PST by CatherineofAragon ((Support Christian white males----the architects of the jewel known as Western Civilization.))
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To: Foundahardheadedwoman
I got a Maine Coon and took her recently to a new vet, told him I needed to be in the room with her as she aint much for fecal exams. He said he could handle her with a smirk. "Thru the door I heard a loud series of hisses and growls followed by excited human voices. Shortly after the now much more humble vet appeared and wanted to know if he could sedate her, I said no, she is an older cat and might not live thru it. I asked what do you think of her condition? He said she is beautiful, her lungs seem fine, and her teeth are excellent as he had gotten some close views."

There is a cartoon along those lines somewhere on the internet that shows the vet and owner in one corner of the exam room and a big pissed off cat in the opposite corner. The vet is asking the owner something like "So what do you think is wrong with him."

57 posted on 12/23/2013 9:41:43 AM PST by Truth29
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To: boatbums
"I hope Gremlin pulls through okay. If you live in a state with a cold winter, it might be a good idea to just keep him in through the season."

Agree. My cats are indoor only., but I had the decision reinforced a couple of days ago when something took down a full grown deer in front of the house, ate part of it and left the rest for me to deal with.

58 posted on 12/23/2013 9:46:20 AM PST by Truth29
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To: Sarajevo

Sammy, be advised, you are perilously close to the end of the last of your nine lives.....THIS MEANS YOU!


59 posted on 12/26/2013 2:17:45 PM PST by jimsin
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To: AlexW

“JUST SEND ‘EM TO ME ON CONSIGNMENT A/W..I’LL FRICKESEE ‘EM “
____________________________________________
Creepo :P

Look at here folks, we got a bird who thinks more of cats than he does of money. Must be some sort of anti-capitalist or something. Voted for obaaaama, I’m abettin’....oh we’ll...takes all kinds....


60 posted on 12/26/2013 2:36:49 PM PST by jimsin
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