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What Are the Best Excuses for Being Late to Work?
NJ1015.com ^ | February 26, 2014 9:00 PM | Steve Trevelise

Posted on 02/27/2014 7:21:52 AM PST by Focault's Pendulum

A new national survey by Careerbuilder,com puts traffic on top with 39 per cent of those surveyed. There’s nothing like that helpless feeling of sitting in traffic knowing you’re going to be late for work. Next up, lack of sleep at 19 per cent, followed by problems with bad trabsportation at 8 per cent. 7 per cent blame the weather, 6 percent are late due to dropping children at daycare or school and fifteen per cent of employees of employees admit to arriving late for work at least once a week.

But there are other more unusual excuses like…

(Excerpt) Read more at nj1015.com ...


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Humor; Miscellaneous; Society
KEYWORDS: employment; excuses; work
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To: Lazamataz

I once had an employee who tried to use “the cat knocked over my alarm clock” six times in a row.

Needless to say, she eventually ended up in rehab.


21 posted on 02/27/2014 7:48:39 AM PST by Buckeye McFrog
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To: Focault's Pendulum

Around the oilfields “I met a really hot babe at the bar last night” pretty much worked every time.


22 posted on 02/27/2014 7:48:50 AM PST by IMR 4350
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To: latina4dubya

“my niece took off with my car keys”

No excuse, you should have had a spare.
Your fired.
Whats funny is when you become an employer and
you start hearing all the excuses you used to use yourself
and you know are BS. You tend to let it slide knowing that
your former boss knew the same thing and let you slide.


23 posted on 02/27/2014 7:48:59 AM PST by Slambat
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To: albie

I’ve had some woman employee tell me that she had a “urine tract infection”. It made me not ask any more, but I wonder if that’s the nature of the excuse game.


24 posted on 02/27/2014 7:49:29 AM PST by MNDude
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To: Focault's Pendulum

Don’t pay the ransom boss; I escaped.


25 posted on 02/27/2014 7:50:10 AM PST by csmusaret (Will remove Obama-Biden bumperstickers for $10)
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To: Durbin
I start an hour before everyone else, so I never have to come up with an excuse.

I start 2 hours ahead. How would they know if I'm late?

26 posted on 02/27/2014 7:52:22 AM PST by Bearshouse
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To: Focault's Pendulum

When I would to come in to work late, I would tell my boss that I’d have to leave early that day ,, as I dont want to be late twice in one day...


27 posted on 02/27/2014 7:52:49 AM PST by ßuddaßudd
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To: Focault's Pendulum

Back when I was working construction jobs I usually showed 30 minutes before the official start time, many others did too. I can’t say ever remember anyone showing up late twice.


28 posted on 02/27/2014 7:52:57 AM PST by WinMod70
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To: IMR 4350

“pretty much worked every time.”

Of course, It’s the hope, dream and holey grail of oilfield
workers to bag a hot babe. So they let it go in the hope
that maybe someday it may actually be true.


29 posted on 02/27/2014 7:53:52 AM PST by Slambat
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To: Ray76

Just show up with donuts.”

I used to work for a guy who always told us that if we were going to be late, we’d better have a box of donuts in our hand. Pretty funny. Didn’t think about it after all these years until I read your comment.


30 posted on 02/27/2014 7:54:22 AM PST by Grams A (The Sun will rise in the East in the morning and God is still on his throne.)
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To: Lazamataz

I’ve been known to tell my boss; “I’m cramping really bad today and I’m flowing even worse.”

He always says.. “Dude. Just shut up and get in here”.

Another favorite excuse: “I have anal glaucoma. Yeah, I just can’t see my ass coming in today”.


31 posted on 02/27/2014 7:54:48 AM PST by Responsibility2nd (NO LIBS. This Means Liberals and (L)libertarians! Same Thing. NO LIBS!!)
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To: MNDude

” but I wonder if that’s the nature of the excuse game.”

It is with diarrhea. Just ask albie, post #2.


32 posted on 02/27/2014 7:56:05 AM PST by Slambat
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To: Focault's Pendulum

My dog ate my Toyota.


33 posted on 02/27/2014 7:56:58 AM PST by circlecity
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To: SeekAndFind
I actually compiled a list of installer excuses on the company computer when I was managing a floor covering operation.

Some of the ones I recall

These are all actual excuses personally told to me.

I was in jail.
My helper was in jail
I had to bail out my helper
My van got repossessed.
There's a boot on one of the wheels of my van (parked in someone else's driveway)
I forgot where I parked my van last night.
Someone broke into my van last night and stole my steering wheel. I had to steer with a pair of vise grips.

And my all time favorite:

Carpet installer explaining why he was five hours late in picking up the goods.

Someone snuck into my bedroom last night and took the batteries out of my alarm clock.

34 posted on 02/27/2014 7:59:50 AM PST by Focault's Pendulum (I live in NJ....' Nuff said!)
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To: Ray76

There was this fat chick back in TV world who called a couple hours late and said she dreamed she called in.


35 posted on 02/27/2014 8:05:02 AM PST by wally_bert (There are no winners in a game of losers. I'm Tommy Joyce, welcome to the Oriental Lounge.)
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To: Focault's Pendulum
Anal Glaucoma....i.e. "I don't see my arse being there today"...

36 posted on 02/27/2014 8:10:14 AM PST by ~Vor~ (Freeper since 10/98)
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To: Focault's Pendulum

Years ago at the company where I worked, employees had to check in with the time keeper whan arriving for work.
The time keeper was stationed right outside of my office. Almost no one was ever excused for an unplanned lateness no matter what the excuse / story.
One day I overheard a guy say he was hung over. He was excused because the time keeper thought that was the first honest reason she received. :)


37 posted on 02/27/2014 8:12:28 AM PST by RedMDer (May we always be happy and may our enemies always know it. - Sarah Palin, 10-18-2010)
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To: Slambat
"trabsportation"

Really?

Trabs can be difficult to carry anywhere...especially the really ornery ones.

38 posted on 02/27/2014 8:15:04 AM PST by Verginius Rufus
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To: Focault's Pendulum

“Russia has invaded Ukraine and ICBMs have been launched on both sides of the Atlantic and Pacific.”


39 posted on 02/27/2014 8:16:41 AM PST by steve86 (Some things aren't really true but you wouldn't be half surprised if they were.)
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To: Focault's Pendulum
JAKE: (pleading) No I didn't, honest! I ran out of gas! I had a flat tire!., I didn't have enough money for cab fare! My tux didn't come back from the cleaners! An old friend came in from out of town! Someone stole my car! There was an earthquake! A terrible flood! Locusts! It wasn't my fault! I swear to God!

 photo JB_zpse40f2cda.jpeg

40 posted on 02/27/2014 8:22:28 AM PST by Zeneta (Thoughts in time and out of season.)
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