Posted on 03/28/2014 7:16:33 PM PDT by PJ-Comix
1. Bjorn Lodbrok has a worse haircut than Kim Jong Un.
2. Beware the Duke of Earl...Haraldson.
3. In Viking vs Viking battles, those wearing plain brown hoodies are doomed to die.
4. Viking trophy wives are high maintenance.
5. Ragnar Lodbrok is a secret humanitarian.
6. Although the Vikings had extensive contacts with North German Saxons, they were unaware of the existence of England until they arrived there.
7. Eighth century Viking women had the sensibilities of 21st century feminists.
8. No-Fault Viking divorce is quick and easy. No lawyers!
9. The Church punished apostate monks by crucifying them and doing their best to make them appear like Jesus including a crown of thorns and a lance in the side.
10. If an English king invites you to go skinny dipping with him in his swimming pool, you better start worrying about his sexual orientation.
11. Kattegat got absorbed by the Jarl Borg because he was dissed.
12. Rollo has an arm covered with L.A. Ink tattoos.
13. Ragnar Lodbrok is really a good ol' boy country farmer.
14. Viking soothsayers give accurate predictions if you are willing to lick their disgusting hands.
15. Rollo can grab a red hot knife for a full 10 seconds without displaying the slightest bit of pain and his hand will show no ill effects.
16. There is no Viking word for foreplay.
17. If you listen carefully to Old Saxon, in less than a minute it will sound exactly like modern English.
18. Hidden church treasure can always be found beneath the altar floorboards.
19. Lutefisk is the Viking MRE of choice when going on raiding parties.
20. Surving a battle is a bummer if you want to enter Valhalla.
21. Viking Duck Dynasty hunted birds with bows and arrows.
22. One of Ragnar's sons grew up to become Kirk Douglas and the other became Tony Curtis with an exotic Bronx accent.
Only on Netflix’s DVD program. You can watch this season’s episodes on the History Channel site. They do expire, so you’ll have to do some catching up in the next couple of days to see the first couple of this season’s episodes. If you have Amazon Prime, season 1 is free to watch online.
Thanks for the alert......saw most of Season 2 last night.
It is my favorite show on television.
The whole soap opera thing with the GOP Jeb Bush things is horrible casting. He could never win an election.
Would have gotten to this earlier if we hadn’t lost internet service yesterday *grumble*.
That IS very good. I admit I’m not much on the metal growling...never have been, really...but music? I like. Video imagery? Love. And that is one cool chick.
LOL
I didn’t see any tray-tossing feminists, but I’m kind of worried about the, uh, orientation of those Vikings.....in view of their music taste.
NO SHOW TUNES!
She has caused me to have impure thoughts.
They did seem awfully happy to get that livestock on board...
What do I mean by this? Simply the following points. There is *no* verifiable written record as to the very existence of a man named Ragnar Lothbrok (or Ragnar Hairy Breeks, as he was named in Anglo-Saxon legend of the time,) let alone his leading the Lindisfarne Raid, which *was* the first raid by Scandinavian marauders on Anglo-Saxon England entering written record. But, there is a wealth of oral legend, both in Scandinavia and England, featuring an individual so named.
Did such a man actually exist, or is he a composite of several other individuals whose names are lost both to written history, and surviving legend? Nobody can definitively answer, but interweaving the two makes for a darned good story, and is a perfect example of the bard's craft.
Inasmuch as I, in years past, have been an active historical re-enactor, who re-enacted both combat (yes, I've actually taken my place in a shield-wall, stormed a 'castle' from the heights of a siege tower, and all that) and the bardic arts, such definitely piques my interest immediately, and when well-done, I commend...
the infowarrior
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