Copenhagen Zoo Kills Four Healthy Staff Members To Make Space For New Employees

The Global Edition ^ | 3/28/2014

[Beave Meister]

COPENHAGEN (The Global Edition) – The Copenhagen Zoo has killed several of its staff members early this morning in order to create four new job openings, the Zoo public relations sector reported.

Officials of the Zoo say that the four members of the staff were humanely executed after being put to sleep with a lethal injection, and then skinned and chopped up while visitors crowded around and the meat was fed to the lion population.

[Beave Meister]

Those with the most seniority were the first to go....

[ClearCase_guy]

It’s a jungle out there.

[Vendome]

It’s a real bear out there

[windcliff]

Like.

[Pearls Before Swine]

Did they run out of giraffes?

[PA Engineer]

[Beave Meister]

No, it was just time for these four.

“Four of the oldest staff members, among them one female, were put to sleep with a lethal injection and then fed to the giraffes. However, the giraffes didn’t show interest in their meat, so they were fed to the lions,” explained the Zoo spokesman.

[ifinnegan]

Wonderful Wonderful Copenhagen.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eEwdroXuL8A&feature=kp

[kaehurowing]

Wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh

http://theweek.com/article/index/258483/speedreads-billy-joel-and-jimmy-fallon-sing-the-lion-sleeps-tonight-in-six-part-harmony

[KarlInOhio]

If you don't do that the population of zoo employees gets too inbred. Columbus Zoo has 215 decedents of Jack Hannah working there. < /sarc>

[Beave Meister]

Hilarious.....

[BeadCounter]

Buzzards over there in Denmark, can’t say what I’d really like to.

[smokingfrog]

Sounds like a plan.

[RandallFlagg]

Great!

When do we get to do that with government’s career politicians?

They need to make way for new blood.

TERMINUS STYLE!!!

[skinkinthegrass]

let's start with; Sen(ile) Mitch "Reid's *itch" McConnell and SotH Johnny "Walker/*HIC!*" Boehmer
(why just two from one side of the parties)
both long-timers GOPers, *shooot!* the entire Establishment Club in the District of Criminals.

[IM2MAD]

April Fool. They killed 4 LIONS. (Search Copenhagen zoo.)

[Free Vulcan]

Made ya look suckas!

[KarlInOhio]

decedents -> descendants I didn't even get close enough on my first spelling attempt to get the right suggestion.

[LegendHasIt]

In a few more years, this won’t be satire.

[shove_it]

Now we know what the real “Shovel Ready Jobs” program was supposed to be.