***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD***

Happy Independence Day FReeper FRiends!!!

Today is the anniversary of the day America broke up with England

To celebrate, I found a little song someone wrote on Tumblr:

Cuz if you liked it then you shouldn’t have put your rules on it

If you liked it then you shouldn’t have put that tax on it

Don’t be mad once you see our freedom hit

If you liked it then you shouldn’t have badly governed it

Wo oh oh, oh oh oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh, wo oh oh

"When you're born, you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat." -George Carlin

"If our Founding Fathers wanted us to care about the rest of the world, they wouldn't have declared their independence from it." -Stephen Colbert

"It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them." -Mark Twain

America is a vast conspiracy to make you happy. – John Updike

"Ninety eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them." -Lily Tomlin

America is a country that doesn't know where it is going but is determined to set a speed record getting there. – Laurence J. Peter

America is the best half-educated country in the world. – Nicholas M. Butler

In America, anyone can become President. That’s the problem. – George Carlin

It was decided almost two hundred years ago that English should be the language spoken in the United States. It is not known, however, why this decision has not been carried out. – George Mikes

Maybe every other American movie shouldn't be based on a comic book. Other countries will think Americans live in an infantile fantasy land where reality is whatever we say it is and every problem can be solved with violence. – Bill Maher

Ninety-eight per cent of American homes have TV sets - which means the people in the other two per cent have to generate their own sex and violence. – Franklin P. Jones

"If you buy your July 4 supplies at Walmart, you can celebrate on independence from Britain and dependence on China at the same time." -Andy Borowitz

"Happy 4th of July! As you take this day to honor America, ask yourself, "Why am I not honoring America on the other 364 days? Shame on me." -Stephen Colbert

"Dear America, Happy Independence day.& thanks for running the world since we retired. (China wants the job but hang in there.) Luv England." -Ricky Gervais

"On July 4 we celebrate government of the people, by the people, and for the people, or as they are now called, corporations." -Andy Borowitz

"Happy 4th of July, although I don't support celebrating a bunch of rebels defeating an empire." -Darth Vader

"Tomorrow let's not forget the whole reason behind July 4th. We left England so we could blow our fingers off w/ fireworks! #Freedom" -Steve Agee

Here is an email sent to Clarence Page of the Chicago Tribune after an article he published concerning a name change for the Washington Redskins.

Dear Mr. Page...

I always love your articles. and I generally agree with them. I would suggest, as in an email I received, they change the name to the “Foreskins” to better represent their community, paying tribute to the dick heads in Congress.

Here are some other politically correctness to consider: I agree with our Native American population. I am highly insulted by the racially charged name of the Washington Redskins. One might argue that to name a professional football team after Native Americans would exalt them as fine warriors, but nay, nay. We must be careful not to offend, and in the spirit of political correctness and courtesy, we must move forward. Let’s ditch the Kansas City Chiefs, the Atlanta Braves and the Cleveland Indians. If your shorts are in a wad because of the reference the name Redskins makes to skin color, then we need to get rid of the Cleveland Browns.

The Carolina Panthers obviously were named to keep the memory of militant Blacks from the 60’s alive. Gone. It’s offensive to us white folk.

The New York Yankees offend the Southern population.

I am also offended by the blatant references to the Catholic religion among our sports team names. Totally inappropriate to have the New Orleans Saints, the Los Angeles Angels or the San Diego Padres.

Then there are the team names that glorify criminals who raped and pillaged. We are talking about the horrible Oakland Raiders, the Minnesota Vikings, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and the Pittsburgh Pirates!

Now, let us address those teams that clearly send the wrong message to our children. The San Diego Chargers promote irresponsible fighting or even spending habits. Wrong message to our children.

The New York Giants and the San Francisco Giants promote obesity, a growing childhood epidemic. Wrong message to our children.

The Cincinnati Reds promote downers/barbiturates . Wrong message to our children.

The Milwaukee Brewers-—well that goes without saying . . . Wrong message to our children.

So, there you go. We need to support any legislation that comes out to rectify this travesty, because the government will likely become involved with this issue, as they should. Just the kind of thing the do-nothing congress loves . . .

As a die hard Oregon State fan, my wife and I, with all of this in mind, it might also make some sense to change the name of the Oregon State women’s athletic teams to something other than “the Beavers.”

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.