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***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD***

Posted on 06/19/2015 5:58:14 AM PDT by Lucky9teen

In honor of Fathers Day
Here are some ways moms and dads take care of their kids differently...

Be very careful when baby is cooking with Dad. . . that is be sure baby isn't what's for dinner!

When kids get older, there is a reason why they'll remember play time with Dads more..

It's clear what's going on when kids are with Mom, but what the hell are they doing with Dad? Turning into little slaves?

Guess which parent a kid will learn to ride a two-wheeler faster with?

At amusement parks, Dad always seems to have MORE FUN than anyone else in the family.

Careful. . . Baby might be left behind in a zoo with the animals, when going with Dad.

Dad will dress kids in costumes ONLY adults understand and can laugh about.

Have you ever wondered how Dad is able to do the grocery shopping so DAMN QUICKLY?

Never mind ever having table manners. . . "Manners" don't exist in Dad's book.

Dads certainly have a "hands on" approach to this difficult baby time. Don't worry about Mom's onion, it numbs the gums.



16 All Time Funniest Dad Texts (warning: language)


Now for some funny riddles:

1. Take away my first letter, and I still sound the same. Take away my last letter, I still sound the same. Even take away my letter in the middle, I will still sound the same. I am a five letter word. What am I?

2. What is as light as a feather, but even the world’s strongest man couldn’t hold it for more than a minute?

3. What 5- letter word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it?

4. There are 3 switches downstairs. Each corresponds to one of the three light bulbs in the attic. You can turn the switches on and off and leave them in any position. How would you identify which switch corresponds to which light bulb if you are only allowed one trip upstairs

5. I am very heavy but, backwards I’m not.  What am I?

6. A cowboy rides into town on Friday; he stays two days and leaves on Saturday.  How can this be?

7. Where does afternoon come before morning?

8. What has a face and two hands, but no arms and legs?

9. I come one in a minute, twice in a moment, but never in a thousand years.  What am I?

10. What gets wetter as it dries?

11. There is one word in the English language that is always pronounced incorrectly.  What is it?

12. Try to re-arrange the letters of NEW DOOR to make one word.

13. A basket contains 5 apples.  How can you divide the apples among 5 kids so that each child has an apple and one apple stays in the basket?












TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: dads; fathers; ofst; trans; transracial
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I like the Presidential candidates pretty much the same order they entered the race. Trump can get in line behind Jeb!

Ted Cruz 2016

1 posted on 06/19/2015 5:58:14 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
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To: Lucky9teen

Woohoo!! I need it this week! It’s been very long.


2 posted on 06/19/2015 5:58:53 AM PDT by ShadowAce (Linux -- The Ultimate Windows Service Pack)
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To: Lucky9teen

Inb4ten should be a sin.


3 posted on 06/19/2015 5:59:54 AM PDT by AppyPappy
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To: 2111USMC; 21stCenturion; 2ndDivisionVet; 3AngelaD; 4mycountry; 5Madman2; 6amgelsmama; 88keys; ...






CLICK HERE TO BE INCLUDED OR TAKEN OFF THE LIST



4 posted on 06/19/2015 6:01:19 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (Justice will not be served until those who r unaffected r as outraged as those who r. B Franklin)
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To: ShadowAce
With any luck, top 10.



5 posted on 06/19/2015 6:02:21 AM PDT by upchuck (Downsizing and decentralizing government is something the Republican establishment just wonÂ’t allow)
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To: Lucky9teen

TOP TEN AGAIN! WOO HOO!


6 posted on 06/19/2015 6:06:59 AM PDT by NCC-1701 (You have your fear, which might become reality; and you have Godzilla, which IS reality.)
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To: Lucky9teen

Good morning, all. I just love this thread and look forward to it every week!


7 posted on 06/19/2015 6:08:58 AM PDT by glennaro
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To: NCC-1701

Top Ten
woot


8 posted on 06/19/2015 6:09:51 AM PDT by Yorlik803 ( Church/Caboose in 2016)
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To: Lucky9teen

TOP TEN!!!


9 posted on 06/19/2015 6:10:04 AM PDT by Monkey Face (Sparkle taught me: No matter what life brings you, put some litter on that $*** and move on!)
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To: Lucky9teen

TOP TEN?!?


10 posted on 06/19/2015 6:12:41 AM PDT by dayglored (Meditate for twenty minutes every day, unless you are too busy, in which case meditate for an hour.)
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To: Monkey Face

Top 10?


11 posted on 06/19/2015 6:12:47 AM PDT by glasseye
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To: glasseye

Almost...


12 posted on 06/19/2015 6:13:15 AM PDT by glasseye
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To: Monkey Face

13 posted on 06/19/2015 6:13:56 AM PDT by TexasCajun (Hillary: Ethically Sleazy & Politically Stupid)
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To: Lucky9teen

14 posted on 06/19/2015 6:14:35 AM PDT by TexasCajun (Hillary: Ethically Sleazy & Politically Stupid)
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To: Lucky9teen
Fedex Truck Filled with Urinal Cakes Goes Up in Flames
15 posted on 06/19/2015 6:14:55 AM PDT by snarkpup (We need to replace our politicians before they replace us.)
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To: TexasCajun

Both of those are very funny! Thanks for the laughs!


16 posted on 06/19/2015 6:15:30 AM PDT by Monkey Face (Sparkle taught me: No matter what life brings you, put some litter on that $*** and move on!)
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To: Lucky9teen

So when do we get the answers to the riddles? LOL


17 posted on 06/19/2015 6:16:44 AM PDT by MortMan (All those in favor of gun control raise both hands!)
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To: Lucky9teen

IN!! LMAO!


18 posted on 06/19/2015 6:17:41 AM PDT by TADSLOS (A Ted Cruz Happy Warrior! GO TED!)
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To: TexasCajun
Ahhhh, I still remember that day.


19 posted on 06/19/2015 6:18:43 AM PDT by TexasCajun (Hillary: Ethically Sleazy & Politically Stupid)
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To: Lucky9teen

Top 20?


20 posted on 06/19/2015 6:20:17 AM PDT by PROCON (CRUZing into 2016 with Ted.)
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