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Florence Deaths To Rise To 20,000 (Satire)
9/15/18 | RetiredTexasVet

Posted on 09/15/2018 6:24:20 PM PDT by RetiredTexasVet

A study commissioned by the Democratic National Committee at George Washington University projected that at least 20,000 people would die as a result of Hurricane Florence. GWU used the Climate Change Model perfected by Global Warming professors Jones, Hansen and Mann to calculate their projections of 20,000 deaths.

Although the actual number of deaths to date are less than 20, when the Puerto Rico model (3,000 estimated deaths) was updated with the Florence statistics and tweaked several times, the death estimates rose to 20,000.

GWU defended their results stating that several factors influenced the estimates. Many of the estimated deaths would be from black communities denied health care by racist whites. Additionally, many Hispanics visiting from Mexico and Central American would not receive health care or assistance because the racist FEMA will not provide Hispanic written or oral assistance. Also, many deaths by suicide are projected among millennials because of traumatic loss of internet access to Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, etc.


TOPICS: Humor; Science; Weather
KEYWORDS: sarcasm; satire; scorn

1 posted on 09/15/2018 6:24:20 PM PDT by RetiredTexasVet
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To: RetiredTexasVet

lol


2 posted on 09/15/2018 6:30:06 PM PDT by Conserv
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To: RetiredTexasVet

You had me going there for a while. But it wouldn’t surprise me if it was true.


3 posted on 09/15/2018 6:32:37 PM PDT by mdan41
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To: RetiredTexasVet

4 posted on 09/15/2018 6:33:55 PM PDT by GraceG ("Q is not a Cult, you can safely leave at any time, unlike Islam")
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To: RetiredTexasVet

Old Aggie Joke: A Cessna 162 crashes in a cemetery near the TA&M campus. 2 bodies recovered quickly, digging for more bodies would continue through the night.


5 posted on 09/15/2018 6:38:04 PM PDT by Deaf Smith (When a Texan takes his chances, chances will be taken that's fore sure)
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To: RetiredTexasVet

Statisticians claim that stress will cause heart damage that could kill as many as 2,000 by 2040....

Yes, this is hyperbolic sarcasm but it is still accurate because the left has become unhinged and no lie is to low or too indefensible to use.


6 posted on 09/15/2018 6:39:31 PM PDT by WMarshal (America First)
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To: RetiredTexasVet

That means 20,000 more Rat voters.


7 posted on 09/15/2018 6:52:09 PM PDT by rfp1234 (I have already previewed this composition.)
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To: RetiredTexasVet

What about all the deaths due to localized accelerated catastrophic global warming?


8 posted on 09/15/2018 6:52:44 PM PDT by TChad
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To: RetiredTexasVet

Brian Williams was there when they counted the bodies.


9 posted on 09/15/2018 7:09:50 PM PDT by laweeks
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To: RetiredTexasVet

Seems some computer programmer could come up with a simulation that shows no one died or that millions died. Depending on the story that has the highest bidder.


10 posted on 09/15/2018 7:18:15 PM PDT by MtnClimber (For photos of Colorado scenery and wildlife, click on my screen name for my FR home page.)
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To: RetiredTexasVet

Myrtle Beach looks worse than Normandy and Tarawa combined.


11 posted on 09/15/2018 7:57:48 PM PDT by fella ("As it was before Noah so shall it be again,")
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To: RetiredTexasVet

Do I hear 30,000? 30,000? Going once, going twice, sold to the Fake News media for 10 pieces of gold.


12 posted on 09/15/2018 10:15:52 PM PDT by MadMax, the Grinning Reaper
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