Posted on 01/09/2020 5:56:15 AM PST by sodpoodle
The amazing Martinez
It was the first day of school and a new student named Martinez, the son of a Mexican restaurateur, entered the fourth grade. The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American history. Who said "Give me Liberty, or give me Death?" She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Martinez, who had his hand up. "Patrick Henry, 1775."
"Very good! Who said 'Government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth'"? Again, no response except from Martinez: "Abraham Lincoln, 1863.", said Martinez. The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed. Martinez, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do."
She heard a loud whisper: "Screw the Mexicans." "Who said that?" she demanded. Martinez put his hand up. "Jim Bowie, 1836."
At that point, a student in the back said, "I'm gonna puke." The teacher glares and asks "All right! Now, who said that?" Again, Martinez says, "George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991."
Now furious, another student yells, "Oh yeah? Suck this!" Martinez jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher, "Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!"
Now with almost a mob hysteria someone said, "You little shit. If you say anything else, I'll kill you." Martinez frantically yells at the top of his voice, "Gary Condit to Chandra Levy 2001."
The teacher fainted. And as the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, "Oh shit, now we're in BIG trouble!" Martinez said, "Saddam Hussein 2003."
**********
Good one.
<< “You little shit. If you say anything else, I’ll kill you.” Martinez frantically yells at the top of his voice, “Gary Condit to Chandra Levy 2001.” >>
Or Joe Scarborough to Lori Klausutis in that same year.
A little advice for all joke and story tellers from William Shakespeare:
‘Brevity is the soul of wit’
very witty and enjoyable humor! Nuts!
I think that last one is “Hillary Clinton, election night 2016”.
bfl
True but Shakespeare might have coined this story as a humorous sonnet, in iambic pentameter no less!
Thanks. Such posts should be at the top of the list every morning. A great way to start the day.
Last panel: That’s a typo. It took only 316 clicks.
Had me laughing.
Nuts!
Commander Anthony McAuliffe, World War II
Or Hillary Clinton to Vince Foster.
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