Posted on 09/01/2021 7:18:04 PM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks
SILVER SPRING, MD—After some concern from the general public around the FDA's approval of the Pfizer vaccine, the FDA released a statement today confirming that the vaccine is perfectly safe and will not harm humans or viruses.
"Yeah, this thing is perfectly benign—it wouldn't hurt a fly," said FDA Commissioner Stephen Hahn to the press. "You could inject this stuff all day and nothing would happen! Although, we do recommend injecting this stuff as often as humanly possible. Can't hurt, right?"
Experts say that although the vaccine doesn't prevent transmission or infection from the virus, especially the Delta version, it does do something, they just can't remember what it was.
Other health experts reminded the public that the vaccine can indeed lessen symptoms and keep you out of the hospital, but it will only do so if you get regular booster shots and new variant shots for the rest of your life.
"Yeah, I wouldn't worry about it," said Hahn. "Since the vaccine is literally the only thing that can protect you from COVID or keep you healthy, I recommend you just keep getting it forever. After all, it's harmless!"
Tell that to the families who’s loved ones died from that jab; oh, sorry, they had underlying conditions so the jab didn’t do it.
Babylon Bee is satire.
It’s not satire if plausible... OR true.
Even Trump has said they are “safe and effective”
Pfizer Is Now Developing A Twice-Per-Day COVID Pill That Must Be Taken Alongside Vaccines
I know. I believe their news over any MSM news sites.
I know. They’re more believable than any MSM site.
For satire to be effective, satire must be rooted in some grain of truth (or words to that effect).
Love that Bee!
reminds me of the story i told when i was buying some bug spray and everything but the eco-green stuff was sold out, though there was a ton of the eco-green stuff on the shelf ... reading the fine print, i discovered why,namely the fine print said “Will not harm bugs.” ;-) ;-) ;-)
Tell that to my mother who’s had 3 weeks of HELL in the hospital with blood clots and protein spike and now stints. She was placed in a rehab center a couple days ago so weak her voice is unrecognizable. I’m not so sure she’s going to get over this or come home.
Yes, doctor and nurses say it was caused by the Pfizer vax. She was perfectly fine before the vax and immediately started down hill and now all this mess.
I’d vote for Trump again but he had major failures in each and every appointment. He was told wrong on the vax.
Yes and should not be posted. Ever. FR has too much bs as it is.
The truth needs to be told and told and told again.
I think that stuff is supposed to have a repellant effect. Probably worked in the lab.
Satire is perfectly valid. the world is full of BS and if you cant filter it yourself you have no business being out without a babysitter
God I love The Bee!
And the Fed’s don’t report adverse conditions because they don’t want their narrative to be questioned; take the jab or else.
>>> I’d vote for Trump again but he had major failures in each and every appointment. He was told wrong on the vax.
Trump proved that he is not up to the task of draining the swamp. He fired NOBODY. He kept MOST of Obama’s appointees.
He wasn’t just told wrong on the vax... He LIED about them.
If he was THAT led around, THAT deceived or fooled, and THAT misinformed about the “vaccines” (let alone the agenda behind them), then he is no leader. He is the ultimate RINO. He has had more than enough time to come clean on this. EVEN NOW... he is focused on lawsuits and election fraud while we are trying and FAILING to defend ourselves against a biological attack on multiple fronts.
He’s either the biggest DUPE of them all, or he is in on it.
In as far as voting for him, I think we already know that it doesn’t matter anymore. There’s no way the deep state is relinquishing power now... so I don’t really think we will even get the chance. We have been betrayed by an overwhelming majority of our representatives and senators, the US Supreme Court, as well as the military who were even willing to watch a suicide bomber kill 13 US troops when we had a drone lock on him. (It was reported that Biden refused to give clearance to fire because we were “negotiating” with the Taliban)
I will be voting for someone who actually understands what is going on... IF I get the chance to.
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