Posted on 11/29/2021 5:41:22 AM PST by sodpoodle
It snowed last night ... we received about 2 inches of snow … so …
8:00 am: I made a snowman.
8:10 - My feminist neighbor asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.
8:15 - So, I made a snow woman.
8:17 – Then my feminist neighbor complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest, saying it objectified women everywhere.
8:20 - The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snowmen instead.
8:22 - The transgender man ... woman ... person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts.
8:25 - The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and are not used to decorate snow figures.
8:28 - I was being called a racist because the snow couple is white.
8:30 – So, I used food coloring to make one of the snow couple a different color and be more racially inclusive.
8:37 - Then I was accused of using black face on the snowperson.
8:39 - The middle-eastern gent across the road demanded the snow woman be completely covered.
8:40 - The police arrived saying someone had been offended.
8:42 - The feminist neighbor complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needed to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.
8:43 - The 'council on equality' officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.
8:45 - TV news crew from ABC showed up. I was asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snowwomen? I replied "Snowballs" … so now I’m a sexist.
9:00 - I was on the news as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobe, misogynist, sexist, and sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.
9:10 - I was asked if I have any accomplices. My children were taken by social services.
9:29 - Far left protesters offended by everything marched down the street demanding that I be arrested.
9:45 - The boss called and fired me because of the negative association with work that had been all over social media.
10:00 – I’m crying in my beer because all I wanted to do was build a snowman ...
Moral: There is no moral to this story. It just shows what this world has become because of a bunch of snowflakes.
Hahaha good one! First laugh of my day! Thank you!
^^
This is 100% plausible.
How can there be snowflakes? We were promised global warming, dammit!
To enjoy life, we have to keep our humor in the backyard...haaa!!!
😝
8:28 am should have been - “Make snow ‘For Sale’ sign’
Time to vacate the neighborhood.
[ ‘snowballs’ - ha ha ha! ]
you should have made a snow Elvis impersonator, although I’m not sure how to make the pelvis. But it could have been a gay former woman.
“This is 100% plausible.”
Drat, beat me to it.
And we’re not joking.
The counter revolution cannot come soon enough, and it had better be brutal. Just as with zombies and other vile creatures, we’ll have to work hard to eliminate the threat of the leftists.
Best double tap with silver bullets, stake through the heart, burn the remains, and launch them into the sun.
Yes! Babylon Bee quality material!
This should have gone:
8:00 am: I made a snowman.
8:10 - My feminist neighbor asked me why I didn’t make a snow woman.
8:11 - I castigate my shrew of a neighbor for “assuming gender”
end
I can’t see any of my neighbors so I’m good !!
Exactly
Good one. Great laugh to start the day.
So here’s another one back at you....
This is why our young people cannot do math.
Johnny comes home from high school and tells his father that he is having trouble with his Algebra. The dad says, “let me look at it, I was always good with math, maybe I can help”.
The father looks at Johnny’s math and was confused. The problem was:
57G
__________ = CC
(WS X WR)
The dad was confused so he called the Math Teacher. He said, “this does not look like the Algebra I took, what do these variables mean”?
The teacher replied, “Oh this is an easy one. The problem reads”:
57 Genders divided by White Supremacy times White Racism equals how much climate change?
Modern variation on How To Build A Boat story.
roflmao
Cruel? Probably the best laugh I’ll have all day!
First response was where you went wrong. Should have been along the lines (politer, of course) of : “So, get off your fat butt and make your own.”
I built a snowman. My neighbor didn’t like it and complained.
I built another one. I used my neighbor as the base.
He’ll be OK once the snow melts.
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