We Asked 1,000 Christian Women What They Want In A Spouse - Here Are The Top Responses

The Babylon Bee ^ | June 30, 2022 | The Babylon Bee

[Tolerance Sucks Rocks]

Are you a single loser? Are you also a man? Love scientists with The Babylon Bee talked with 1000 actual real-live women and uncovered ten things Christian women are looking for in a man. Only you have the power to mold yourself into the ultimate man and win her heart.

Consider embodying one of these amazing qualities:

1. Boaz: If you are Boaz then you can stop reading this list right now. MMM, Boaz...
2. A man with the body of Henry Cavil and the brains of C.S. Lewis: This is the whole package!
3. A believer in the patriarchy who will provide for her and free her from the shackles of corporate America: Also see, Boaz.
4. A guy who doesn't want to have sex with you and then murder the child: This is a pretty important one.
5. A godly man who loves kids and puppies and is over 6' tall and muscular and really tan with fertile seed: This is the kind of man who will give her the freedom to be in the kitchen barefoot and pregnant like she's always wanted.
6. A guy with a completed AWANA vest: The only way to know he's truly godly. Boaz had one of these.
7. A dude who never complains about casseroles: Bonus points for loving burnt meatloaf.
8. A man who will wake her up at 4 a.m. to read the King James Bible to her: NIV readers need not apply.
9. Somebody who can open pickle jars and reach things on high shelves: Better get jacked, nerds!
10. A guy who can fold a fitted sheet: Dreamy! Just like MyPillow Giza Dream Sheets.

[Sacajaweau]

Money, looks, moral, kind........

[OKSooner]

Meh. Not The Bee's best stuff, which is admittedly a high standard.

If someone like OKS can marry better than he deserves, so can anyone else.

[Jonty30]

What women often say what they want, in terms a beta husband are at odds of what they respond to when they are in the presence of an alpha male.

[ptsal]

Bkmk

[Candor7]

They want hubbies who will allow them to be stay at home moms, home makers, while having a secret life on the web EARNING BEAUCOUP SHEKELS.?

[Flash Bazbeaux]

Boaz?

[Othniel77]

Read the book of Ruth.

[FamiliarFace]

My husband has 4 older sisters. He’s manly, smart, handsome, and knows better than to treat a good woman like dirt. My kind of guy!

[gitmo]

I failed at #10.
That’s an impossible task.

[MayflowerMadam]

The story of Boaz and Ruth is lovely.

[Jamestown1630]

My husband is also the only boy sibling in a big family of girls; he was the oldest. I think it’s definitely a plus.

[Harmless Teddy Bear]

A guy with a completed AWANA vest: The only way to know he's truly godly. Boaz had one of these.

Totally lost here. Have no idea what AWANA is.

But yeah my guy ranks pretty much ranks a ten. Doesn't have the body of Henry Cavil any more but I don't exactly have the body of Ann Margaret any more either.

Gravity.

It hates us.

[null and void]

I failed at #10.
That’s an impossible task.

No it's not. I can fold a fitted sheet neatly.

It does take a little fussing, but I CAN do it.

Did I mention that for the right gal, I might, just might, be available?...

[Restless]

The Bee usually makes me laugh. This one fell flat for me.

[Jonty30]

I can fold a fitted sheet into a tight ball, with elastic bands ensuring it stays as a tight ball.

[Clemenza]

If by “Alpha,” you mean Gary Cooper in “High Noon,” you are right. Women don’t respond well to bullies and control freaks (unless that have “daddy issue” mental illness).

[CivilWarBrewing]

Money, looks, moral, kind........

There, fixed it.

I don't think "moral" and "kind" matter until a woman hits AT LEAST her 30's, then it's too late.

[Steve Van Doorn]

Boaz was the great grandfather of King David from the bible. It was said he was generous to his future wife.
Gosh it's obvious from this poll that all women knew this.

[Jamestown1630]

There’s a trick to it - like that Japanese T-shirt folding technique:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ckTCocBCUN4