Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Aphorisms
Me - Unabashed vanity

Posted on 07/11/2023 4:12:45 PM PDT by FrozenAssets

I always enjoy aphorisms, especially the humorous country type.

They was a makin' more racket than a bunch of skeletons pitching a hissy fit on a tin roof!


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: 000001damnedvanity; aphorisms; noob; noobvanity; vanity
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-2021-28 next last

1 posted on 07/11/2023 4:12:45 PM PDT by FrozenAssets
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: FrozenAssets

I’m busier than if I had a cat covered in sh** on a marble floor


2 posted on 07/11/2023 4:13:37 PM PDT by PGR88
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: FrozenAssets

Joe Biden. Nuttier than squirrel turds.


3 posted on 07/11/2023 4:16:02 PM PDT by Responsibility2nd
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: FrozenAssets

Like lookin’ for a black cat in a coal mine....


4 posted on 07/11/2023 4:17:23 PM PDT by JBW1949 (I'm really PC.....Patriotically Correct)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: FrozenAssets

Many are thawed but feware frozen!


5 posted on 07/11/2023 4:18:59 PM PDT by sheik yerbouty ( Make America and the world a jihad free zone!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: sheik yerbouty

A game based upon this; it’s fun, play it frequently.
https://store.southernthing.com/products/jlmuts-super-bundle


6 posted on 07/11/2023 4:24:56 PM PDT by cephalopod
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 5 | View Replies]

To: FrozenAssets

Like lookin up a hog’s butt for a ham sandwich...


7 posted on 07/11/2023 4:40:14 PM PDT by gundog (It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen. )
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: FrozenAssets

Busier than a pair of jumper cables at a Mexican picnic.


8 posted on 07/11/2023 4:41:52 PM PDT by ArtDodger
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: FrozenAssets

Senator John Kennedy; “Washington is working harder than an Ugly Stripper to cover up for the Biden family!”


9 posted on 07/11/2023 4:42:54 PM PDT by lee martell
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: ArtDodger

Lower than a snake’s belly in a roadside ditch.


10 posted on 07/11/2023 4:44:20 PM PDT by FrozenAssets (You don't have to be crazy to live here, but it helps)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 8 | View Replies]

To: FrozenAssets

“Your house smells fresher than a clean litter-box!”


11 posted on 07/11/2023 4:44:40 PM PDT by RoosterRedux
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: FrozenAssets

Hanging on like a senator hugging a barrel of bacon.


12 posted on 07/11/2023 4:45:57 PM PDT by FrozenAssets (You don't have to be crazy to live here, but it helps)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 10 | View Replies]

To: FrozenAssets

I once read a description of a Harpsichord that it sounded like 2 skeletons copulating on a tin roof.


13 posted on 07/11/2023 4:51:28 PM PDT by mitch5501 ("make your calling and election sure:for if ye do these things ye shall never fall")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: cephalopod

The wife and I play a little word game where you make up the name and honorific of a very unlikely head of state. Extra points for alliteration.
for example:
Melvin the Mediocre or Ludwig the Ludicrous.


14 posted on 07/11/2023 5:00:25 PM PDT by FrozenAssets (You don't have to be crazy to live here, but it helps)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 6 | View Replies]

To: FrozenAssets

More nervous than a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs


15 posted on 07/11/2023 5:06:31 PM PDT by coincheck (Salvation is for today, not tomorrow, you might not make it that far.....)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: FrozenAssets

Loving you is like cooking bacon nekkid.


16 posted on 07/11/2023 5:15:56 PM PDT by left that other site (Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: FrozenAssets
Jed Clampett was always good for a few. My favorite:

That fella's tighter than the strings on a two dollar fiddle...

17 posted on 07/11/2023 5:20:11 PM PDT by fhayek
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: FrozenAssets

Happier than a pitbull in a preschool playground.


18 posted on 07/11/2023 5:23:51 PM PDT by bunnie911 (But resist, we much, we must, and we will much, about, that...be committed)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: FrozenAssets

That road’s crookeder than a dog’s hind leg.


19 posted on 07/11/2023 5:29:07 PM PDT by gitmo (If your theology doesn’t become your biography, what good is it?)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: FrozenAssets

That thing runs faster than a scalded dog.


20 posted on 07/11/2023 5:29:56 PM PDT by gitmo (If your theology doesn’t become your biography, what good is it?)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-2021-28 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson