Posted on 12/07/2023 11:04:29 AM PST by Tolerance Sucks Rocks
FAYETTEVILLE, AR — As the December days began to tick away, a local man grew so desperate in his attempt to buy his wife a great Christmas gift that he decided to reach out to the National Security Agency to find out what she wants.
"I figured it's my best shot," said Willard McBane. "She's always so difficult to buy for, and she doesn't ever give me any hints, so I knew I needed to bring the NSA in on this one."
At first, Willard's attempts to ask for help were subtle. "I just started speaking out loud whenever I was around my phone or near our Amazon Alexa," he said. "I'd just wonder aloud to myself ‘Gee, I wonder what Margaret wants for Christmas this year.' It didn't seem to yield any results, so I decided I needed to contact the NSA directly."
A spokesman for the NSA acknowledged that the agency began receiving phone calls and emails from McBane last week. "Yes, I can confirm that we were contacted by a Mr. Willard McBane," said Agent Dan Henry. "I am not at liberty to divulge the details of our conversations with Mr. McBane at this time, nor am I able to confirm whether or not we advised him that his wife would really love a 64-ounce Stanley Quencher insulated tumbler with a straw, preferably in the Rose Quartz Glow color."
At publishing time, Willard had reportedly received the information he was seeking and had also advised the NSA that he would appreciate it if they would somehow get word to Margaret that he would prefer it if she stopped putting green peppers in her chili.
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
Just buy diamonds, and save the receipt.
Now that one was cute. 🙂
We also know, that you will return it if it is not of the caliber you desire, with the hint to save the receipt. 🤣
Dear NSA,
Does my wife have a boyfriend? Asking for a friend...
Ooops and so did I!
The Bee almost had me on this one.....then I got wise to them.
I never return things! (I just exchange them if they’re not my style :-)
Seriously, jewelry and (the right) perfume are always good bets...
No Such Agency told me this was a “Bee Sting” through the radio implant in my teeth.
Women love this.
Beer Ring Top Drink Beverage Lifter by Kitchen Tools
https://www.amazon.com/Opener-Drink-Beverage-Lifter-Kitchen/dp/B017PYBYD0?source=ps-sl-shoppingads-lpcontext&ref_=fplfs&psc=1&smid=A16184AQYRFGZZ
Yes, saves the manicure you also bought us.
Exactly, it protects their nails and they also appreciate a walkie-talkie so that you don’t have to whistle or yell when you need a fresh beer and you are outside or in the garage.
That’s priceless!
Well, you may choose not to call it returning a gift, but an exchange requires the return of the original gift. 🤣
My wife keeps the one I gave her, but then goes out & spends the money to buy the one she wanted in the first place. Which is why I know exactly which one she wants. It's not hard because she has told me well in advance which one she wanted. 🤣
Sometimes though I enjoy seeing the disappointment on her face, so I will buy both the one she wants, as well as, the inferior one that is along the same line. I'll give her the inferior one, and pretend I am disappointed by her lack of enthusiasm. After all presents have been opened, I will ask her to bring some form of snack or refreshment . Upon her return I will then present her with the one she wanted. 🤣
I honestly don't believe she is fooled, because she has me trained & she knows t. But she will play along to make me think I have gotten over on her. 😋
Yes, by now I guess she’s NOT fooled.
I’m really easy to buy for - I’m so old and have had so many birthdays, Christmases and anniversaries, that I don’t need any more jewelry.
I ask for kitchen gadgets :-)
What? There are not returns or complaints after either.
Yeah, aren’t we all. She wanted an air fryer. So far, with at least a year gone by, it remains as clean as the day I bought it, because it hasn’t been used even once. 😋
I once bought a bracelet for my girlfriend and then returned it for a much less expensive one. She bugged me about how much it cost and showed her the receipt for the first one. She was impressed.
We used ours exactly twice. Had it a year, and gave it away a few weeks ago. Took up too much space, and gave disappointing results.
I know lots of folks love them, but for us it was useless. (We’re not worried about fat anyway.)
You should have married that one. A frugal wife is a blessing.
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