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10 Achievements Biden Covered During The State Of The Union
Babylon Bee ^
| Mar 7, 2024
| Babylon Bee
Posted on 03/08/2024 10:53:37 AM PST by dayglored
Another State of the Union address is upon us! As frightening as that may be to hear, it is important for the American people to hear from the president and find out about all the things that have been accomplished in the last year.
Here are the top accomplishments Biden covered during his speech:
- Creation of several brand new words: This will be accomplished just during the speech itself.
- Finalization of the Louisiana Purchase: He will announce he hammered out the deal with Napoleon last week.
- The Mexico-Egypt border has been totally secured and there are no problems down there whatsoever: But if there is a problem, it's the MAGA Republicans' fault.
- War with Samoa has been averted: Diplomacy has won out despite Biden's primary loss on Tuesday.
- Unprecedented financial security for Ukrainian oligarchs: We can't allow these dear people to face retirement without a solid nest egg.
- Imported millions of new voters: It's a brand new America, folks.
- Raised dementia awareness: Americans have never been so keenly aware of the signs of senility.
- Record number of military personnel wearing skirts: Some of them are even women.
- Earned a gold star for going potty in the toilet three days in a row: Breaking his personal record.
- Became the first president in history to bring the country to the brink of civil war, revolutionary war, and world war simultaneously: The history books are being re-written right before our eyes.
Looking at the list above, it's plain to see that it's ridiculous for anyone to claim Joe Biden doesn't do anything. Just think of what he could do with four more years!
TOPICS: Business/Economy; Humor; Society
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; biden; satire; sotu
It's The BEE!!
1
posted on
03/08/2024 10:53:37 AM PST
by
dayglored
To: dayglored
I think a couple of them maybe true.
2
posted on
03/08/2024 11:01:28 AM PST
by
Freeper
(My authority? I can read, do logic and math plus words have meanings!)
To: dayglored
From December 2020...
3
posted on
03/08/2024 11:02:49 AM PST
by
BenLurkin
(The above is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion, or satire, or both.)
To: dayglored
Became the first president in history to bring the country to the brink of civil war, revolutionary war, and world war simultaneously: The history books are being re-written right before our eyes. Yeah, it's the Bee but this one's spot on.
4
posted on
03/08/2024 11:28:17 AM PST
by
GOPJ
(Question: What are the two things Biden finds at ice cream shops? A. Ice cream and young children.)
To: dayglored
Spent money like a drunken sailor on nothing
To: dayglored
And they call it again......
6
posted on
03/08/2024 12:50:22 PM PST
by
metmom
(He who testifies to these things says, “Surely I am coming soon.” Amen. Come, Lord Jesus…)
To: metmom; GOPJ
It's kinda scary how they have their finger so closely on what's actually happening.
The Bee says the quiet part out loud.
Thank God they make it funny, because otherwise I'd have to cry.
7
posted on
03/08/2024 1:29:48 PM PST
by
dayglored
(Strange Women Lying In Ponds Distributing Swords! Arthur Pendragon in 2024)
To: dayglored
8
posted on
03/08/2024 1:34:30 PM PST
by
Chgogal
(Welcome to Fuhrer Biden's Weaponized Fascist Banana Republic! It's the road to hell.)
To: dayglored
The Bee says the quiet part out loud. Thank God they make it funny, because otherwise I'd have to cry. You're right - often it's painful - too close to the truth. Thanks for sharing dayglored.
9
posted on
03/08/2024 8:07:46 PM PST
by
GOPJ
(Question: What are the two things Biden finds at ice cream shops? A. Ice cream and young children.)
To: GOPJ
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