Half-Baked (Freeper Doctor Raoul makes the NY Observer)

The New York Observer ^ | 4/26/04 | George Gurley

[abner]

If you click on the link, you will get the cached page.

Here is the snippet of the article from The Observer.

Half-Baked

The two goals of a bake sale benefiting the left-wing grassroots organization MoveOn.org on the afternoon of April 17 were to "bake back the White House" (in other words, regime change) and to make it into the Guinness Book of World Records as the greatest bake sale ever. Three hours into it, a line was still stretching around the block from Teany, Moby’s vegan café on the Lower East Side, and by the time it was over, 1,500 customers had purchased $10,000 worth of baked goods at simultaneous bake sales nationwide. A total of $750,000 was raised. (Since that day, the powers that be at Guinness have decided not to designate anyone for the "biggest bake sale" category.)

Among the celebrity draws on Rivington Street were Al Sharpton, Janeane Garofalo, comedian David Cross, glam-rock star Rene Risque, John Cameron Mitchell of Hedwig fame and restaurateur Rocco DiSpirito, who were all toiling under a sign that read "A Village in Texas is Missing Its Idiot."

But getting the most attention was Al Franken.

"Tell the truth, Al, keep telling the truth!" someone hollered at him as he licked some more frosting off his fingers. According to two sources (event organizer Laura Dawn and investigative reporter Greg Palast), Mr. Franken had at times that day eaten more than he was worth.

But the satirist and liberal radio host was working hard, selling cupcakes, brownies, cookies, shaking hands, signing autographs. So he took a breather across the street and crouched down outside a bodega. There, he was asked about President Bush’s recent press conference.

"I was shocked," he said. "The emperor has no clothes. This is a guy who could not talk on his feet. Obviously, he has no depth of knowledge."

He continued on about his latest U.S.O. tour to Iraq, but something was distracting him: a guy nearby wearing a Saddam Hussein mask, an oversized "Ace of Spades" shirt and a sign that read "Save Me, Vote Democrat." Mr. Franken, who was wearing a button that read "Re-defeat Bush," heard the man say something about Jamie Gorelick, the controversial former Clinton Justice Department official serving on the 9/11 commission.

"Uh, I gotta argue with this guy for a minute," Mr. Franken said, getting up.

"I just want to say hi to this guy. Hi, how are you? You want to discuss Jamie Gorelick?"

"Well, I want a Jamie Gorelick muffin, but I want it grilled, not half-baked," said the man, who sounded a lot like sleight-of-hand artist and Mamet-movie regular Ricky Jay. (It wasn’t him; the man identified himself as Raoul.) Mr. Franken gently placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Would you like to discuss—"

"Uh, keep your hands off me, please. You have no right to put your hands on people, Al."

"O.K. Would you like to discuss Jamie Gorelick?"

"I want a Jamie Gorelick muffin grilled, not half-baked," Raoul said again.

By now, there were several dozen people encircling the two men. Cameras were clicking and videotape rolling for a documentary on Mr. Franken, who explained to Raoul that Ms. Gorelick had "simply codified rules that were already in place during Reagan and Bush I, and that John Ashcroft had reaffirmed those same rules."

"So you’re asking for a Jamie Gorelick—"

"Grilled muffin," Raoul said. "Grilled Jamie Gorelick muffin. Not half-baked."

"You can say that over and over again, but it’s not responsive to my point."

"I want a Jamie Gorelick muffin grilled. I don’t want a half-baked Jamie Gorelick muffin. A half-baked Jamie Gorelick muffin is hazardous to your health. Your Jamie Gorelick must be grilled."

"Hey Al, I read your book—it was great!" someone yelled.

Mr. Franken thanked Raoul for his time and started walking over to his fans.

"Al, Al!" Raoul yelled. "Your audience just tripled. Air America’s ratings have doubled!" But Mr. Franken didn’t hear him. With the crowd following him, he’d moved on to go sell some more cupcakes.

—George Gurley

[GeronL]

BIG BUMP with a side order of Biggie Fries.

[piasa]

You realize, of course, that Kerry is just shooting for the Dem's VP nomination...

The way they're going, Kofi Annan is going to be their pick for the top of the Democrat ticket.

[wita]

I hope you are keeping notes. You could write the book on making mince meat out of the opposition. Thanks for your contributions, to right, reason, common sense, freedom, liberty, and a thousand other ideas lost in the vast waste land of liberalism.

[Doctor Raoul]

Thanks, long time no see. How's "The General"?

The Saddam outfit is neat, but no match for "The General".

[conservatism_IS_compassion]

Cameras were clicking and videotape rolling for a documentary on Mr. Franken, who explained to Raoul that Ms. Gorelick had "simply codified rules that were already in place during Reagan and Bush I, and that John Ashcroft had reaffirmed those same rules."

"(W)e believe that it is prudent to establish a set of instructions that will clearly separate the counterintelligence investigation from the more limited, but continued, criminal investigations. These procedures, which go beyond what is legally required, will prevent any risk of creating an unwarranted appearance that FISA (Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act) is being used to avoid procedural safeguards which would apply in a criminal investigation." - Jamie Gorelick, 1995

[conservatism_IS_compassion]

Mr. Franken, who explained to Raoul that . . . John Ashcroft had reaffirmed those same rules."

If the question is whether Ashcroft was wrong in not instantly negating all rule changes made during the Clinton Administration, the answer is "Yes."

But then, Bush doesn't have a partisan bone in his body, and the Senate Democrats had tried everything - even unto complaining about the fact that Senator Ashcroft (a former state prosecutor and governor) is a devout Christian - to drum up opposition to him and to "put him on notice" not to be too Christian or too Republican.

So your point, Mr. Franken, is exactly what?