Mortar shell? Maybe they expect to find a much different caliber:
Posted on 06/02/2004 4:55:13 PM PDT by presidio9
This is the dream. It involves a shiny cool small premium new car and a big happy beautiful dog sticking his head out the window and a longish solo road trip up the West Coast from San Francisco to the northern tip of Idaho in the middle of the summer.
There is music playing. There is a huge sunroof open at all times. There is a small cooler full of ginger beer and spelt pretzels and Odwalla bars and organic turkey sandwiches. There is an in-dash CD multichanger loaded with dirtystupidfun '80s hard rock and badass electronica and Rufus Wainwright and AC/DC and Rachael Yamagata and Velvet Revolver.
This particular drive is a mere 17 hours long and consists of some seriously butt-ugly landscape (Central California) and then some of the most breathtakingly lovely and tree-engorged (Oregon), but it really doesn't matter. It's the trip that counts. It's the getting out. It is the escape. Isn't it?
It's a peculiar all-American dream, the road trip, the fast exit, the get-me-the-f---out-of-here-I'm-going-insane, one that must be tattooed onto our very cells at birth and emerging from I'm not sure whence but attracting me like some sort of happy patriotic narcotic, creating such an itch that it absolutely must be scratched at some point despite three-dollar gas prices and air pollution like a BushCo pastime and more cars per capita than occurrences of raw unbridled love.
Flying? Ptew. Flying has become this gross convoluted nightmare of overbooked ticketing hassles and massive lines and bogus Orange Alerts and of completely disrobing at security checkpoints for the displeasure of disgruntled security personnel who for some goddamn reason are trained to believe you might be harboring a live mortar shell in your belt. Hence, driving across the country is, shall we say, more alluring than ever.
(Excerpt) Read more at sfgate.com ...
I can't decide if he writes in such a manner out of sexual frustration or, because some guy has just boinked his brains out.
Morford is trying to buy a dog?
Quick! Somebody give PETA and the SPCA a call.
I'm sure that the kind of companionship Morford is looking for would not be a pleasant experience for the dog.
morford ping
I've always thought that Morford is an example of what happens when somebody is buggered too often.
He already takes a road trip down the hershey highway.
Mortar shell? Maybe they expect to find a much different caliber:
Well, we all knew it wouldn't be a puss.
He just discovered road trips, and brings along organic turkey sandwiches? That's soooo gay.
It's a miracle he didn't take along a bratwurst.
I can't decide if he writes in such a manner out of sexual frustration or, because some guy has just boinked his brains out.
The latter. Someone just gave Morford a sound rogering up the Hershey Highway.
All of these guys, perhaps? 
Be Seeing You,
Chris
We know why Ms. Morford needs one...
My guess is, he was searching for some manly hunks among the rough-and-ready Idaho Militia.
Or, maybe he just likes eating organic turkey sandwiches on the road?
He blames Republicans for polluting California, eventhough the state just got out of 8 years of Clintoon and 5 years of Davis. What a moron.
"butt ugly California" and "tree engorged Oregon", my guess is he had quite a trip in the sack.
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