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Daughter: Kerry Showed Love By Saving Hampster (Private Hampster Makes the Wires!)
San Jose Mercury News ^ | 7/30/04

Posted on 07/30/2004 7:25:22 AM PDT by gopwinsin04

In a prime time address to the Democratic National Convention and millions of Americans at home, Alexandta Kerry stepped to the microphone Thursday night with a mission: Help humanize her father, a man plagued with descriptives such as 'aloof' and 'distant.'

The younger Kerry told how, when they were youngsters, her sister Vanessa has insisted on taking her pet hampster on the family vacation.

While the family was on the dock waiting for a boat to pick them up, the family's golden retriever became tangled in its leash and bumped the hampster cage, knocking it into the water.

As the cage sank beneath the waves, Alexandra continued, her father--the future Democratic nominee for president--'grabbed an oar, fished the cage from the water, hunched over the soggy hampster and began to administer CPR.'

'There were some reports of mouth to mouth, but I admit it's probably a trick of memory', Alexandra said.

He was never quite right after that, but Licorice lived.'

(Excerpt) Read more at mercurynews.com ...


TOPICS: Extended News; News/Current Events; Political Humor/Cartoons; Politics/Elections; US: Massachusetts
KEYWORDS: dncconvention; hamster; kerry; lemmiwinks; lies
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To: TigersEye
savingprivatehamster
41 posted on 07/30/2004 7:54:59 AM PDT by Howlin (Saving Private Hamster)
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To: gopwinsin04
...the future Democratic nominee for president--'grabbed an oar, fished the cage from the water, hunched over the soggy hampster and began to administer CPR.'

This is indeed a man of many facets.

In one lifetime he's torturing, mutilating and murdering innocent Vietnamese and in another he's breathing life into a dying hamster!

What a pile of crap is this DemocRAT candidate, and what a pile of crap is this socialist RAT party! Watching their "convention" is a study in subhumanism.

42 posted on 07/30/2004 7:55:06 AM PDT by JesseHousman (Execute Mumia Abu-Jamal)
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To: gopwinsin04

If only Mary Jo had been a hamster, Teddy the Swimmer might have saved her.


43 posted on 07/30/2004 7:55:07 AM PDT by TheRightGuy (ERROR CODE 018974523: Random Tagline Compiler Failure)
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To: Cagey

Hamster.....and, under heavy enemy fire, he turned the boat around and plucked me out.



(((( lmao )))) very funny ;)


44 posted on 07/30/2004 7:55:43 AM PDT by SunnySide
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To: gopwinsin04

I, for one, commend him for his hamster rescue. It's not quite enough to get me to vote for him, but if he gets elected at least I'll be able to say, "well, he saved that hamster, so maybe he's not so bad."


45 posted on 07/30/2004 7:56:39 AM PDT by Flashlight
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To: dead
Richard Gere is intently following this story..


46 posted on 07/30/2004 7:57:00 AM PDT by gopwinsin04
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To: gopwinsin04

Actually, he thought it was a RAT and future voter, thus his only reason for trying to save it.


47 posted on 07/30/2004 7:58:58 AM PDT by NorseWood
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To: gopwinsin04

48 posted on 07/30/2004 8:01:55 AM PDT by Cagey
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To: Howlin
... Alexandra said. "He was never quite right after that, but Licorice lived."

I'm glad that Licorice lived but, Alex, your Daddy was never quite right.

49 posted on 07/30/2004 8:02:43 AM PDT by TigersEye (Your parents are Pro-Choice? You're lucky to be here!)
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To: gopwinsin04

Who gives a F@%^&%*#@ ballon hoot what she doaes. Kerry is over. Let her eat cake from her nutty moms bank account.


50 posted on 07/30/2004 8:03:00 AM PDT by Dallas59
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To: Velveeta

That's one of the first emails I received!


51 posted on 07/30/2004 8:03:13 AM PDT by Sacajaweau (God Bless Our Troops!!)
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To: dead

The graphic is perfect! Just add a little Breck Girl hair for Edwards..


52 posted on 07/30/2004 8:03:51 AM PDT by gopwinsin04
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To: mountaineer
Was the hamster's name Raggot?

The Sad Tale of Raggot

53 posted on 07/30/2004 8:07:25 AM PDT by Hillary's Lovely Legs (Mama say that gators are ornery 'cuz they got all them teeth and no toothbrush.)
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To: gopwinsin04
"And now you know, The Rest Of the Story..."

New Kerry campaign theme song

54 posted on 07/30/2004 8:11:04 AM PDT by Diddle E. Squat
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To: counterpunch

Aw man, my mom tossed out my original issue of the Chappaquiddick Anniversary special. I hear this issue is worth a fortune now.


55 posted on 07/30/2004 8:11:07 AM PDT by Socratic (Yes, there is method in the madness.)
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To: gopwinsin04

"I'm John Kerry and I'm reporting for dootie."


56 posted on 07/30/2004 8:13:27 AM PDT by OESY
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To: Hillary's Lovely Legs
I always make my gerbil strap on a tiny hard-hat wth one of those miner's lights on it, just in case.

Heh heh heh.

57 posted on 07/30/2004 8:13:30 AM PDT by mountaineer
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To: gopwinsin04
'He was never quite right after that, but Licorice lived.'

Should be:
"She was never quite right after that, but Teresa lived."

58 posted on 07/30/2004 8:15:27 AM PDT by Semper Vigilantis (JFK's right for once: Help IS on the way - and it's spelled B-U-S-H)
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To: Semper Vigilantis

LMAO!


59 posted on 07/30/2004 8:17:02 AM PDT by gopwinsin04
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To: Diddle E. Squat

I hate that hamster dance.


60 posted on 07/30/2004 8:20:00 AM PDT by O.C. - Old Cracker (When the cracker gets old, you wind up with Old Cracker. - O.C.)
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