40 Reasons why the US is Better than Britain (humor) - a British response.

[jpthomas]

I like your "Wooly Pullies" better than ours. I bought some wool "sweaters" while shopping at a NAAFI store in the former British occupation zone of northern Germany. I was stationed in Braunschweig at the time. They kept me warm during some awful German winters when the sun would disappear for weeks at a time.

We were stationed too far from the U.S. sector to pick up the U.S. armed forces TV and radio networks. We could, and did, however, listen to the British armed forces radio network. After all, how could I get by without knowing the latest snookers results?

My U.S. military ID permitted me access to the British bases and NAAFIs. The only problem I ever had was understanding the gate guards. They seemed to have a universally thick Cockney accent (probably intensified deliberably when they spied my US ID). One queried me three times before I comprehended the phrase: "'ave you 'ad a look under your bonnet?" Fortunately my American accent probably made me an unlikely IRA terrorist candidate.

[mgist]

31. We don't eat raw corn.

I resent that statement. Who the heck eats raw corn in the US? Certainly not my cousin/hubby Billy Bob and me. I didn't know they had corn in Britain and those other African countries. You learn something new everyday.

[Ditter]

You don't seem to know the original meaning of the term "redneck". Originally they *all* came from the British Isles.

[moondoggie]

Your sense of "humor" escapes me.

I know how to spell it, too.

[FatherofFive]

There was a reason GB was better than the US, but it is no longer relevant since Clinton is gone --

"When you approach the head of state, you only have to get down on one knee!"

[Poseidon]

1. Michael Moore
-He's probably of British descent...
2. You don't have any custard
-Of course we do, many varieties...
3. You invented McDonalds
-You just don't like the Scottish name...and you're jealous!
4, Our military are peacemakers.
-I wonder if THEY agree...
5. We know a few things about the U.S., whereas you know next to nothing about the UK.
-We know all we need to know - we kicked your a$$e$ 200 years ago and we defended your a$$e$ 60 years ago.
6. We have a sense of humour (and we even know how to spell it)
-Prove it.
7. We don't rely on therapy or Prozac to lead a "normal" life
-Your social intercourse is a form of Prozac.
8. We understand irony.
-How ironic.
9. We can watch TV for ten full minutes without a 15 minute commercial break
-After 10 minutes of your TV I'd welcome a 15 minute commercial break.
10. We are 6 times less likely to be murdered in the UK than you are in the US
-Based upon what statistics?
11. We are 60 times less likely to be shot in the UK than you are in the US
-That must be because your military are ppeacemakers.
12. We don't feel that we have to own firearms to protect ourselves from our own government.
-Because you're perfectly happy being subservient to mother government...that's why we left in the first place.
.
.
16. British beer doesn't taste like diluted gnats urine.
-We don't drink diluted gnats urine.
17. We don't have rednecks (at least, if we do, they don't actually have red necks)
-We don't have "subjects".
18. We can drive around corners and most of our cars can manage more than 10 miles to the gallon.
-Corners? What's withall of those roundabouts?
19. We are intelligent enough to use a manual gearbox
-We're intelligent enough to invent automatic transmissions thus negating the need for a manual gearbox.
20. We are not all obese.
-Your food sucks!
21. Yorkshire pudding.
-See #20 above.
.
.
This is just too easy!

[moondoggie]

70. No British Prime Minister has ever been caught with his pants down in 10 Downing Street.

But our Royal Family more than makes up for that:-)

[Incorrigible]

Tony,

This could be your new standard reply to the Brit Bashing threads!

[Capriole]

42. We don't deny healthcare to a large proportion of our population because they can't pay.

Now, this is absolutely untrue. Studying this is my job, so I can tell you: nobody is denied excellent healthcare in the US because of an inability to pay. If you're old and/or poor, Medicare, Medicaid, hospital insurance plans or local government plans pick up the tab for your health care, and the care you receive is as good as, probably better than, British health care.

But the socialist healthcare system of the UK drives rich Britons to the US for serious procedures lest they die waiting for treatment. You don't notice rich Americans going to England for major operations or cancer treatment. You want the best care in the world, you come here.

[Rudder]

6. We have a sense of humour...

You're kidding, right?

[moondoggie]

42. We don't deny healthcare to a large proportion of our population because they can't pay.

That explains your high tax burden?

[shellshocked]

Having lived in England, most of those items are not true.

[shellshocked]

"70. No British Prime Minister has ever been caught with his pants down in 10 Downing Street. "

The brits don't have sex. "NO sex, please, we're British!", the book.

[Redbob]

"12. We don't feel that we have to own firearms to protect ourselves from our own government."

Well, it's not only to protect us from "our" government - it's a holdover from a time when we bore firearms to protect us from YOUR government.

And that worked so wonderfully well, we just decided to keep them!

[moondoggie]

18. We can drive around corners and most of our cars can manage more than 10 miles to the gallon.

But we don't pay $5 a gallon for gas:-)

[DainBramage]

101. "We got to in a fight with the Germans and were able to talk the yanks into saving our asses"

[Gorzaloon]

Some really good hits here. But some demand responses in the same spirit:

You invented McDonalds

Wimpy's.

Our military are peacemakers.

Lexington

We know a few things about the U.S., whereas you know next to nothing about the UK.

"Dallas" vs. "Monty Python"

We don't rely on therapy or Prozac to lead a "normal" life

Government subsidizes Barley Crop. Pubs close after lunch so people will bother going back to work.

We don't feel that we have to own firearms to protect ourselves from our own government.

Which is why the National Health can be inflicted without a whimper.

British beer doesn't taste like diluted gnats urine.

Nolo contendere.. :-(

We don't have rednecks (at least, if we do, they don't actually have red necks)

They have Yorkshire accents.

We can drive around corners and most of our cars can manage more than 10 miles to the gallon.

Yup. My Jag gets 17.

Our accents don't sound vulgar.

Which is why there are schools for upward-yearning career people to learn BBC accents and ditch the Working Class Pompey that holds them back.

We don't hate people just because they are different to us.

Seumas McManus, "History of the Irish Race".

We have more attractive women here per head of population than you have.

Sulk, slink.

We don't have to buy our drinking water from other countries

Though Stella Artois, essentially the same thing, is dragged across the Channel by the boatload.

We don't deny healthcare to a large proportion of our population because they can't pay.

You surely get what you pay for it, too.

We don't marry our cousins & call the offspring Billy-Bob or Mary-Lou

No, they are called "Royalty".

All in all though, a goodly number of non-answerable hits in the post.

[moondoggie]

20. We are not all obese.

Fergie and Churchhill were just "pleasantly plump".

[katana]

We do so have a sense of humor (yur spellign exseption is dully knowted and hallowed). We also respect and honor Great Britain's past imperial glory. It made for such wonderful sub-plots to so many Shirley Temple movies.

[angel-of-death]

28, more attractive women

COUGH COUGH british women are ugly also.

go to france or sweden or estonia for some hot women.

NOT the uk.