Pyongyang targets longhairs ("body hair sucks up valuable food")

The World Tribune ^ | January 11, 2005

[Stoat]

Pyongyang targets longhairs

Special to World Tribune.com EAST-ASIA-INTEL.COMTuesday, January 11, 2005

The North Korean media is reporting a new way for people to conserve energy during prolonged periods of economic hardship and hunger.

The state TV network has reported that body hair sucks up valuable food, and that long hair actually "consumes a great deal of nutrition."

 

The importance of good grooming. . .
 

The unfortunate result, according to Pyongyang TV, is that energy that could go to brain cells instead is wasted on hair.

The broadcast offered no scientific evidence to back up the claim, but there’s evidence aplenty of the government’s determination to cut off at the roots what has been an alarming trend to imitate hairstyles imported from across the Yalu and Tumen Rivers in China –- or even from Korean-Japanese business people visiting Pyongyang.

The TV broadcasts appear part of well-orchestrated campaign that reflects a much deeper concern — that foreign influence is spreading among the capital's elite as a result of foreign embassies and non-governmental organizations.

In programming that resembles police videos and reality shows on Western TV, Pyongyang TV has been showing images of people with long hair as captured on hidden cameras.

There was no doubt that those unlucky enough to fall in the camera’s eye were definitely having a bad hair day. For some, the issue may well be whether the barber’s razor will cut off unruly hair, or unruly heads.

No one, pressed for why he failed to get a haircut "in accordance with socialist lifestyle," was prepared to make a fashion statement. The most common answer was lack of time. Others were caught on camera walking hastily away from confrontation with the inquiring reporter.

It is unclear whether the campaign is aimed at specific members of the elite or was another sign of the divisions among factions and families, including that of "Dear Leader" Kim Jong-Il.

Under the circumstances, the video might have been billed as the North Korean version of lifestyles of the rich and famous.

The fact that the Pyongyang media opened the campaign amid reports of a power struggle swirling around Kim Jong-Il fueled suspicions as Rodong Sinmun, the party newspaper, reported signs of the type of decadence that the regime is pledged to combat.

The consequences of such bad habits in grooming and dress, said the paper, could bring a nation "to ruin."

The paper did not say if North Korea specifically was on the brink of ruin, but advised those "who wear other’s style of dress and live in other’s styles will become fools."

Pyongyang Radio echoed the theme. A neat and well-groomed appearance, said one commentary, "is important in repelling the enemies’ maneuvers to infiltrate corrupt capitalist ideas and lifestyle."

[Stoat]

Haven't had enough?

Official Homepage - Democratic Peoples Republic of Korea (DPRK, North Korea)

[shibumi]

"The unfortunate result, according to Pyongyang TV, is that energy that could go to brain cells instead is wasted on hair. "

I guess this accounts for Fabio's IQ.

[Salamander]

I'm printing this out as an excuse for the next time I commit a remarkable, random act of ditziness.

[carumba]

So the pinko commie liberals here should take a bath and get a haircut if they want to march lockstep with one of the last bastions of totalitarian communism. Longhair liberals pushing for communism just can't anticipate what losing freedom means. State mandated hygiene doesn't sound reasonable to me. But I can see a future where incrementally we get there. No butter on yer popcorn. No sugar on yer Cheerios. No meat. A rotten potato (potatoe). Get on an inner tube and paddle to Havana.

[shibumi]

Did I forget to mention that the effect is reversed in beautiful redheads and brunettes?

[codyjacksmom]

So I guess this means my brains are resting on my a**.

[jaykay]

energy that could go to brain cells instead is wasted on hair

That explains OBL and the rest of the islamist brain beard trust.

[Stoat]

Did I forget to mention that the effect is reversed in beautiful redheads and brunettes?

Raquel Welch: No Obvious Nutritional Deficiencies

[shibumi]

"State mandated hygiene doesn't sound reasonable to me. But I can see a future where incrementally we get there. No butter on yer popcorn. No sugar on yer Cheerios. No meat"

I recommend the movie "Demolition Man" W/Sylvester Stallone and Wesley Snipes.

[Salamander]

Yes and you also neglected to translate it into *Latin* for me....;))

[Salamander]

Since that comment could be interpreted at least 2 ways, for your sake I'm *hoping* you have very long hair hair!....;))

[Salamander]

Another picture of health:

[shibumi]

The 5AM approximate translation would be something like:

"Abscindo rubellus retexo effectum."

(Apologies if my syntax or case is tired.)

[Mad Mammoth]

Haven't had enough?


We've had enough.

[Salamander]

(Apologies if my syntax or case is tired.)

Oh ~yeah~ Shibumi....as if *I* would know the difference!...;))


[yer just too sweet for yer own good]

[T'wit]

This would seem to call for revision of the Communist Internationale:

Arise, ye prisoners of starvation!
Arise, ye wretched of the earth!
To get a better mealtime ration,
We'll keep you shaved and bald from birth!

[samtheman]

I don't like Keith Olbermann, but I have to admit he came up with a good one last night when he was reporting on this story:

Kim Jong-Il is putting the barber in barbarism.

[elli1]

I guess this means that Kim Bad-Hair-Day Il Jong will be getting a buzz cut.

[zerosix]

Somehow Kim Jung Il missed this one.

NK's leader for life must spend as much time back combing as he does planning which NK province to starve this month.

[codyjacksmom]

"Since that comment could be interpreted at least 2 ways, for your sake I'm *hoping* you have very long hair hair!....;))"

You know, I just couldn't come up with a clear way to say that. I already changed "sitting" to "resting". And yes, I have very long hair. ROTFLMAO