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Your Favorite Johnny Carson Joke?
Free Republic Vanity Kind-of ^ | 01/23/2005 | gortklattu

Posted on 01/23/2005 11:57:30 AM PST by gortklattu

Just the Jokes, OK?

Johnny: "Sis - Boom - Bah

ED: "Sim - boom - bah

Johnny: What sound does an exploding sheep make?


TOPICS: News/Current Events; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: johnny; johnnycarson
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To: Robe
Johnny.........."Wow, It sure Is cold today"
ED.............."How cold was it"
Johnny.........."I saw a dog stuck to a telephone pole"


141 posted on 01/23/2005 3:14:02 PM PST by Gondring (They can have my Bill of Rights when they pry it from my cold, dead hands!)
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To: NorCalRepub

Za Za Gabor

I remember that one like it was yesterday. The best part of it he was serious or the best comedian in the world. Probably the latter.

Mere


142 posted on 01/23/2005 3:14:27 PM PST by Mere
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To: Theresawithanh

This thread was important. I watched Carson so much that he became sort of a friend...but I only saw his show in person once.

Robert Blake and Burt Reynolds were on that show. Blake was drunk, stoned, or something...and told Carson that he'd never been on the other side of the desk. At the break Fred DeCordova came up and talked to them, they switched places. Blake interviewed Carson, who did nothing but burp, then dropped his pants....

My date and I got home in time to see the show on TV. It's neat to laugh twice.

One time Carson told a joke which really bombed, someone in the audience did a whistle, like incoming artillery. Carson laughed and said "Give me a break!", somebody else yelled back "where?". Johnny's look was priceless, as was Ed's laugh at that point.

The next show was filled with jokes about how mean and nasty the other crowd was. Great comedy!!


143 posted on 01/23/2005 3:18:28 PM PST by gortklattu (As the preacher in Blazing Saddles said "You're on your own.")
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To: manic4organic

Speaking of Yassir Arafat, does anyone remember when Johnny played Ronald Reagan? Yes Sir, No sir, Yassir etc.


144 posted on 01/23/2005 3:20:29 PM PST by Go Gordon (If at first you don't succeed...skydiving is not for you.)
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To: Numbers Guy; NorCalRepub; An American In Dairyland; Petronski; IGOTMINE
Snopes says that the move the cat story is an urban legend. Same for Mrs Arnold Palmer and the putter.
145 posted on 01/23/2005 3:23:31 PM PST by Ready4Freddy (Veni Vidi Velcro)
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To: gortklattu

bump for later laughter


146 posted on 01/23/2005 3:30:50 PM PST by MissouriConservative ( Do your duty in all things. You cannot do more; you should never wish to do less. - Robert E. Lee)
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To: Cagey

Love it!


147 posted on 01/23/2005 3:31:20 PM PST by NotJustAnotherPrettyFace (Michael <a href ="http://www.michaelmoore.com/"title="Miserable Failure">"Miserable Failure"</a>)
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To: gortklattu

Those are great! This is exactly how I think Johnny Carson would have wanted to be remembered. I'm just sitting here, reading this thread and laughing out loud. What great memories!


148 posted on 01/23/2005 3:42:48 PM PST by Uncle Vlad
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To: international american
If you google "best of carson" you'll get a ton of hits where the video is available including Amazon. And, I'm sure the video will be all over eBay as is the norm when a celebrity dies.
149 posted on 01/23/2005 3:43:07 PM PST by Cagey
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To: Centurion2000
That's it! I knew I'd heard that somewhere before. Figures it would be Denis Leary, who'd like to have a tracheotomy so he can smoke more than one cigarette at a time. ;)
150 posted on 01/23/2005 3:44:45 PM PST by Uncle Vlad
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To: gortklattu

"I did not know that." :)

R.I.P. Mr. Carson


151 posted on 01/23/2005 4:56:08 PM PST by anymouse
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To: Kaslin
He didn't just die because he was a smoker. He died of Emphysima because he was a heavy smoker

He's been so old and sickly for so long, if you had said he'd been gone for awhile I wouldn't have been surprised. Whatever he was doing, I think it extended his life.

Yeah, if he never smoked, he never would have died. He'd still be living in the year 3,000. Derr. I can't stand those reporters! He was a life long water drinker too.

He died peacefully. But ole Fox New had to put in that he was "a life long smoker."

Just saw it at the myyahoo page:
E! Online: News
Late-Night Legend Johnny Carson Dies - 50 minutes ago
 
Sotzing did not disclose any further details, including time of death, where
Carson died or the exact cause of death.

The late-night fixture had been beset by health problems since his
retirement more than a decade ago. Carson underwent a quadruple-heart bypass
in March 1999. Some reports said the comic had suffered a heart attack,
necessitating the emergency surgery.

In September 2002, he confirmed he was battling emphysema.

Carson was born John William Carson on October 23, 1925, in Corning, Iowa.

(Nope is... no mention of smoking, drinking, or anything like that.)

Especially if smoking had nothing to do with his death. If it did and they can honestly say it caused it, that would be the FIRST ever death certificate that the Antis could show off in public.

152 posted on 01/23/2005 5:35:23 PM PST by SheLion (God bless our military members and keep them safe.)
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To: Smartaleck
Why wouldn't they report the cause of death

When Fox News reported that he had died, they did not GIVE emphysema as a cause of death. All they said was "he was a long time smoker." He was also a life long drinker but did they report that? No!

153 posted on 01/23/2005 5:38:52 PM PST by SheLion (God bless our military members and keep them safe.)
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To: SheLion

He was not a life-long drinker. He stopped drinking many, many years ago.


154 posted on 01/23/2005 5:39:52 PM PST by Hildy ( To work is to dance, to live is to worship, to breathe is to love.)
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To: SheLion
I just did a search. Here are the facts:

He stopped drinking in 1978 and spend much of his last years helping alcoholics and related charities.

He quit smoking in 1992 after a tumor was removed from his lung.

155 posted on 01/23/2005 5:42:43 PM PST by Hildy ( To work is to dance, to live is to worship, to breathe is to love.)
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To: gortklattu
"I think the Red Skelton has made me laugh the hardest..."

I'm not a real big admirer of many, but when Red showed up where my mom worked she couldn't help gush to him about how much I enjoyed him. The gracious man that he was, asked my name and autographed his dining place mat for me.

It's one of my most prized possessions.
156 posted on 01/23/2005 5:45:18 PM PST by Smartaleck
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To: SheLion
Especially if smoking had nothing to do with his death. If it did and they can honestly say it caused it, that would be the FIRST ever death certificate that the Antis could show off in public.

http://emphysemafoundation.org/ Emphysema is the fourth largest cause of mortality in the U.S., yet it is not a highly publicized disease, consequently, little is known about it by the average citizen. Almost 16-30 million U.S. citizens are afflicted with emphysema... and every year approximately 100,000 sufferers die of the disease. Smoking is the major cause, but with ever increasing air pollution and other environmental factors that negatively affect pulmonary patients, those numbers are on the rise.

157 posted on 01/23/2005 5:49:44 PM PST by Keith in Iowa (Common Sense is an Oxymoron)
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marking for later read


158 posted on 01/23/2005 5:50:22 PM PST by ChefKeith (Apply here to be added to the NASCAR Ping List, Daytona is comming soon...)
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To: SheLion

"When Fox News reported that he had died, they did not GIVE emphysema as a cause of death."

Ok so they only implied that it was a smoker related death.

BTW I smoke.


159 posted on 01/23/2005 5:51:44 PM PST by Smartaleck
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To: Cagey

Thanks, Cagey.


160 posted on 01/23/2005 5:55:47 PM PST by international american (Tagline not convinced.............................)
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