Posted on 02/06/2005 4:18:14 PM PST by SmithL
"Wack em, hit em, beat em"; isn't being condoned here. Proper discipline, in the form of spanking/paddling, is. Spanking isn't the only form of correction, but it can be quite effective when used in a conscientious manner.
I see WAY too many kids/young adults who are WAY out of control - and the most obvious reason is a lack of proper correction. Kids who were NEVER paddled/spanked have a tendency to not follow or accept any sort of boundaries. Does spanking guarantee a well-disciplined child? Of course not, I also know of some kids who have been abused - and they tend to be even more rebellious and trouble than those who are not corrected at all.
The key to correction, much like most anything in this life, is proper balance. Spanking should only be used when other means are not effective. But the child should always know that it is an option - that will be exercised if needed.
Are we not all children in the eyes of God?
I prefer an awareness that the hand can administer a hug or a smack, and the child's behaviour will determine which is dispensed. A "rod" is over the top in my book.
It isn't a one size fits all for every child. For some spanking is ineffective and for others it is overkill, but it is certainly a scripturally sound method of discipline. It should, however, never be administered in anger, and the motivation should always be love.
Thank you for asking.
At 2 or so, naturally, there was plenty of no as they learned to define themselves as separate people. Depending on circumstances:
1. going out in the cold without a jacket "OK, I'll just keep it handy, tell me when you are cold and want it."
2. trying to let go of my hand when crossing a street..... Picked them up, carried them across, set them down and explained.
older than 2...discuss, explain, enforce but it was vanishingly rare.
pre-teen and older...just never happened. they trusted me. They would ask why and challenge, but never said no. I believe the challenging is an excellent sign that they are thinking for themselves and if I don't have adequate reasons, then I need to re-think.
Of course, I overlooked where this story comes from - SanFagcisco. Those freaks out there only support paddling when it's in conjunction with chains, leather, and same-sex "partners".
Not physically.
You don't do the same things to kids that you do to adults.
I agree with that as well.
"You want something that will sting, but not bruise or injure."
The plastic paint paddles with the holes in them that Sears used to have were excellent. My second choice was a good switch.
My grown daughter now tells me that the time she had to wait in her room for me to cool off beforehand was worse than the actual spanking.
Well, the purpose of spanking is to make a stinging sensation that creates a connection between inappropriate behavior and negative consequences. If I were to use the palm of my hand, I would not be able to deliver that stinging sensation unless I hit the child really hard. A sting can be applied without hitting very hard at all. Just a flick of the wrist.
You sound like a wonderful parent, but I had great parents too.
When applied properly, spanking can be an effective method of correction for some young children.
I was spanked, but only rarely and as a young child. I think the threat of a spanking was more effective than the actual act. My mom says that the number of times I was spanked could be counted on one hand. I believe the last time I was spanked was when I was 5 or 6. And it was harder on my parents than it was on me!
Spanking was not effective for my brother - redirection when young and timeouts when older were best. He was more of a discipline challenge than I was, being a boy...but eventually mom and dad found methods that worked. He's quite a disciplined and responsible adult (active duty military), so I'd say they did a good job without spanking in his case.
I don't have a problem with parents who choose to spank, but when I have children I doubt I'll do it unless absolutely necessary. There are other discipline techniques that don't involve hitting. As it is I have a bit of a hot temper when I'm upset, and I don't know if I could trust myself to spank judiciously.
A distant relative continued to spank his children well into their teens. There was something very disturbing about seeing him take his 15 year old daughter, pull her pants down (!), and swat her bare rear for what I'd consider a very minor offense.
I know what you're talking about. My grandfather was an alcoholic and was an absolute terror to his family when he was in that state. My mother has hated even the smell of liquor ever since, and never wanted to repeat those mistakes on us. It made her all the more discriminating in her choice of a husband, for which we kids are thankful.
I'm sure they were. Even when I disagree with a parenting technique, I can appreciate good results.
If you were happy then and are a happy adult now, you had good parents.
After they were grown I asked my kids about some things I felt I had not done as well I had wished. They agreed and said it didn't matter because they knew I had good intentions.
Me too. I was a pretty good kid but, I got my share of spankings too. I was sometimes a bit too inquisitive for my own good and when words failed.....out came the old "razor strop".
I Never got one I didn't deserve.
(Truth be known, I "got away" with some stuff I should've been spanked for doing.)
In my day.....ya got caught doing something wrong....Ya owned up to it and "took your medicine".
It's a lesson for later on in life. You do something wrong and you have to face the consequences.
Spanking a child is not the same thing as beating a child.
Are you really so supercilious as to believe your personal squeamishness is morally superior to the Bible, and traditional practice?
There are too many people who feel intimidated about saying that.
Besides on tv, radio, women's magazines and the child rearing section of the bookstore?
But the hittrs provide their own evidence just by denying any possiblity that there might be a better way. They _want_ to hit their kids. Otherwise there would be at least some sincere questions as to how non-spankers succeed...a real search for alternatives.
Circular reasoning anyone?
I'm always impressed by the open mindedness of some people... until one actually concludes something contrary to what the "open miinded" want.
Could not your own flapdoodle be shot down by the very same reasoning? Namely, you are more concerned with stroking your own sense of moral superiority in that you won't consider the necessity of corporal punishment in some cases, and your pride in that refusal?
You are obviously completely ignorant of one of the most salient features of corporal punishment. That is, it ends debate. You are an obvious product of that great segment of our society raised to believe they can get their way on anything, so long as they talk enough. And that talk doesn't even have to have any bearing on reality, cf. your nonsense about people who feel intimidated. (You might as well boast about your bravery at bad-mouthing George Bush before a gathering of the National Press Club.)
Has it never occured to you why all our children have become little "outhouse attorneys" looking for ways to informally litigate their way out of responsibility for their actions, and expressing fear of neither G-d nor man (whom they believe to be bound by rules) when they think they've succeeded.
Corporal punishment is the example of judgment and punishment that brooks no argument. Chiefly because we as adults are assumed to have the experience and discretion to render such judgment, while they as children will argue endlessly the propriety of the judgment, given the chance.
Unfortunately, when these little cretans reach adulthood, the habit of naked denial and brainless argument doesn't leave them. For them, right and wrong are a sliding scale dependent on personal preference. They are the people that are thoroughly convinced they are "right by definition," and if you don't agree with them, it is because of some failure or perversity on your part.
You're equating the use of corporal punishment with low crime rates? You've got to be kidding. There are whole sectors of the public living in urban and rural ghettos that make liberal use of corporal punishment to no effect then.
The use of a special "tool" for punishment,as pictured in the initial post to this thread, is particularly revolting.
The special punishment "tool" is a bit too Taliban for me as well.
Oh, I agree that that is revolting. Why a parent would EVER send away for a plastic rod is beyond me.
From what I have read of the Ghettos, it isn't spanking, it's child abuse.
Show me one line in the Bible that says it is all right for a father to hit his daughter.
While you're at it, can you show me one line that permits mothers to hit children of either sex.
Finally, show me one line that demonstrates the fine results of Solomon's techniques in rearing his son.
I'm still mulling the implications of your use of the word "squeamishness" ithe context of hitting children.
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