Posted on 02/15/2006 5:51:53 PM PST by qam1
By the time Donna Peterson's three children are grown, her estate will be worth $5 million.
The kids -- now 5, 8 and 16 -- can cash in on the family assets when they turn 30. But there is a catch -- each must sign a prenuptial agreement before saying "I do."
No prenup means no money until their 55th birthdays, says the Chelmsford resident.
"I'm not saying they're going to make a bad choice, but it happens," explains the 45-year-old, who has been happily married for 17 years without a prenup. "At 21, with puppy love, who knows how you're going to feel about the person 10 years down the road? We have to protect what we've earned."
Demands like Peterson's are climbing in the Massachusetts Probate and Family Court, where Middlesex County Register John Buonomo estimates 5 percent of all newlyweds in the Bay State are signing prenups before exchanging vows.
Figures from the register's office show the number of divorces declining by more than 2,600 since 2001, and prenuptial agreements steadily increasing by nearly 13 percent.
Reasons for prenups vary, but Buonomo believes two trends are driving the demand: age and women's professions.
"In the five years I've been register, I've noticed a considerable increase in prenuptial agreements," Buonomo says. "People are living longer, and they want to protect their assets. And more women are bringing up the discussion.
"Women have moved up the socio-economic ladder. They're partners in law firms, doctors and professors, and they want to secure their investments."
Boston lawyer Marty Kane, who represents residents in Greater Lowell, says 25 percent of all his clients' prenups stem from Generation X -- those ages 30 to 40 -- compared to less than 5 percent for older generations.
Generation X, adds Kane, is a guiding force in the rising tide of financial pacts.
"There are a lot of people in this age group that made a ton of money during the peak of the dot-com era," Kane says. "It's this generation that's putting prenups together."
Another push is coming from Generation Xers' baby-boomer parents.
"There's more acceptance of prenups today in general," Kane says. "Parents work very hard to leave a cushion for kids to fall back on. Sometimes you find the push for the prenup isn't necessarily the party getting married, but from the parents who forked over the dough."
That's where the Donna Peterson comes in.
Her oldest son, who is 16, is destined to become the first beneficiary of the family fortune.
There is a Catch-22. Peterson's son has no idea that a prenuptial agreement is in his future if he wants to collect his inheritance.
"He can use his parents as a scapegoat if he has to," says Peterson. "If he's really in love, it shouldn't matter. If it sours the relationship, he can move onward and upward."
Kane says mentioning the word prenup can lead to "one of the most difficult conversations two people can have."
He recalled a personal friend who waited to "drop the bomb" the day before his wedding.
"He was nervous, thinking his bride-to-be might call the wedding off," Kane says. "I wouldn't recommend leaving the discussion for the last minute like he did. But she still agreed to marry him."
Buonomo suspects prenups are increasing because younger people marrying are staying together for shorter periods of time. If a person has valuable assets going into a marriage -- a house, a car, jewelry or cash savings -- he wants to be sure to keep them in case married life is no longer blissful.
"Last week, I saw a woman in her late 30s who was going through her third divorce," says Buonomo. "People fall in love, love is bliss, then all of a sudden, it's not working out, and it's let's get out fast."
His theory?
"Short engagements lead to short marriages," Buonomo says. "There is an important part of marriage and it's called engagement. If people put more time into that, we'd see less divorces, and maybe less prenups."
She's poisoning her children's future marriages.
They don't belong to the children. They belong to the parent.
If I win the $ 350 million powerball lotto tonight I'm expecting to become very popular. LOL! Of course, I will insist on a prenup when, and if, the woman in question ropes me into marriage.
I am in total agreement. I don't care if it's family money or money made in one's own lifetime ...
Marriage ceremony: an incredible metaphysical sham of watching God and the law being dragged into the affairs of your family. ~O.C. Ogilvie
Several years ago, I was driving cross country and heard an interview with the now late Marvin Mitchelson, famed palimony attorney. They were discussing pre nups. Mitchelson said they were the way to go. The interviewer then brought up that Mitchelson got married a few months before and asked if he had a pre nup. Mitchelson said he didn't. He said it all goes to trust. Just amazed me that am an who made millions off of pre nups and just highly recommended them didn't have one himself.
While one is alive, the assets are yours. If it is your intention to leave it to the kids, not only do you need an ironclad will, it should be reviewed periodically. A prenup sometimes is a prudent move. There are such things as goldiggers and gigolos.
Congratulations........the short engagement and the length of your marriage are quite rare!!!! GOOD FOR YOU!!
tereeeza heinz.....
Of course, a prenup is the clearest way of saying "We don't believe in lifelong marriage".
The only type of prenup I'd think about condoning is one where the spouse filing for divorce forfeits rights to all significant possessions.
There are also such things as children who feel they are entitled.
Hmmmm,
A very detailed will.
Giving away stuff that you want specific people to have before you die.
then, to make matters worse, you've got greedy lawyers and a court system that favors the women in a marriage and squeezes the men for every penny they've got. adding insult to injury, they take the kids away from their father, to boot.
hell, if it were me, i'd bring up a prenup before tying the knot...not only that, but it gets the ex out of your hair after the marriage, except if there's kids involved. but then, you're not being taken to the cleaners over the marriage either.
George: Do you see what this is turning in to? Do I need this. I have to get out of this thing. Elaine: Did you try the cigarettes? George: Yeah.. They made me sick. Kramer: All right, All right. Lets get down here. You really want to get out of this thing ? George: Yeah... Kramer: All right. I got two words for you; Pre-Nup. George: What does that mean? Kramer: Ask her to sign a pre-nup. George: What does that do? Kramer: Because most women when they're asked to sign a pre-nup are so offended they back out of the marriage. George: They are?... Elaine? Elaine: I wouldn't sign one. George: Pre-nup of course ..Kramer.... Kramer: Get out of here. (George and Susan at their apt. George: Hi. Susan: Hi. Hey I've been going over the list .What about The Drake? Wanna invite him? George: Yeah. Got to invite The Drake. Listen hem... there's something that's been on my mind and we haven't really talked about it..I t's kind of important to me. Susan: What is it? George: Well I I ..put a lot of thought into this and I think I would like you to sign a prenuptual agreement. Susan: A pre-nup? George: Yeah. Susan: (burst out laughing) George: What's so funny? Susan: Ha.Ha.Ha. ha...You don't have any money. I make more money than you do. ha. ha. ha. Yeah.. give me the papers I'll sign 'em.( she leaves) a pre-nup...
Just in case you do win the powerball tonight, let me be the first to say that I love you with the fire of a thousand suns and want to spend the rest of my life making you deliriously happy.*
*If you don't win the powerball tonight, please disregard this message :)
Nooooo.....my husband had an EX-spouse...i.e. woman he didn't trust....so I gladly signed a pre-nup....that was 21 plus years ago.....If people REALLY are in it with committment....I don't see what the problem is.
If that "ex-spouse" is the mother/father of your grandchildren, you might want to reconsider that comment.
His "trust" was another form of a "pre-nup" believe me.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.