[VANITY] The Thread Of Hijacked Threads

N/A | 10 May 2006 | kevkrom

[kevkrom]

Single-issue people.

They're out there... on every thread. No matter what the topic, they try to link it to their pet issue in some way, shape, or form.

They are... The Thread Hijackers™.

While little can be done to stop them, and it is probably best to ignore them, I find it much, much more fun to mock them. Sure, being passionate about an issue you care about is a good thing, but thread hijacking is annoying and, to be honest, turns off people who might otherwise agree with you.

So, on to the mocking.

I'd like to coin the term "H-score" to indicate the number of posts on a thread before someone tries to hijack it with the issue du jour. For example, if the attempt occurs on response #5, the thread has an "H-score" of 5.

What I propose is that when hijacking offenses occur, that they be documented here in the following form:

Thread: Thread title and link
H-Score: Post # on thread containing the offense (first per thread only)
Offender: Screen name of offending poster
Severity: Scale of 1 (low) to 5 (high) on how off-topic the comment is
My Comments: Optional, use to justify severity or just general mockery of offender

Perioidcally, I will go through the nominees and post finalists (for subjective awards) and winners (for non-subjective awards) in the following categories (subject to change at any time):

• Fastest hijack, time (non-subjective)
• Fastest hijack, number of posts (non-subjective)
• "Spammer" award for most hijacks (non-subjective)
• Most egregious hijack (subjective)
• Worst offender (subjective)

The issue du jour changes over time. At one time, it was Terri Schiavo. As of the time of this posting, it is illegal immigration. Note that ridicule on this thread is not to be taken as argument over any poster's position, but rather their methods and bloody single-mindedness.

So, for now, nominations will be taken for threads hijacked by "illegal immigration/border control" single-issue folks. Watch this space for any changes.

[Tweak]

Geez, what's with you single-issue "thread hijack" guys? Does every thread have to become a thread about every thread being hijacked by a single issue zealot posting in that thread? ;-)

[Chena]

Can you define what Tread Hijacking IS?,/i>

I think that's when someone hijacks your tires? ;)

[Junior]

I can't believe you're posting about hijacked threads when there are illegal foreign invaders from Mexico hijacking America.

And 30 million babies have been slaughtered in the past 33 years!

[HighWheeler]

Here's my fourth grade teacher.

-- -- --

Ha, Ha, very funny. She used to be my wife.

[sportutegrl]

What was the topic again?

The latest Kennedy drunk driving episode.

[Texas2step]

One of the very best, most hilarious, threadjackings ever

OMG, that is the funniest threads I've seen in quite some time. How did I miss it the first time?

[Husker8877]

G*dd*m Bill and Hillary Clinton to h*ll.

[finallyatexan]

I think you have the wrong person - I did not start this thread - never have started a thread - probably never will start a thread. However, I do believe the original poster would probably tell you that a thread hijacker is someone who posts something like what you posted to me on a thread that was about toasting wienies. I could be wrong, you would have to ask the person that started this thread.

[Arrowhead1952]

There sure were quite a few Comment # --- Removed by Moderator on that thread.

[N3WBI3]

Well we can go through some fo the tech threads I am sure we can at least get our guy honerable mention..

[Chena]

Now, for a serious answer...which I hate to have to do so early in the morning. LOL ;)

Threads are made up of individual topics. Hijacking a thread is when, for example, a thread is about the price of eggs in Japan and someone posts comments about illegal immigration (for some reason, illegal immigration just popped into my head...har har).

[Texas2step]

Hopefully, everyone will get it out of their collective system before long and start the targetted mocking I was calling for.

Don't hold your breath. :-) I highly doubt this thread will ever be used as you intended, but it was a nice thought.

At least we haven't seen any sister biting moose cheese eating posts.

[hispanarepublicana]

Y'all think we punsters are eligible for hijack credits?

[CharlesWayneCT]

The topic was going off-topic.

Is it just me, or did gas prices drop a few cents in the last week?

[manwiththehands]

"OH THERE YOU GO AGAIN THE WHINE ALL THE TIME CHOIR!!!"

"We need more moderates to win elections. Karl Rove said he would never give an ear to "conservatives" because you need moderates to win elections. You need moderates to win elections. Did I tell you that you need moderates to win elections? Yep. Moderates. They win elections."

[Chena]

Y'all think we punsters are eligible for hijack credits?

I'd consider it an insult if we weren't. ;)

[CharlesWayneCT]

IN his re-election, will Pat be able to deflect criticism of his voting record by noting that he was on drugs and booze at the time, and doesn't remember CASTING those votes?

[hispanarepublicana]

Does pinging Jack to say, "Hi, Jack!" count?

[kevkrom]

Y'all think we punsters are eligible for hijack credits?

Tough call. I'd say yes, but with low severity scores. :)

[tumblindice]

`they'll never get my guns! Viva Sam Colt'

Or my ding dang diddly Rolos. Only when they pry them from my cold, ding deadaly fingers.
Why I oughta . . . .