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High school's dances grind to a halt
Concord Monitor ^ | September 21. 2006 | MELANIE ASMAR

Posted on 09/21/2006 3:09:52 PM PDT by NCjim

A furor over what Concord High School administrators call an "overtly sexual" style of dancing at school dances has split the school community: There are those who defend the students'right to dance however they want and those who believe the moves are just plain inappropriate.

Principal Gene Connolly is with the latter group. He said the school will cancel all remaining dances, including the upcoming homecoming dance, unless students step forward to help halt the "grinding."

"This style of dancing is wrong," Connolly told parents at a Parent-Teacher-Student Organization meeting Tuesday night. "If you were to see it, you would be equally offended."

Asked by parents to describe the dance, Connolly offered this: The girl leans forward and the boy puts his pelvis against her backside. Then, he thrusts.

"It's feigning a sex act," Connolly said.

But some students and parents don't see it that way. They say that like the jitterbug and disco before it, grinding is just a sign of the times.

"We were raised to dance like that," senior Kayla Bisson said.

According to Connolly, students began grinding at Concord High dances about three years ago. Administrators tried to intervene, pointing out that the school handbook says all dance styles "must comply with standards of modesty and safety" and mandates that dance partners face each other.

When that didn't work, administrators met with the student senate last year and drafted a "dance memo of understanding."In the memo, the students acknowledged that current dance trends "can appear sexual." They also said the administration "has made it clear that they do not want to police our dancing styles."

The sides agreed students should use their best judgment, but administrators should have the final say.

"We all know where the line is and when we are crossing it," the memo says. "There will be no specific 'rules' to follow regarding how we dance. However, should someone's dancing make others feel uncomfortable, they will be kindly asked to stop. . . . Should they refuse to do so, they will be asked to leave."

But the grinding continued.

The situation came to a head Saturday at the first dance of the year, which was attended by 350 students. By the time the first slow song was played, a half-dozen boys had been warned repeatedly to quit grinding, staff and students said. When they persisted, the boys were asked to leave. About 150 students followed.

"It was eerie," said Ben Nicholson, the senior class president. "There was a controlled calm to it all."

The students headed to the parking lot, Nicholson said, but changed their minds after being told they couldn't congregate on school grounds. Someone suggested they go to White Park instead, but the police were already there. So the students proceeded to Rollins Park, where Nicholson said they played music and danced.

At Rollins Park, Nicholson persuaded the students to turn down the music because of the city's nighttime noise ordinance. Then, he gave an impromptu speech from atop a truck bed, telling his peers it was understandable that they were upset.

Senior Caitlind Cooper was one of the students who gathered at the park. Addressing the PTSO and Connolly on Tuesday night, she objected to the way the situation was handled.

"We go to a dance to have fun, and you telling us how to dance is not fun," Cooper said.

Nicholson, however, said yesterday that he sees the situation from both sides. He understands the administration is trying to enforce the rules, but he said the students feel oppressed.

"Students are losing respect for the system that's supposed to protect them," Nicholson said. "They feel that what's been done has been done out of spite."

He chalked the root of the problem up to a generational misunderstanding.

"It's not so much about dancing as it is about a culture clash,"Nicholson said.

Some parents agreed. Tom and Cathy Cooper said they feel teenagers today are acting no different than they themselves did decades ago. Tom Cooper said he feels an obligation to remember what his parents said about the way he danced in high school.

"If you remember Elvis Presley - there's a grinder," Cooper said.

Other parents, including Pete Duval, said they don't object to the dance style, because it doesn't lead to further touching. Once the music stops, they said, so does the grinding.

"The look is extremely sexual, but the intent is not," Duval said.

Connolly, who joked with parents that he felt like the anti-dancing preacher from the movie Footloose, said he didn't think so, especially when senior boys dance with freshman girls. Both parents and Concord Superintendent Chris Rath said they support his position.

"Eventually, things may change and this may be considered mild," said parent Cheryl Hunter. "But right now, it's inappropriate."

No one seems to know what's next. The homecoming dance, which raises money for the senior prom, is scheduled for Oct. 7, and upperclassmen are upset that it may not happen. So far, no group of students has stepped forward to present a solution to the administrators, who have given them until tomorrow.

And Nicholson, who said he never dreamed he'd have to act as a mediator when he was elected senior class president, said he's doing the best he can.

"I'm not sure of the solution,"Nicholson said. "It involves mutual understanding, and understanding doesn't happen in one meeting."


TOPICS: News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: backthatthangup; backthatthingup; bet; booty; bootycall; dirtydancing; diversity; diversityisstrength; gangsta; grind; hiphop; homeschool; mtv; vh1
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To: wagglebee
By their mothers who grew up in the 80's emulating Madonna's sluttiness.

And their grandfathers who emulated thet EVIL Elvis and his gyrating hips! That elvis is going to be the death of us all!!

61 posted on 09/21/2006 3:55:39 PM PDT by Toby06 (Hydrogen is not a fuel source. Hydrogen is an energy storage method, like a battery.)
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To: NCjim

Didn't this used to be called "the bump and grind" and was a mainstay of stripper's acts?


62 posted on 09/21/2006 3:58:46 PM PDT by FreedomCalls (It's the "Statue of Liberty," not the "Statue of Security.")
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To: NCjim

How this makes me sigh... We went through the same crap in my middle/high school days (which weren't long ago). We didn't respect the no-contact rules then, and I still don't get them today.

All paired dances are sexual to one degree or another, so the father in the article who says otherwise is a class A moron. But if you have a dance where nobody's waist can touch, you'll have a dance no kid wants to go to. There has to be a line somewhere though. I think the simulated doggystyle (with the girl bent over and all that) crosses the line; that doesn't seem like it would even require dexterity for the guy :P.


63 posted on 09/21/2006 4:05:14 PM PDT by ivyleaguebrat
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To: NCjim

I've seen it. It is vertical lap dancing. It may be 'simulated' for the girl, but not for the guy. Some of them get pretty 'satisfied'.


64 posted on 09/21/2006 4:12:07 PM PDT by Right Wing Assault ("..this administration is planning a 'Right Wing Assault' on values and ideals.." - John Kerry)
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To: Ainast

Isn't it called Pants Off Dance Off?


65 posted on 09/21/2006 4:13:07 PM PDT by SALChamps03
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To: NCjim
Footloose Flashback. Maybe the kids should just go back to "dirty dancing"!
66 posted on 09/21/2006 4:16:59 PM PDT by blu (People, for God's sake, think for yourselves)
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To: cdga5for4

Kinda hard to dance "right" with street rap blasting all night.

My oldest are in public high school and 60% of the school population that goes to the school dances hit the doors early. About an hour of straight street rap and butt grinding is all they can take.


67 posted on 09/21/2006 4:17:54 PM PDT by PeteB570 (Guns, what real men want for Christmas)
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To: <1/1,000,000th%
"We were raised to dance like that," senior Kayla Bisson said.

By her Ho mama.
68 posted on 09/21/2006 4:19:20 PM PDT by Kozak (Anti Shahada: " There is no God named Allah, and Muhammed is his False Prophet")
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To: NCjim
"...the students feel oppressed."

Good grief. Imagine what they'd do it they were allowed to go full-monty.

Tell you one thing...there is no way in h#ll I'd knowingly let any of my 3 daughters bend over at the waste while some kid was grinding on her from the rear. Just because there is music playing doesn't make that "dancing".
69 posted on 09/21/2006 4:19:50 PM PDT by mad puppy ( The Southern border is THE issue)
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To: Political Junkie Too

"I'll bet they didn't dance like that in Grovers Corners, NH."

Is that the place that Adam Sandler is from in Mr. Deeds Goes to Town?


70 posted on 09/21/2006 4:21:15 PM PDT by Flash Bazbeaux
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To: SoftballMominVA
"...this was at a very tony private school where the tuition is on par with ivy league colleges."

Those are some of the worst offenders!! Let's put it this way: I taught for 8 years at an Ivy League university and it seemed like the most degenerate students came disproportionately from those "very tony private" schools.
71 posted on 09/21/2006 4:26:09 PM PDT by Enchante (There are 3 kinds of lies: Lies, Damned Lies, and the Drive-By Media)
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To: cdga5for4; Bones75

My SIL is a teacher at a high school and chaperones. they had to ban a number of students from this type dancing. The "craze" is for the girls to wear their thongs and pull the back of the dress up just enough for the 'dance'. This is not all fun and innocence, kids will be kids.


72 posted on 09/21/2006 4:36:44 PM PDT by EmilyGeiger
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To: NCjim

It was called dry humping. Probably still gets the same result.


73 posted on 09/21/2006 4:42:25 PM PDT by gathersnomoss
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To: Enchante

Well, I was shocked when she told me some of the things that came off as "senior pranks" ....one of which involved a prominantly place politician's daughter. She told me pretty much the same thing you did-that these private schools can get pretty raunchy and that the parents excuse this behavior.


74 posted on 09/21/2006 5:01:26 PM PDT by SoftballMominVA
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To: Dinsdale
Parents really need to start acting shocked when their kids do the same things they did.

My daughter taught me the dance, 'PONY' The Bachlor. She taught me. That's a very sensual dance.

75 posted on 09/21/2006 5:05:17 PM PDT by processing please hold (If you can't stand behind our military, stand in front of them.)
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To: NCjim

How sad that many of these kids effectively have no parental guidance whatsoever.


76 posted on 09/21/2006 5:17:53 PM PDT by Roberts
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To: NCjim

According to Mr. Duval, his daughter simulating oral sex while "dancing" would "look extremely sexual" without actually being so. Amazing.


77 posted on 09/21/2006 5:19:32 PM PDT by Roberts
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To: Roberts

This is what worries me the most.
Respect at school...respect at home.
Bottom line.


78 posted on 09/21/2006 5:21:43 PM PDT by Nothometoday
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To: NCjim
Image hosted by Photobucket.com so some young slut humping a guys leg on the gym floor passes for dancing nowdays... is that it???
79 posted on 09/21/2006 5:22:37 PM PDT by Chode (American Hedonist ©®)
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To: Xenalyte
Hi All-

My opinion is that there is major excitement occuring in their most-intimate-of-areas during this style of dancing. Even if one put a pillow between the dancing kids, they're still teenagers all cranked-up on hormones.

~ Blue Jays ~

80 posted on 09/21/2006 5:29:10 PM PDT by Blue Jays (Rock Hard, Ride Free)
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