A GI in Iraq Asks Senator Kerry for Advice...(YOU ARE A LOT SMARTER THAN WE)

Chronwatch ^ | Friday, December 08, 2006

[IrishMike]

SENATOR JOHN KERRY 304 RUSSELL SENATE OFFICE BUILDING WASHINGTON DC 20510

DEAR SENATOR KERRY:

WE ARE STILL LAUGHING OVER HERE IN IRAQ AT YOUR JOKE ABOUT THE TROOPS BEING DUMB. WE DO RECOGNIZE THAT YOU ARE A LOT SMARTER THAN WE ARE BECAUSE YOU WERE ABLE TO GET OUT OF COMBAT IN THREE MONTHS. THIS IS WHY WE ARE SEEKING YOUR ADVICE. PLEASE GIVE US GUIDANCE.

1.) WHERE IS THE LEAST PAINFUL AREA ON THE BODY TO INFLICT A WOUND?

2.) DOES IT HAVE TO BLEED OR WILL A SCRATCH DO?

3.) WHERE DO YOU GET THE FORMS TO FILL OUT RECOMMENDING YOURSELF FOR A PURPLE HEART?

4.) DO YOU NEED A WITNESS? IF SO, HOW MUCH DOES THAT COST?

5.) ARE THREE PURPLE HEARTS STILL GOOD FOR A TRIP HOME?

6.) WHAT IS A REALISTIC PERIOD OF TIME IN WHICH TO ACQUIRE THESE WOUNDS? LESS THAN THREE MONTHS SOUNDS A LITTLE SUSPICIOUS EVEN TO US.

THANKS FOR YOUR HELP AND KEEP THE JOKES COMING.

JUST A DUMB G.I.

P.S.--WHAT ADVICE CAN YOU GIVE ME ON HOW TO MEET REALLY RICH WOMEN?

[Malone LaVeigh]

WHERE IS THE LEAST PAINFUL AREA ON THE BODY TO INFLICT A WOUND?

In kerry's case, my guess would be in the void between the ears.

[DCPatriot]

LMAO!!

[layman]

6.) WHAT IS A REALISTIC PERIOD OF TIME IN WHICH TO ACQUIRE THESE WOUNDS? LESS THAN THREE MONTHS SOUNDS A LITTLE SUSPICIOUS EVEN TO US

That's why they called it 'Swift boat' duty?

[IrishMike]

That's why they called it 'Swift boat' duty?
.
.
.

A lot of guys are on their 3rd tour of duty in Iraq,
the Frenchman was out of Vietnam in 3 months.
If he left by boat or plane,
it was definately SWIFT !!!!!

[Condor51]

I just emailed this to a buddy who was in the Navy (USS Midway).

I don't send too much I find, this was a must :-)

[Don Corleone]

To paraphrase Clint,"You made my day"."

[Dustbunny]

LOL....... good one

[Shimmer128]

ping

[shekkian]

Awesome!!!

[Lonesome in Massachussets]

Kennedy's challenger this year received 30% of the vote.

I did not see one single add for Tom Chase on the tube. He ran an almost invisible campaign. I only learned his name from listening to Howie Carr. Kerry will probably get 55% of the vote the same way. Mitt could take him out.

[kitkat]

Too funny! Leave it to the troops to come up with the truth.

[stbdside]

Bravo Zulu!!!!

[Valin]

:-)

[Donald Rumsfeld Fan]

WE DO RECOGNIZE THAT YOU ARE A LOT SMARTER THAN WE ARE BECAUSE YOU WERE ABLE TO GET OUT OF COMBAT IN THREE MONTHS. THIS IS WHY WE ARE SEEKING YOUR ADVICE. PLEASE GIVE US GUIDANCE.

[Valin]

I support those who are not as smart as Jon Carry!!!


Not as smart as jon carry? That would be..flatworms, retarded sea urchins, Barbra Boxer. :-)

[Eagle of Liberty]

Kerry will probably get 55% of the vote the same way. Mitt could take him out.

Now THAT is a possibility. I don't see Mitt getting the GOP Presidential nomination, but taking out Kerry would be hugh and a good move for him.

[CPT Clay]

Classic

[Sender]

My Son's High School just sent Christmas care packages and cards to the troops in Iraq. His card showed a drawing of John Kerry tied to a Heinz ketchup bottle with the message "Don't worry, we have him tied up over here." LOL.

We sent:
Hair/body wash/deodorant soap
Tylenol
Razors
Snacks
SureFire batteries
Storm whistle
Silly string
Peace Through Superior Firepower patch, subdued
Sewing kit
Toys for Iraqi children

[AD from SpringBay]

Beautiful. How about:

PS - When are you going to sign those forms like you promised?

[OldCorps]

gotta love these guys!