Posted on 12/08/2006 6:06:13 AM PST by IrishMike
SENATOR JOHN KERRY 304 RUSSELL SENATE OFFICE BUILDING WASHINGTON DC 20510
DEAR SENATOR KERRY:
WE ARE STILL LAUGHING OVER HERE IN IRAQ AT YOUR JOKE ABOUT THE TROOPS BEING DUMB. WE DO RECOGNIZE THAT YOU ARE A LOT SMARTER THAN WE ARE BECAUSE YOU WERE ABLE TO GET OUT OF COMBAT IN THREE MONTHS. THIS IS WHY WE ARE SEEKING YOUR ADVICE. PLEASE GIVE US GUIDANCE.
1.) WHERE IS THE LEAST PAINFUL AREA ON THE BODY TO INFLICT A WOUND?
2.) DOES IT HAVE TO BLEED OR WILL A SCRATCH DO?
3.) WHERE DO YOU GET THE FORMS TO FILL OUT RECOMMENDING YOURSELF FOR A PURPLE HEART?
4.) DO YOU NEED A WITNESS? IF SO, HOW MUCH DOES THAT COST?
5.) ARE THREE PURPLE HEARTS STILL GOOD FOR A TRIP HOME?
6.) WHAT IS A REALISTIC PERIOD OF TIME IN WHICH TO ACQUIRE THESE WOUNDS? LESS THAN THREE MONTHS SOUNDS A LITTLE SUSPICIOUS EVEN TO US.
THANKS FOR YOUR HELP AND KEEP THE JOKES COMING.
JUST A DUMB G.I.
P.S.--WHAT ADVICE CAN YOU GIVE ME ON HOW TO MEET REALLY RICH WOMEN?
(Excerpt) Read more at chronwatch.com ...
Love it!ping : )
Thanks for the laugh. Have sent it to friends.
If we just let these guys cut loose, this "war" would be over in a month.
Instead, they have to abide to some ridiculous "guidlines" which do nothing other than to increase our death toll.
Shame on our politicians, and their politically correct cluster-fuck...our guys are getting killed because of you.
Thanks for the ping, Ma.
It's nice to end the evening with a big funny, instead of all the serious stuff. Great post, IrishMike.
God Bless our military and when is Kerry going to release his military record?
God Bless our military and when is Kerry going to release his military record?
7) HOW DOES ONE OBTAIN A DISHONORABLE DISCHARGE FROM THE MILITARY, AND MANAGE TO GET ALL RECORDS OF SAID DISCHARGE PURGED/SANITIZED?
This is fabulous! Thanks for posting.
6.) WHAT IS A REALISTIC PERIOD OF TIME IN WHICH TO ACQUIRE THESE WOUNDS? LESS THAN THREE MONTHS SOUNDS A LITTLE SUSPICIOUS EVEN TO US.
As part of a 'team' who did extensive research on Kerry, one thing I've always wondered about and have never found statistics on, is whether or not anyone else in any conflict has ever received 3 purple hearts in less than 3 months? Ever? Anyone know?
I wish I had Kerry's famous "bunny suit" pic. (Or even a picture of Bugs Bunny's craze-stricken face from the famous WB cartoon.) I'd give it this caption:
"I am John F'n' Kerry. Billionaire. I own a mansion and a yacht..."
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