Posted on 12/14/2006 9:32:26 AM PST by Ben Chad
I have a friend, a single mom, who has a 16-year-old son who has been seduced by a group of peers into smoking marijuana. They live in an upper-middle-class town in New Jersey, a suburb of Philadelphia. The kid says that 90% of his classmates smoke dope. The mom has grounded him, taken away his computer, will not allow him to get his driving permit, tried to reason with him about legal and health consequences, and things like that. But he seems impervious to reason and says he won't stop the behavior.
Pray, and tell her to pray. If she has raised her son with the knowledge of what is right and good, and he still chooses wrong, there is not much she can do. Like I did, this kid will have to learn through experience how not to do the idiotic crap. That's all we can do.
Oh oh..... the single mom bashers will be here shortly to give you tons of advice.
Overnight UNSUPERVISED stay in jail.
And a stay in the 'drunk tank' with the guys who are screaming out of their heads 'tripping daisies' stoned.
I'd start by giving the kid more credit than that. He's not a victim. He's an actor. He is doing what he wants to do. Don't pawn the responsibility off on others.
I personally don't think the scared straight stuff is gonna work. I think 16 is a little young to be smoking pot. I'd try to convince him to treat it the same way as alcohol, and basically I'd have the same attitude towards both with a 16 yr old. I'd tell him when he graduates high school and gets out on his own, he's free. But he's not old enough to drink, and he's not old enough to smoke pot, and then I'd take the same corrective action i would take if i caught him with a 5th of Jack Daniels.
My two cents. I'm not a parent, but I did smoke pot.
Wrong approach.. Tell the son it will make his coconuts shrink...
It sounds as if the kid has already tried it. Perhaps he hasn't experienced anything bad about it, and doesn't actually know anyone that has been harmed yet.
Where is the father?
Can he be brought into the debate?
Are there siblings?
Take a family vacation/trip to visit out of town grandparents, aunts, cousins?
Throw a cook-out for his friends and invite their parents?
He has obviously found a place where he "belongs" so it might be time to embrace and then exert some influence on the "peers".
Hey manipulation works!
If not, sick the police on him.
*snicker*
Sorry, I couldn't resist.
As a former pot smoker,I must be honest and just say that he will probably outgrow it with age but the hard ass techniques won't work.
Fact is,we"dopers"thought we were the coolest,hippest cats to walk the face of the Earth back in 1967-69.We really felt SO superior to all the jocks and boozers.Our egos were sky high and this was especiallly intoxicating because most of us potheads were the outcasts in high school.We used pot as in the Dylan song,"the losers now will be later to win"and now WE were in the vanguard.
Sooner or later,this kid will have to get a job and get bored with sitting around high on weed listening to the Grateful Dead or whoever is hot with the trippy set now.
I haven't touched the stuff in thirty years.Don't even drink anymore either.I simply discovered it was hindering my growth as a human being and therefore I just stopped.
End of story.
Looks like it's a little late for that.
It's up to the kid whether he is going to let this be just a fun little side-trip on his way to success, or it will be a spiral into a destructive lifestyle.
Most kids get through it just fine. But don't delude yourselves that there's anything you can tell him that will make a difference.
Also don't get panicky that any little dabbling in drugs is an instant failure-for-life. I knew lots of kids in high school that got stoned on lots of things. Today they're all doctors, lawyers, engineers... and doing just fine.
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