Posted on 10/02/2007 2:01:56 AM PDT by 2ndDivisionVet
DAVENPORT, IOWA- In spite of Hillary Clinton's growing air of inevitability going into the 2008 primary race, upstart challenger Barrack Obama continues to draw in truckloads of campaign contributions, apparently unaware that the race for the Democratic nomination is already over. According to the Obama campaign's third quarter financial report, the earnest Illinois Senator raised just shy of $20 million in the past three months, significantly more than Clinton insiders say they've gathered during the same period. If this disturbing trend continues, they warn, Obama might actually have a chance at sneaking off with Hillary's nomination.
At a loss to explain it in any other way, the former First Lady and polyamorous baseball fan told a crowd of supporters on Monday of her suspicions regarding Obama's fundraising success. "He must have stolen it," she said.
Clinton later clarified that she meant that Obama had been "stealing" donors from other candidates, but at the time it certainly sounded like something far more disturbing- especially when she mentioned that her TV had gone missing recently, an implied accusation that perhaps Obama had taken it and pawned it for campaign cash.
By way of proof, the Clinton campaign released a copy of a receipt from Red's Pawn & Loan in central Iowa that appears to link directly to a check matching in number and dollar amount to one received by the Obama campaign the very next day. To aid the story's credibility and newsworthiness, the accompanying press release assures reporters and news editors that the document is "not at all faked or Photoshopped, even though that would be really easy to do."
Moreover, several high-level staffers within the Clinton campaign have been working hard to connect Obama and his fundraising efforts to a series of armed robberies in early primary states like Iowa and New Hampshire. Over the past few hours, news organizations report fielding dozens of anonymous tips from concerned citizens, all calling from the same Washington, D.C. phone number. In their estimation, the official eyewitness description of the suspect as a "tall African American man" seems spot on- especially when one considers that the phrase "large protruding ears" would almost certainly have been added if the perpetrator (Obama allegedly) had not been wearing ski mask at the time.
The Obama report states proudly that the money came through small donations from more than 93,000 Americans. For Clinton, that figure is especially chilling since it implies that Obama's money-making operation is even larger than previously thought. On her newest video blog entry, Clinton encouraged every U.S. citizen to check their bank accounts and credit card receipts for suspicious charges and missing funds. If nearly 100,000 people are unwittingly supporting someone who isn't Hillary Clinton, she reasoned, something must not be right.
Obama could be involved in multi-level marketing or door-to-door cutlery sales, she suggested, or he could be posing as a Nigerian prince in order to bilk naive Americans of their cash. Whatever his scam is, Clinton vowed to get to the bottom of this as soon as possible. The certainty of her nomination, and democracy itself, may be at stake.
For his part, Obama has been too busy campaigning in key primary states and raising money to personally respond to the story or issue a blanket denial. His staff, however, did issue a scornful statement on the matter, chiding Clinton for her use of "hateful stereotypes" in explaining Obama's fundraising win.
"I don't really think you can honestly say she's racist," said Rev. Al Sharpton, Democratic activist and de-facto arbiter of this sort of thing. "I mean, she's married to a man commonly referred to as 'America's first black President' after all. In my book, she's earned a pass."
However, Clinton did not help matters at a recent debate in New Hampshire when she tackled Obama, beat him with her purse, and declared a citizen's arrest.
"Thief!" shouted Mrs. Clinton as Obama struggled to free himself from her grip. "He's trying to take my precious nomination! Security, taser this man!"
That's LOL funny!
I wish this were true, but it's still funny.
Well, the more money he raises now the more attractive he becomes as a running mate for Shrillery. Smart move on his part.
I really don’t know how likely it is that he is Hillary’s VP choice. It’s pretty rare for a candidate to choose one of the also-rans as a running mate, when you look at the history. In this case I think she may be afraid of him upstaging her, and that the non-die-hard dems will look at that pair and think “So who’s actually going to RUN things, ‘cuz neither of THESE TWO can!”
The part od the pawn shop receipt was perfectly believable. I could see Hillary digging that up despite her own massive crookedness.
The part about Sharpton was absolutely believable. I didn’t think twice.
The purse thing was the dead give away since lesbians do not carry purses.
Oh man! My first thought was that Hillary Clinton had just committed political suicide! LOL!
Kerry-Edwards is the most recent example. Reagan-Bush.
I agree though that the tougher race he gives Hillary to the nomination the less likely he will get tapped as the VP candidate. However, if he is sitting on $100 million in a war chest, he is going to look pretty attractive.
My guess is she will go with Richardson for the Hispanic and Western state votes.
It is not usual, but Kennedy/Johnson and Reagan/Bush come to mind.
Wouldn't have mattered if it had all been true, Hillary gets a pass on everything.
It wouldn't be the first time the polls were skewed.
Al Gore and John Kerry come to mind = losers!!!
In an attempt to make the robotic Hillary appear human, her handlers apparently encouraged this last week or the Hildabeast has finally cracked:
"Now Mrs. Clinton is erupting in a laugh with all the spontaneity of an alarm clock buzzer. Mocking this tic last week, "The Daily Show" imagined a robotic voice inside the candidate's head saying, "Humorous remark detected — prepare for laughter display."
However sincere, this humanizing touch seems as clumsily stage-managed as the Gores' dramatic convention kiss.
None of this would matter if the only issue were Mrs. Clinton's ability as a performer. Not every president can be Reagan or J.F.K. or, for that matter, Bill Clinton. But in her case, as in Mr. Gore's in 2000, the performance too often dovetails with the biggest question about her as a leader: Is she so eager to be all things to all people, so reluctant to offend anyone, that we never will learn what she really thinks or how she will really act as president?"
Excerpt - read the entire opinion piece by Frank Rich at the NY Times
When media, traditionally on the Democrats side, start picking on a Democrat, it's time to take notice.
There are lots of problems with the Hildabeast.
Are Barack's backers detecting another Howard Dean in Hillary?
“He must have stolen it,” she said.
It sounds racist to me.
“He must have stolen it,” she said.
The pot calling the kettle black.
One cannot even IMAGINE if even a planted hint of a story like this about a Republican candidate would occur at what outrage/protestation would be all over the MSM 24/7. Jesse Jackass and Al Sharpie would be marching in the streets, burning down Whitey's buildings, and generally ransacking the neighborhoods, as usual.
It would make the Jena 6 "outrage" over a non-issue into another Watergate!
This definately deserves to be in all media HEADLINE news for the next 2 weeks.
Yeah. Too bad it’s just sarcasm.
.-/—/./-.
Stole it?? Is that because he’s black?
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