Posted on 11/16/2007 7:07:41 PM PST by Eric Blair 2084
Pleading "Don't Sue the Hand That Feeds You," the Center for Consumer Freedom offers our 2007 Thanksgiving Guest Liability and Indemnification Form to keep your holiday cook in the clear. To prevent greedy trial lawyers from wrangling your guests into suing you for contributing to the so-called "obesity epidemic," we have prepared this essential liability waiver. Make sure all your Turkey Day guests sign it.
Our Thanksgiving Guest Liability and Indemnification Form comes in carbon-copy triplicate for proper record-keeping come court time. The Agreement prevents your guest from suing you by duly warning him or her that dangerous conditions, risks, and hazards may lurk in the turkey, stuffing, vegetables, cranberry sauce, fixings, drinks, desserts, appetizers, and any or all other comestibles that may be served.
Most importantly, by signing the Agreement your guest agrees "not to appear as a witness in support of John 'Sue The Bastards' Banzhaf, Esq., or any other persons with law degrees who cannot otherwise find meaningful employment, at any time in the future." Click here to download your own Agreement. You'll be thankful you did.
I can work on it.
No waiver for stepping out back after dinner and lighting up a favorite cigar?
I’m surprised this thread didn’t get more responses. Everyone celebrates Thanksgiving and everyone eats.
It’s a really funny waiver to print out.
We’ll have to BTTT next week to get people’s attention. That will do it.
Then if your in California post this sign.
You forgot to add a DISCLAIMER to this post. I’ll help...
DISCLAIMER:
This product is meant for educational purposes only. Discontinue use if irritation develops. Keep your hands back away from the cage. For external use only. Void where prohibited by law. Some assembly required. Contents under pressure. Do not use if seal is broken. Modified from its original version, formatted to fit your screen. All tour information subject to change until the day after the show. No shoes, no shirt, no service. Keep out of reach of children. Contents may settle during shipment. Use only as directed. You must be this tall - to ride. No other warranty expressed or implied. Do not operate a motor vehicle or heavy equipment after use. Please forward to new address. Batteries not included. Apply only to affected area. May be too intense for some viewers. For recreational use only. If condition persists, consult your physician. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. Floss daily. Objects in mirror may be larger than they appear-don’t get too excited. Some equipment shown is optional. The check is in the mail. May be harmful is swallowed. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. Lather, rinse, repeat. Results may vary. One size fits all. Subject to change without notice. Freshest if eaten before date on carton. No trespassing. Please remain seated until the ride has come to a complete stop. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. Do not remove tag under penalty of law. You have the right to remain silent. Postage will be paid by addressee. Drink responsibly. Contents of container may be extremely hot. Slippery when wet. For office use only. Edited for television. Post office will not deliver without postage. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform. At participating locations only. Test in inconspicuous area before using. Do not write below this line. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. Your canceled check is your receipt. Avoid contact with skin. Sanitized for your protection. Do not stand on top rung. Employees and their families are not eligible. Beware of dog. Refrigerate after opening. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. Limited time offer, call now to ensure prompt delivery. You must be present to win. No passes accepted for this engagement. No purchase necessary. Use only in a well ventilated area. Falling rock. Keep away from fire or flames. Wash exposed skin after use. Price does not include taxes. Reproduction strictly prohibited. Let stand 2-3 minutes before serving. No solicitors. Call toll free number before digging. Do not fold, spindle or mutilate. Driver does not carry cash. Package sold by weight, not volume. Your mileage may vary. This end up. Open other end. This page left intentionally blank. Management reserves the right to add to this list at anytime.
That about covers it.
Thanks for the ping!
got some cold duck on ice here for you....
How to get the duck into a bottle is beyond me...
[there sure are some weird turkey day traditions in some households...ducks in bottles? what would Daffy say to THAT business?]
Thanks for the laugh, mate!
America ought search hard for a leader politic whose relationship with the Almighty is so witnessed.
Don’t forget the carcinogens.....
http://www.acsh.org/publications/pubID.103/pub_detail.asp
"I consider it an indispensible duty to close this last solemn act of my official life by commending the interests of our dearest country to the protection of Almighty God and those who have the superintendence of them into His holy keeping." ~ George Washington
Fancy running into you here :)
I was just about to ping you. LOL
Foodiee Ping????????
**Freeper Kitchen Ping**
“Do not taunt happy fun ball”.
Greetings, fellow Hungarian Gypsy Freeper! :-)
Good day, Gabz. My Thanksgiving turkey is nanny-state-free this year. I drove 70 miles (out of nanny-state Ohio) to Erie, PA last week and played slots for a couple hours (gambling is against the State’s Constitution). I earned enough points/comps for a free turkey. I was even “allowed” to have in a smoke (after asking others around me if they did not mind) with my cup of tea (oh, the horror). I met a handful of very, very nice people, too. Imagine that! LOL. :-) Happy Thanksgiving, fellow Freepers. God bless us.
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