Chavez: "Laser sniper tried to kill me"

EFE through NoticieroDigital.com (translation) ^ | 11/27/2007

[cll]

Chavez reiterates that 'everything indicates they're trying to kill me'

The president of Venezuela, Hugo Chavez, reiterated today that, again, his most radical opponents have reactivated their assasination plans against him and 'everything indicates that they will be trying to kill me because of what will happen on Sunday'.

Next Sunday, Venezuelans will vote on a constitutional reform with which Chavez intends to install a 'socialism of the 21st century', which his opponents means the installation of a personal dictatorship.

~ snip ~

In the [campaign] event, he repeated that recently "a strange light traveled through my body, around here, where my heart is, and then around here", he said while pointing to his head.

"Most likely it was a sniper hiding 100 or 200 meters away in a Caracas building, who aimed a weapon equiped with telescopic sight guided by rays, of which he was alerted to by a TV viewer who immediately alerted the authorities".

His Cuban colleague, Fidel Castro, to whom he said he showed the video when he visited Havana, "told me it was a sniper who didn't fire because he could have gotten cold feet at the precise moment".

~ snip ~

Chavez concluded his story by singing a Mexican ranchera song, which chorus goes like this: "I fell from a cloud at 20 meters high, and that was my great adventure"

~ end (amateur) translation ~

More fun (in Spanish) at source.

[cll]

Hugo - The gift that keeps on taking.

Pray for the Venezuelan people so they wake up and shut up this dangerous clown on Sunday.

[ronnie raygun]

Chico! Remember, one speeding bullet can change the coarse of a mighty river. End it before he ends you!

[Beckwith]

You know it wasn’t an American sniper or he’d be dead.

[ButThreeLeftsDo]

Hugo is getting really nutty. Like Hitler, in the end.

Syphilis??

[Red Badger]

typical paranoid behavior of a tyrannical despot......

[xarmydog]

Bad shot.Lazer no less.

[#1CTYankee]

""a strange light traveled through my body, around here, where my heart is, and then around here", he said while pointing to his head."

Don't worry Hugo, that was just the Devils way of showing his approval.

He can't give out halo's.

[Harmless Teddy Bear]

"a strange light traveled through my body, around here, where my heart is, and then around here",

Sugar pie, if as light had traveled through your heart, you would be dead.

[cll]

Some comments on that board say that the sniper gave up because he couldn’t locate a heart or a brain.

[YellowRoseofTx]

Pray for the Venezuelan people so they wake up and shut up this dangerous clown on Sunday.

Wanna bet that he'll "win" no matter how the populate vote?

[tophat9000]

Don't lasze me bro!... Don't lasze me!.......Ouh!, OUH! OUH!....

[dadgum]

I think the verb “recorrió” is better translated as “crossed”. Not “went through”.

The laser crossed his body.

[cripplecreek]

[Ronin]

Another obvious sympathy ploy.

One of his supporters waved around a laser pointer while another taped it and he plays it off as an “attempted assassination.”

Real snipers don’t need those sort of gimmicks. One shot, one kill. Hugo would have been dead meat.

Not that there is anything wrong with that.

[tophat9000]

Ok... I’m calling first dibs on making "Hugo Chavez... Don't Lazse Me, Bro!” T-shirt’s

[humblegunner]

"Most likely it was a sniper hiding 100 or 200 meters away in a Caracas building, who aimed a weapon equiped with telescopic sight guided by rays

The flunky with the laser pointer is enjoying his new rancho.

You can fool some of the people some of the time, but even more when you keep them ignorant.

[Eddie01]

lol. good one.

[cripplecreek]

Hey! He hates these cans!

[aruanan]

His Cuban colleague, Fidel Castro, to whom he said he showed the video when he visited Havana, "told me it was a sniper who didn't fire because he could have gotten cold feet at the precise moment".

If it was a professional sniper, he wouldn't have gotten cold feet at the "precise moment." More likely it was a kid with a laser pointer.

[cripplecreek]

Hey! He hates these cans!

[ConservativeMan55]

bttt

[Joe 6-pack]

Don't laze me, Bro!!

[cll]

“The laser crossed his body.”

You are correct. I was translating on the fly and laughing at the same time, without much thought.

[Viking2002]

'Laser sniper tried to kill me'

He must've been a piss-poor shot. I think most of us here could put a cap in him blindfolded.

And would try.

[SGCOS]

How perfect is that?

deep belly laugh on that post.

[#1CTYankee]

"Some comments on that board say that the sniper gave up because he couldn’t locate a heart or a brain."

Good one, all they had to do was aim of the center of his buttocks.

This isn't rocket science.

[Cyclops08]

A laser sniper?!! Oh NO! Its PAT ROBERTSON!!!!

[JCEccles]

You know it wasn’t an American sniper or he’d be dead.

Katie Couric, interviewing a Marine sniper: "What do you feel when you shoot a terrorist?"

Marine sniper: "A slight recoil."

Chavez is paranoid. And likely for good reason.

[Brilliant]

Hey, Hugo... Maybe they have good reason to assassinate you.

[cll]

Good one!

[Bob]

If it was a professional sniper, he wouldn't have gotten cold feet at the "precise moment." More likely it was a kid with a laser pointer.

I find it even harder to imagine that a professional sniper would ever consider using a laser.

[Reeses]

typical paranoid behavior of a tyrannical despot......

Of course he has banned gun ownership except for the police, just like our Democrats are always trying to do. Narcissists are so in love with themselves their greatest fear is losing themselves. Guns in the hands of others scare them more than anything.

[null and void]

Fast forward to his next speech:

Imagine a cheering crowd with scores of people in it carrying laser pointers...

[Chode]

listen stooopid... if you saw a light it was NOT from a scope, cause if it was, you'd be just a bad memory.

[dadgum]

Yeah, that big block-of-a-head would be very hard to miss.

[aruanan]

I find it even harder to imagine that a professional sniper would ever consider using a laser.

Of course. Why tip off the pre-dead guy?

[R_Kangel]

Yeah right

This moron was probably hit with a 25 cent laser pointer. OOOOOOh! Very Scary!

.

[MadMax, the Grinning Reaper]

Re “Hugo is getting really nutty. Like Hitler, in the end.”

Gee I thought you were talking about Kucinich, Hillary, Howard Dean, Kennedy and/or Kerry.

“We will take it away from you.” - Hillary

Achtung mein uber fraulein”.

It’s getting so that you can’t tell our nuts from their nuts. The Left is like a jar of peanut butter - scrambled nuts in oil.

[steveo]

somebody set up the beeber.

[Ramius]

I find it even harder to imagine that a professional sniper would ever consider using a laser.

Quite. Lasers are good for quick acquisition in close quarters. Not useful at distant targets because bullets don't follow long straight lines. A sniper would use a regular optical scope. And they don't get cold feet. :-)

They show that laser dot in movies all the time though, 'cuz it shows up nice on screen and makes for better drama.

[chiefqc]

Some days nothng goes right. Damn.

[xarmydog]

I believe it is a crock.Any halfass sharpshooter could have pulled it off.Chavez is looking for sympathy.

[Redcloak]

Maybe Mahmoud Ahmanajihad was having an out-of-body experience and buzzed his pal Hugo.

[Duke Nukum]

DUmmie.

[LukeL]

200 meters? Give any hunter a good enough rifle with a scope and they will make that shot, no laser needed.

[ButThreeLeftsDo]

Huh?

[nw_arizona_granny]

Ping.

[dfwgator]

Dr. Evil: You know, I have one simple request. And that is to have sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads! Now evidently my cycloptic colleague informs me that that cannot be done. Ah, would you remind me what I pay you people for, honestly? Throw me a bone here! What do we have?
Number Two: Sea Bass.
Dr. Evil: [pause] Right.
Number Two: They're mutated sea bass.
Dr. Evil: Are they ill tempered?
Number Two: Absolutely.
Dr. Evil: Oh well, that's a start.

[chilepepper]

Chavez is too valuable as a counter example for anyone to think about shooting him...