I've been thinking about buying a really fast motorcycle but a little voice keeps telling me it would be a bad idea.
Going really fast pushes out all other thoughts and creates a euphoric feeling. It's not terribly safe though.
Posted on 07/22/2009 5:49:29 AM PDT by Kaslin
It’s getting old, isn’t it? Everyone these days is bipolar or has some other chic mental disorder that he feels excuses his self-centered conduct. Like the guy who once walked into my class twenty minutes late. I told him it was his last time to come in late. He said, “But you don’t understand, I’m bipolar.” And he said it in front of the whole class.
Having a mental disorder used to be a source of embarrassment. But, now, it’s often a request for special treatment, which, when granted, fuels self-centered conduct. That’s why a pastor friend of mine now hears the claim “But, I’m bipolar!” in approximately 80 percent of his marital counseling sessions. This means that approximately 40 percent of the people he counsels are claiming to be “bipolar.”
Is there something in the water that is causing a massive outbreak in manic-depression and other mental disorders? Or is it possible that we live culture of entitlement, which gives us strong incentives to claim some sort of disability rather than face the consequences of our freely chosen actions?
Just about everyone who really suffers from some form of depression (manic or otherwise) has something in common: He is engaged in self-centered conduct, which either a) actually caused the disorder (real or perceived), or b) greatly exacerbates the disorder (real or perceived).
People who suffer from, or claim to suffer from, some form of depression usually respond in one of two ways:
1) They seek psychological counseling, which focuses largely on “talk therapy.” During these talk therapy sessions the patient pays a doctor to listen to him talk at length about himself and his problems. Since this is just another exercise in self-absorption, it rarely works.
2) They seek psychiatric care, which usually results in a drug prescription. Paying someone to give you mood altering drugs, rather than addressing your behavior, involves a degree of self-absorption that simply cannot be ignored. But it usually is ignored. And that’s why the drugs usually don’t do the trick. In fact, they often lead people to suicide.
Behind the two generally misguided approaches to curing depression is the common fallacy that our emotions are usually the causes, not the effects, of our behavior. But, in reality, it is our behavior that usually shapes our attitudes and our emotions.
If you don’t believe what I’m saying I want you to try a little exercise the next time you wake up in a bad mood. All it involves is simply forcing yourself to smile and exchange simple pleasantries with every stranger you see during the morning hours. That simple act of saying something nice and seeing a return smile will kill any bad mood in less than half a day. It has a success rate of about 100 percent. And simple variants of the exercise work for more prolonged cases of the blues. Let me provide an example.
A few weeks ago, I had a strong compulsion to ask a neighbor to church. He was going through serious legal and financial struggles. I kept hearing that “you should” voice telling me to ask him to attend church with me. On July 4, the voice was really strong. But I ignored it and simply waved at my neighbor as I drove by his house.
On July 6, police cars surrounded his home. Just before noon they carried his lifeless body out on a stretcher. I was simply devastated by the thought of how things might have been different had I acted.
The next week was one of the saddest I’ve had in many, many months. And it was brought on by the same thing that always brings on sadness or depression. I had acted like a self-absorbed jerk. Rather than reach out to someone who was suffering I went on about my business. I was more worried that having a talk with him might be awkward or might cut into my time smoking cigars with my friends.
And this is where things begin to get dangerous. When we screw up - due to our own self-absorption – the chances are that we’ll screw up again by allowing the negative energy of one bad decision to fuel another similar bad decision. That’s often the way mild depression turns to serious depression. It is an unhealthy cycle that must be broken.
After a few days of kicking myself, I took out a sheet of paper. On it, I wrote the letter “A” and stared at it until I could think of someone who was hurting whose name began with the letter “A.” After a few minutes, I remembered a woman whose husband died of a heart attack last spring. I picked up the phone and called her and told her a funny story about her husband. I shared some things about him that brought back some memories and made her laugh out loud. Before I hung up I told her that many people loved her and were praying for her. The call made the day brighter for both of us.
And then I picked up my pen and wrote down the letter “B.” I don’t have to tell you that by the time I reached the letter “F” I was feeling like I was on top of the world.
The truth is that changing one’s behavior with an exercise in other-absorption, rather than self-absorption, will cure what most people label as depression. If that fails they should talk to a professional. If that also fails they should consider an experiment with prescribed medication.
But people who shout “I’m bipolar” usually don’t want to be helped. And if we feed their sense of entitlement we hurt them very badly.
You are not being condemned on this thread for your depression, as you have plainly stated that you DO NOT parade it in front of others, that is to your credit and to the many others who truly suffer from depression, as it is real.
We are talking about bipolar, which may or may not be a real condition. It is just being condemned here for being a convenient LABEL for bad behavior, or "we don't know what is wrong so name it this".
I know a woman who is this so called "bipolar", she is just a self absorbed little jerk. Old enough to know better, but it gets her a lot of mileage with sympathy and indulgence. I do not want to be around her anytime, as she is the most negative person I know. Eating out is a embarrassment as she ridiculous everything, even the waiters. She will up and leave the group for no reason, not tell anyone she is leaving, and we have to go hunt for her. RUDE is her name, is RUDE now a disease? I think she made it one. She is a brat, who has found a way to get what she wants. Manipulation tactic, aka RUDE.
The problem with these types of people is that they have played this game all their lives, their parents did nothing to discipline them on the bad behavior, and they grew up relieing on their tactics to get what they wanted. The problem came when they discovered other people would not play their game, then they went further into their problem, played it so long they don't know how to get out of it without embarrassing themselves so they seek a Dr. to tell them they have bipolar, problem solved. See, I have a condition.
Again, no one will ever critizise you or anyone else for a condition that is real, I have had bouts of depression which really was nothing more than a pity party for myself, didn't take me long to get out of that, wasn't fun. lol. I have learned to be "content" in my life's status.
May God pour his blessing upon you and keep you safe.
I've been thinking about buying a really fast motorcycle but a little voice keeps telling me it would be a bad idea.
Going really fast pushes out all other thoughts and creates a euphoric feeling. It's not terribly safe though.
(grin!) Maybe take all the sensible precautions (lessons, helmet, leather gear, practise, &tc) and then do it anyway!
Adrenaline is good! And when you think about it carefully, Depression isn’t terribly safe, either: it kills 15% of those of us who have it. Motorbike riding is much safer than that!
All it takes is a couple of days off the meds, and the damage is done.
Thank you for posting that. I know what you're talking about.
My oldest son, 28, was manic most of the time, and would not take meds. He was very intelligent. He would occasionally become psychotic and physically abusive to my wife and other children. Not a few times did police surround our home.
It was so bad I had to get him out of our home in 2002, first to an apartment, and then to a little house that we bought for him to live in.
He would always come over to our house and even when he was not extremely manic there still remained the anxiety and worry what he would next.
Because of his brilliance, and because of Mom's heroic effort he managed to get this close to a master's degree in philosophy. Otherwise his life was completely unmanageable. She went to such great lengths and sacrifice that I often thought only that she was enabling his illness and insanity.
I type this this over and over, revising and revising, trying it to make it right. I can't. I realize that I'm attempting to convey his life in words and I just can't do it justice. It is too painful for me.
He was stabbed to death in his little house last November 11th by our youngest son, who now sits in jail charged with first degree murder.
The author of this piece, Mike Adams, says that people who shout "I’m bipolar" usually don’t want to be helped, and that if we feed their sense of entitlement we hurt them very badly. Maybe that is true. I don't know anymore. His points about the danger of self-absorbtion, and the healing value of reaching out to others are certainly not controversial. I do know, though, that my son's very real illness was the very thing that got in his way of wanting to be "helped", even assuming that there were Help for him.
Bromides of self-help and medication only go so far. Beyond that is God's estate.
Cordially,
> Some thoughts on this from a Christian perspective here.
Well said, recommended reading. Thanks for posting this.
"What differentiates bipolar disorder from major depression is the occurrence of manic episodes, often described as emotional "highs," between the episodes of depression. Symptoms of manic states are varied and include restlessness, increased energy, euphoric mood, racing thoughts, poor judgment, intrusive or provocative behavior, difficulty concentrating, and a decreased need for sleep. People experiencing manic episodes often speak very rapidly, seem overly irritable, and may have unrealistic beliefs about their own power and capability."
Once again, I am commenting on (untreated) Bi-Polar people in general, not you. Thank you for respecting the distinction.
Promiscuity and risky behavior are often also features of the manic state (luckily for me, they’re not). A fair few bipolar patients will engage in unprotected sex with multiple partners when they are manic, thus running the risk of STDs among other things.
Quite a few of those other symptoms on your list resonate with me: decreased sleep, racing thoughts, increased energy, euphoria, difficulty concentrating — yup. In many ways the manic cycle can be alot of fun.
Liepolar bears: polar bears that vote for liberal bears and rinos.
I really wish those with mental disorders would stop comparing them to diabetes which is a proveable physical disordr one can die from. The ADA has complained about this formally/won suit over it and I find it quite disgusting that since I was diagonosed at 9yo with this devistating illness that someone would offhand think a mental problem was similar.
I had much the same experince as you with a bi polar who seemed her goal in life was to make everyone around her as miserable as possible.It’s horrible to have to deal with someone who doesn’t give a rip about how they hurt others.
Are you sure we didn't have the same ex? (smirk) Mine declared herself bi-polar and took large quantities of prescription drugs with regular visits to the shrink or counselor. She actually became a lot crazier as our relationship progressed (maybe it was me). When she pulled a butcher knife out of the drawer and stood over me promising to kill herself, I knew it was time for a hasty split.
> I really wish those with mental disorders would stop comparing them to diabetes which is a proveable physical disordr one can die from.
I would like to try to influence your thinking on that, if I may.
Diabetes is without a doubt a dreadful physical disease, and it can be fatal. It can also contribute to a loss of limbs. As I understand it, it is caused by the body’s inability to produce Insulin (for the insulin-dependent type of diabetes, anyrate).
It would certainly never be my intention to trivialize diabetes. It is my intention to educate people with the seriousness of Clinical Depression, Anxiety, and Bipolar Disorder.
Like Diabetes, each of these can be fatal. How fatal? Statistics aren’t easy to find for this: the fatalities tend to get rolled up into suicides, vehicle accidents, misadventure, other medical complaints such as heart attacks and AIDS, drug overdose, and violent crime.
One leading expert whose name I forget put a wet finger into the air and estimated that as many as 15% of all patients with Clinical Depression will die from it. Given that 30$ of the population will, at some time in their lives, experience Clinical Depression, that is a scary number: 4.5% of the population as a whole.
Bipolar Disorder has its own series of serious medical risks: many Bipolar patients, when “manic”, engage in promiscuous activities, and hi-risk activities — such as unprotected sex with large numbers of perfect strangers. Naturally, they are at an increased risk of AIDS and other STDs. Bipolar patients can also be very antisocial, bringing with it risks of physical violence. And, when depressed, they too are at risk of suicide.
Anxiety, which is similar to Clinical Depression, can give a patient all of the symptoms of a heart attack, up to and including a full-on heart attack. Or atrial/ventricular fibrillations. It often manifests itself with the patient having dangerously hi blood pressure, bringing with that the risk of stroke.
These are all serious, non-trivial medical outcomes that nobody in their right mind would want for themselves.
And, like diabetes, some of them are caused by the human body being incapable of producing important bio-chemicals, thus requiring daily medication.
> The ADA has complained about this formally/won suit over it and I find it quite disgusting that since I was diagonosed at 9yo with this devistating illness that someone would offhand think a mental problem was similar.
I know nothing about the ADA — I assume it is an association that has been established to advocate for diabetics. I also know nothing of their suit or what would possess them to sue over this comparison: on the face of it, it would seem a silly thing to do.
I hope that I’ve clarified my position on comparing these mental illnesses to diabetes: I do so deliberately and not in an off-hand manner because there are many legitimate similarities. Both are serious medical complaints, both can be fatal, and both are caused by bio-chemicals that the body needs but is unable to produce, requiring daily medication.
I’ve made it my duty to be vocal on behalf of the Clinically Depressed and the Bipolar not because I want attention — that’s the last thing I want or need — but because these disorders are so seriously misunderstood and underestimated that people are at risk through not knowing, and people who have these disorders are often unfairly stigmatized by those who have no clue.
I asked myself that same question - still waiting for an answer, I'm just so inconsiderate....
No sorry that just doesn’t wash. Those reasons of death are self inflicted not because of a phsyical diease that you had nothing to do with getting other than bad genes. The ADA won a multi million dollar settlement against a mental health association to get them to stop using this comparison because it is false and misleading. I’d ask the same from you.
We are talking about long time off the drugs not a missed dose or two.
I’m very sorry for your family tragedy. I can’t imagine how you would get through such an experience. Prayers for you and your family.
Cordially,
I have been Blessed with Bipolar. There are, indeed, bipolar jerks. I have chosen to not to accept their perspective on my disorder. The first chapter of my book is posted on this site under the title “BLESSED WITH BIPOLAR?” the book will be published in September. (Xulonpress.com)
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