Posted on 07/22/2009 5:49:29 AM PDT by Kaslin
It’s getting old, isn’t it? Everyone these days is bipolar or has some other chic mental disorder that he feels excuses his self-centered conduct. Like the guy who once walked into my class twenty minutes late. I told him it was his last time to come in late. He said, “But you don’t understand, I’m bipolar.” And he said it in front of the whole class.
Having a mental disorder used to be a source of embarrassment. But, now, it’s often a request for special treatment, which, when granted, fuels self-centered conduct. That’s why a pastor friend of mine now hears the claim “But, I’m bipolar!” in approximately 80 percent of his marital counseling sessions. This means that approximately 40 percent of the people he counsels are claiming to be “bipolar.”
Is there something in the water that is causing a massive outbreak in manic-depression and other mental disorders? Or is it possible that we live culture of entitlement, which gives us strong incentives to claim some sort of disability rather than face the consequences of our freely chosen actions?
Just about everyone who really suffers from some form of depression (manic or otherwise) has something in common: He is engaged in self-centered conduct, which either a) actually caused the disorder (real or perceived), or b) greatly exacerbates the disorder (real or perceived).
People who suffer from, or claim to suffer from, some form of depression usually respond in one of two ways:
1) They seek psychological counseling, which focuses largely on “talk therapy.” During these talk therapy sessions the patient pays a doctor to listen to him talk at length about himself and his problems. Since this is just another exercise in self-absorption, it rarely works.
2) They seek psychiatric care, which usually results in a drug prescription. Paying someone to give you mood altering drugs, rather than addressing your behavior, involves a degree of self-absorption that simply cannot be ignored. But it usually is ignored. And that’s why the drugs usually don’t do the trick. In fact, they often lead people to suicide.
Behind the two generally misguided approaches to curing depression is the common fallacy that our emotions are usually the causes, not the effects, of our behavior. But, in reality, it is our behavior that usually shapes our attitudes and our emotions.
If you don’t believe what I’m saying I want you to try a little exercise the next time you wake up in a bad mood. All it involves is simply forcing yourself to smile and exchange simple pleasantries with every stranger you see during the morning hours. That simple act of saying something nice and seeing a return smile will kill any bad mood in less than half a day. It has a success rate of about 100 percent. And simple variants of the exercise work for more prolonged cases of the blues. Let me provide an example.
A few weeks ago, I had a strong compulsion to ask a neighbor to church. He was going through serious legal and financial struggles. I kept hearing that “you should” voice telling me to ask him to attend church with me. On July 4, the voice was really strong. But I ignored it and simply waved at my neighbor as I drove by his house.
On July 6, police cars surrounded his home. Just before noon they carried his lifeless body out on a stretcher. I was simply devastated by the thought of how things might have been different had I acted.
The next week was one of the saddest I’ve had in many, many months. And it was brought on by the same thing that always brings on sadness or depression. I had acted like a self-absorbed jerk. Rather than reach out to someone who was suffering I went on about my business. I was more worried that having a talk with him might be awkward or might cut into my time smoking cigars with my friends.
And this is where things begin to get dangerous. When we screw up - due to our own self-absorption – the chances are that we’ll screw up again by allowing the negative energy of one bad decision to fuel another similar bad decision. That’s often the way mild depression turns to serious depression. It is an unhealthy cycle that must be broken.
After a few days of kicking myself, I took out a sheet of paper. On it, I wrote the letter “A” and stared at it until I could think of someone who was hurting whose name began with the letter “A.” After a few minutes, I remembered a woman whose husband died of a heart attack last spring. I picked up the phone and called her and told her a funny story about her husband. I shared some things about him that brought back some memories and made her laugh out loud. Before I hung up I told her that many people loved her and were praying for her. The call made the day brighter for both of us.
And then I picked up my pen and wrote down the letter “B.” I don’t have to tell you that by the time I reached the letter “F” I was feeling like I was on top of the world.
The truth is that changing one’s behavior with an exercise in other-absorption, rather than self-absorption, will cure what most people label as depression. If that fails they should talk to a professional. If that also fails they should consider an experiment with prescribed medication.
But people who shout “I’m bipolar” usually don’t want to be helped. And if we feed their sense of entitlement we hurt them very badly.
Congratulations on your book and I think you have made the best decision
> Those reasons of death are self inflicted
...while suffering from a serious mental disorder that pre-disposes them to self-destructive acts. Rather like bulimia and anorexia do. It is not something that they do by free will.
> not because of a phsyical diease that you had nothing to do with getting other than bad genes.
It is unclear why people get Clinical Depression and Bipolar Disorder: it may be bad genes, it may be environmental — nobody knows. Alot more research needs to be done.
What is known is that they are serious disorders and that they occur due to an absence of necessary biochemistry. In that respect they are very much like diabetes.
> The ADA won a multi million dollar settlement against a mental health association to get them to stop using this comparison because it is false and misleading.
Bully for the ADA. The courts are hardly a valid forum to establish medical fact: lawyers and judges know as much about mental illness as they know about automotive engineering or rocket design.
And shame on the ADA for depriving the mental health association of much-needed donor funds thru a frivolous lawsuit. I hope it made them happy spending the multimillions that should have gone toward researching mental health issues and finding mental health treatments. If that doesn’t define “selfish” I don’t know what does.
The comparison is neither false nor misleading: it is quite accurate. Clinical Depression and Bipolar Disorder occur because the body does not create necessary biochemistry for the brain to function properly. Sorry, that is how it is.
> I’d ask the same from you.
I would like to accommodate your request, and if it made sense to do so I would. But it doesn’t, so I can’t and won’t.
I have a great deal of sympathy for those with diabetes, but at the end of the day that disease is their issue: mine are Clinical Depression and Bipolar Disorder.
And, at the end of the day, the ADA means little to me: they are an organization that advocates for diabetes: that’s great — I can support that at an intellectual level. It’s time that the organizations that advocate for mental disorders did as thorough a job as the ADA obviously does.
So on this issue we may have to agree to disagree.
> We are talking about long time off the drugs not a missed dose or two.
That being the case, yeah, your observation could easily be right — if you don’t take your meds for a long time then they can’t help you with your bipolar disorder.
Other people — like you — would probably notice the change in her personality long before she did. It is certainly observable.
It’s actually quite dangerous to stop taking your meds suddenly: if you stop taking them at all (I never will) then you are supposed to taper off your dosage under close medical supervision. This involves plenty of blood tests and quite a few weeks or months.
I’m quite happy to stay on my meds forever: they don’t have any side-effects that bother me, and the difference between feeling normal and feeling lousy is big enough that I’d never voluntarily be without them.
That should prove to be an interesting read. Thanks for writing the book, I look forward to it.
Thank you for the encouragement. I know from experience the pain of bipolar. But I also know that there are symptoms that, when harnessed, can enhance our lives and be used for good.
If a person could decide which mental illness to have, bipolar would be the only sane choice.
Thank you.
That was our observation and some of her family members, that she DCed her drugs for a period of time,relapse and went back into the behavior that drives away everyone.
As you noted, patients/people, who are titrated correctly on the drugs and take them as directed do very well.
Congratulations to you for doing what is right for you, your family and friends.
I have a son who is truly bipolar and struggles every day. Self absorbed articles like this by someone who has never seen true mental illness make me angry and sad.
I agree bipolar is the fashionable excuse for everything these days, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t some out there who truly have it and need help.
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