Posted on 07/28/2009 7:38:13 AM PDT by AreaMan
My Weekly Date with a Liberal - ‘Emotional Redistribution’ by Jon David
The article will begin shortly.
Thank you for your patience. Let’s begin.
Although facebook has been the gift that keeps on giving in terms of confirming whether or not a prospective date is or is not a liberal, for this installment I thought I’d put my instincts to the test by participating in the very underrated process of “stereotyping.”
I think, and rightfully so, that many Americans feel that Los Angeles is a place bankrupt of spirituality…not to mention just plain bankrupt. However, there is a spiritual movement among Angelinos that folks may not be aware of, largely because it is a faith so self indulgent it would be difficult for the average hard working American to fathom. This movement is called “Spiritual Psychology.”
Let me just say this for fear of being labeled judgmental: I have nothing against spirituality or psychology; in fact, I actually saw a Medicine Man on an Indian reservation in the Jemez Valley to help me with a “problem” I’d prefer not to discuss here. It was an extremely spiritual, dare I say magical experience, after which my “problem” did not improve in the least.
In terms of psychology, I am a huge proponent, having spent countless hours and dollars on a therapist’s couch over the years. The results have been miraculous: I am aware of every problem I have ever had and the root cause behind each one of those problems, and yet somehow have not discovered the means to change a single pattern of behavior.
So what I’m saying is….I’m open. So when a platonic girlfriend of mine mentioned she was attending a University for Spiritual Psychology, my interest was peaked. She was what I call...
Now the Culps had their pitch down. They knew that every potential buyer in that room (save for one) was lost, desperate, searching, dissatisfied with his or her life, and therefore open–and by “open” I mean subject to influence.
They cleverly used the word “Stuck.” A word so general anyone could find meaning in it, not unlike a fortune cookie. We were all united by our inability to improve our lives….and guess who had the ability to pull us out of the mud? The Culps. They would lead us out. Don’t get me wrong, we would all have to do our part. We would all pitch in like a not so shovel ready emotional public works program which would require extensive sharing….so much sharing, in fact, that it would make an Alanon group seem like a bunch of introverts.
In addition, we would have to “let go of our painful ego structure by removing identity.” Let me repeat that “let go of our painful ego structure by removing identity.” The math was basic…and alarming.
Once we removed our identities, we could “manifest” what we wanted in our lives: the great job, the big break, the perfect woman, less back hair…
Got Jesus? Probably not.
Love Big Hollywood. Especially Jon David’s Date with A Liberal. Gary Graham is also one of my favorites.
bump 4 l8tr. sure like the title and its ammendments. the opening is kinda cool, too.
Good article, with an excellent conclusion.
We chose a nice spot to sit down. The lotus position was implied so I bent myself uncomfortably into it. Before there was sharing of any kind, Jaquelib wanted to begin with a guided meditation. She would be my guide. Eyes closed. Breathe. Breathe. I was instructed to mentally travel to the whitest of sand beaches where I would discover a box that was left just for me. I was to open the box and see the note inside. On the note something was written, something I wanted. My note said “Newt in 2012.” I was to put the note back in the box and bury it in the sand for another loving soul to find. I hoped 65 million loving souls would find that box. Breathe. Breathe. I was definitely breathing, yet she kept saying it. Eyes closed…but then I heard a stirring in the brush from below the ridge so I opened one eye. Breathe. Breathe. The noise louder….closer and then up from God knows where, Breitbart appeared on horseback, riding sidesaddle, as he is known to do.
Hilarity thy name is Jon David.
A person can actually make a living by writing articles like this? Where do I sign up?
This story is really sad. What a disturbed little girl.
Thank you for your patience. Let’s begin.
This might be one of the funniest riffs I've ever read.
Poor girl did sound very lost.
She needs the Lord, not some collectivist hokum. Only He can heal the heart.
bump
“My note said “Newt in 2012.” I was to put the note back in the box and bury it in the sand for another loving soul to find. I hoped 65 million loving souls would find that box.”
LMAO!!
Indeed, my conclusion as well, for both the author and especially the girl.
Her sadness and hurt could be offloaded to the foot of the cross if she made that choice.
Lol - That’s funny, thanks for posting.
Especially so was where the author said that psychology gave him the knowledge to see all his faults... but nothing with which to change/fix them.
Me am amazed people like that exist.
There are millions of people like that.
When someone is raised with no direction, no clear path, goal or rules, she grows up lost and confused.
What a heartwrenchingly sad way to go through life!
You should come out to the left coast...they're everywhere.
>>The results have been miraculous: I am aware of every problem I have ever had and the root cause behind each one of those problems, and yet somehow have not discovered the means to change a single pattern of behavior.
>
>Got Jesus? Probably not.
Indeed, but what are the purposes of psychology and psychiatry? It has been observed that w/o God, laborers work in vain; that when a man gets rid of his demon seven more can come in.... this is the human condition.
You are right that we need a Savior, and thank God that He gave us one in the person of Jesus.
What an entertaining read!
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