Don’t go giving Mrs. Woods any ideas.
Ping
Driving Miss Blazey????
Need to ban all pick up trucks. /s
Guess Tiger is lucky he is not a champion demolition derby driver or big rig trucker.
Smoking cigarettes is not cool.
Light up a truck instead!
Hunka, hunka burnin’ love.
Hope it made her feel better.
Come on baby light my fire!
“She never hit the brakes and was still shifting gears.”
Sorry, Garth
Intentional Heartache...Dwight Yoakam
She drove South I-95 straight though Carolina
She didn’t use no damn map to find her way
She pulled off on the state route just north of Charlotte
And took mostly country roads the rest of the day
She said I’ll give him an intentional heartache
That’ll hurt a lot worse than the one he left in me
Would you all step back so a girl might to get started
And he won’t have to look twice to see
She drove up across the yard and though his momma’s garden
Didn’t touch the brakes, she slammed right into his Chevrolet
Tossed out his clothes, boots, bud cap, and signed Dale Jr. poster
Then shot the whole mess neon green with a can of Dupont spray
(Repeat Chorus)
She said I’ll give you an intentional heartache
That’ll hurt a lot worse than the one that you left in me
And tell your little tramp to step back so your ex wife can get started
And you won’t have to look twice to see
Just watch this
Then she sprayed that Bud cap bright green
Said Connie put that can of spray paint down
Just watch this
Then she pulled them Nakona boots out, sprayed them neon too
Put the can down Connie
She give it hell with that can of spray paint
He kept yelling at her just put the can down
So she sprayed him
Then she did a dance on top of that Dale Jr. poster
Just kind of a hoochie coochie
Alright Connie
He said I saw you Connie, now put it down
Just watch this, she run over to the passenger side of that Monte Carlo
And she sprayed tramp
On the hood on the back of the house
We tried to call her sister
What was that girls name
Said you gotta come get this girl
Nancy, I think
She said watch this
Said Lookee here lookee here, watch this
She run that girl back up on the porch
Screamin’ at her tramp this
Oh yeah
She give him an intentional heartache
Alright, alright Connie I heard you
His momma was crying in there on the phone
His daddy said
I told you that girl was gonna get like that
She said watch this, here
And Tiger thought HE had a problem.
Here’s some free advice:
If you fall asleep watching Monday Night Football, and your wife wakes you up, do NOT call her ‘Barbara’ unless that is actually her name.
I’m still sleeping on the couch.
Women are just plain mean.
Guess she doesn’t need flame decals.
“She never hit the brakes and she was shifting gears.”