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How To Tell If You Would Make A Good Taliban Recruit.
?
Posted on 01/04/2010 2:00:40 PM PST by MindBender26
"YOU MAY BE A TALIBAN IF...."
1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor.
2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.
3. You have more wives than teeth.
4. You wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon "unclean."
5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.
6. You can't think of anyone you haven't declared Jihad against.
7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.
8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.
9. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four.
10. You've always had a crush on your neighbor's goat.
11. Your cousin is president of the United States
TOPICS: Foreign Affairs; Government; News/Current Events; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: alqaeda; islam; muslim; rop; taliban
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To: MindBender26
ROFLMAO! With that "logic" it's a wonder they've lasted this long!
21
posted on
01/04/2010 2:35:15 PM PST
by
Lady Jag
(Double your income. Fire the government)
To: 1776 Reborn
Hey, when did you steal MY dryer!?
22
posted on
01/04/2010 2:35:23 PM PST
by
GnuHere
To: MindBender26
“If you think 72 virgins refers to WOMEN” !!!!!
To: scottdeus12
To: Paul46360
If you think 72 virgins refers to WOMEN !!!!!
Or MEN!!! Think GOAT the other, other white meat!
25
posted on
01/04/2010 2:39:11 PM PST
by
Kartographer
(".. we mutually pledge to each other our lives, our fortunes, and our sacred honor.")
To: MindBender26
26
posted on
01/04/2010 2:39:25 PM PST
by
rae4palin
(proud bigot)
To: MindBender26
How about: you wear a rag on your head, because two heads are better than one.
27
posted on
01/04/2010 2:41:05 PM PST
by
Mr Ramsbotham
(Obey the law, or you'll go to prison and be raped.)
To: GnuHere
Geez, when the guy sold it to me on the street he said that was unique feature!
To: 1776 Reborn
29
posted on
01/04/2010 2:45:06 PM PST
by
GnuHere
To: MindBender26
I see you got the same email I did.
Happy New Year.
To: MindBender26
Some are pretty funny.... ▲
31
posted on
01/04/2010 2:54:09 PM PST
by
ßuddaßudd
(7 days - 7 ways Guero >>> with a floating, shifting, ever changing persona.....)
To: MindBender26
A sect of this murderous Cult of Islam believe
their next prophet will be born by a man.
They check their feces by hand to see if any of
the lumps might be it.
32
posted on
01/04/2010 3:05:49 PM PST
by
HuntsvilleTxVeteran
((B.?) Hussein (Obama?Soetoro?Dunham?) Change America Will Die From.)
To: MindBender26
If they ask you if you have a pair of loafers, and you say you have two brothers................
To: 1776 Reborn
Does your dryer “eat” your socks? I’ll put an even amt.of socks in but when I remove them,I’ll be missing a few. I hate that!
34
posted on
01/04/2010 3:11:15 PM PST
by
POWERSBOOTHEFAN
(Blessed Be The Name Of The Lord,For His Name Alone Is Exaulted)
To: POWERSBOOTHEFAN
I think that was the extra game cartridge that came with mine. The machine hides them in different pieces of clothing each time!
To: 1776 Reborn
If I find a matching sock it’ll be clinging to the sheets,but some are lost forever.Where could they have possibly gone? There must be a ghost or something....
36
posted on
01/04/2010 3:19:42 PM PST
by
POWERSBOOTHEFAN
(Blessed Be The Name Of The Lord,For His Name Alone Is Exaulted)
To: POWERSBOOTHEFAN
37
posted on
01/04/2010 4:11:34 PM PST
by
Cheburashka
(It's a _happy_ Russian novel. Everybody still dies, but everybody dies happy.)
To: antiRepublicrat
16) If your underpants drawer includes boxers, briefs and C4 - You might be a Taliban
17) If the hardest part about building a car bomb is finding a car in your country that runs - you may be a Taliban
If your idea of proper dress for air travel involves a fuse - you might be a Taliban.
18) If you have ever bought a halfway ticket on an airline - you might be a Taliban.
If you don't find anything suspicious about a guy with a fuse in his underpants buying a halfway airline ticket - you work for the TSA.
38
posted on
01/04/2010 4:28:37 PM PST
by
GonzoGOP
(There are millions of paranoid people in the world and they are all out to get me.)
To: MindBender26
If you have ever considered the Jerry Lee Lewis song "Great Balls of Fire" as a military tactic - you might be a Taliban.
If you think that TNT strapped to a goat is a smart bomb, and think that a bomb with a retarded fuse setting involves your brother - you might be a Taliban.
If any part of your units plan of attack involves the phrase "And then Achmed blows up" - you might be a Taliban.
If you have read the entire Koran but have never read a pamphlet on personal hygiene - you might be a Taliban.
If you have more explosives in your tent/cave than food and soap combined - you might be a Taliban.
If you think the best way to pick up girls is to blow yourself up - you might be a Taliban.
39
posted on
01/04/2010 4:54:59 PM PST
by
GonzoGOP
(There are millions of paranoid people in the world and they are all out to get me.)
To: 1776 Reborn
“My dryer can wind up sheets pretty well for hats, does that count? ;-)”
Yes, this counts for two!
40
posted on
01/05/2010 5:13:20 AM PST
by
stephenjohnbanker
(Support our troops, and vote out the RINO's!)
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